Charmed Love
by Superhero11
Summary: "With that I closed my eyes and went to sleep, knowing all the while that he was there and that as long as he was by my side, holding my hand, I would be safe. And I floated back off into unconsciousness, with a contented smile on my face." Read&Review!
1. Last Year

Charmed Love

September 1

Platform 9 ¾

My last year at Hogwarts has finally rolled around. I can still remember when I first started here about 6 years ago. I had always thought that magic and witches were something out of a terrible Halloween movie. Boy was I wrong! I remember when Snape first came and told me that I was special like him. That I was a witch. That proclamation changed my life forever.

When I first came to Hogwarts I was scared out of my mind. I was a muggle-born, a _mudblood_, not good enough to be a witch or to use magic. I was determined to prove them all wrong. I studied and prepared and labored over all of my studies. Charms and Potions always came easy for me, I had as you could say a knack for them. I passed with the second highest marks in my year.

I had another huge triumph this year just a few weeks ago when I received my Head girl badge. However, that joy was joined with a feeling of impending embarrassment for my male counterpart was none other than James Potter.

_James Potter_

The boy who was the preverbal piece of straw that broke the back of my friendship with Snape. (Okay, it really is not his fault but he was sure a part of it)

_James Potter_

The boy who never misses a chance to trip me in the halls (which isn't saying much for I am terrible clumsy), beat me in school work (he was the one student who scored better than me), or embarrass me in any other way.

_James Potter_

The boy I used to be madly in love with until I got a swift dose of reality and realized that he could and would never fancy me. Sure he has asked me out, but that was just to humiliate me, right?

_James Potter_

The boy I despise but can never seem to get completely out of my mind. The boy who has so many faults, but I can't seem to ignore him and hate him all the more for those faults as I should. The boy who is ever so arrogant. That unfortunately only makes me notice him more.

I really don't know how I am going to survive this year. Hopefully Potter will have finally matured to actually be nice enough so that we can be friends. Ha-ha. I know, wishful thinking, right?

I do hope that I can pass through this year without making a complete fool of myself, or at least not ending up in the Hospital Wing every day. I am going to make a plan right now for how I am going to do it…

Pay attention in all of my classes. I already do that but it can't hurt to include it on my list.

Make sure I eat breakfast every day. I am horrible about skipping breakfast because I either slept in or I just plain forgot. Then the rest of the day until Lunch I go around thinking about how hungry I am. That my friend is not fun at all.

Don't stay up all night reading the Twilight Saga. I understand that they are a muggle series and that vampires don't exist, even in the magical world. (Which just between the two of us I found huge disappointment. I mean we have werewolves but not vampires. Come on!) I just can't get enough of the characters. Carlisle and Esme are my favorite. They don't have enough scenes between the two of them.

Wear flat shoes!!! I tried to wear small heels last year and let me be the first to tell you that it was not my smartest decision. I will just have to deal with the comments about my small stature.

Do all my Homework. Once again I already do that, but it looks good when I include that on my list.

Ignore James Potter as much is humanly possible.

It's funny how I will never be able to keep that last one seeing as I have to schedule prefect meetings with him every single week.

I just got on the train and found my two best friends, Alice and Elizabeth (Beth). I love those two so much. They are my best friends, we can talk about anything.

"So sweetie, how was your summer? Thanks for all of those wonderful letters that you had promised to send over the summer." Beth said sarcastically.

_Damn, I had forgotten to write them! _

"I did mean to write but my mum was monopolizing all my free time. I am lucky to have any time for myself or to get my homework done" I lied as casually as I could.

"Lily, we know you enough to realize that you just plain forgot to write the letters. We can guess that you were probably just reading about you vegetarian vampires again. We both know how you get when you start reading one of your books." Alice explained as she playfully poked me with one of her fingers.

"Thanks you guys for not being upset with me, you're the best. So how emotional were you parents over getting you last letters. Mine were practically besides themselves with happiness over my Head Girl promotion." I said as I carefully pinned my Head Girl badge to the front of my school robes.

"So you did get the title of Head Girl, huh? Can't say that I am terribly surprised, your getting really high marks and all. My little super-nerd." Beth said with mock excitement.

"Wait, Lily isn't James Head Boy?" Alice asked sounding all concerned, but slightly too interested.

"Yes, I think I do remember his name mentioned somewhere in the letter." I said as offhandedly and casual as I possibly could manage considering the circumstances.

Alice let out a low whistle and her golden eyes got really wide. Beth on the other hand must have thought that was the funniest thing in the world for she started laughing.

"That is probably going to make things a little tense between the two of you considering the fact that you are like in love with him." Beth stated.

"I d-do not lo-love James Potter." I stammered because I don't. (I had at one point, but that is a thing of the past.)

"Sweetie, I can tell that you like him a lot. Every time last year when you thought that I was not paying attention you would look over at him. You are really not that sneaky. You say that you do not love him when in fact you do." Alice explained as she looked at me with sympathetic eyes.

"I told you that I do not fancy James Potter." I said getting more agitated by the moment. Why oh why could they not just believe me, I thought.

"Whatever makes you happy. But always know that we will always know the truth." Beth said as she rolled her dark brown eyes.

"You just keep telling yourself that." Alice muttered to herself.

"I Do Not Fancy James Potter!" I screamed standing up staring them down with my emerald green eyes hopping that they would get the point.

I heard something moving outside the compartment, but I payed no attentio0n to it. Well at the moment at least.

"Can we please talk about something else?" I practically begged because at this point my emotions were all in a jumble.

"Okay…….so……How is life?" Beth said in her usual topic changer statement, but she was looking outside the compartment window as she said it.

I was just about to answer her question when the compartment door slid open. I didn't turn around because I knew it was probably the person who was at the door earlier. "Hello Lily." A deep voice said.

I froze instantly because I recognized that voice. I would have been able to recognize that voice anywhere at any time. I bet I could even be able to pick it out of the crowd. My subconscious had stored it into my memory for some weird reason.

It was _his_ voice.

James Potter.

Oh, crap!

Author's Note: This is my first story. I am not sure how good or bad it is but my friends who have all read it think that it is very good. They have all given me ideas small or big on what to add so now I will give them credit in case I forget to later. They are…Hannah, Katie, Jenny, Sara, and Shannon. I have written more in a notebook, but I am not sure how soon I will update for I am really slow at typing. I also do not own Harry Potter or anything that that entails. Duh! I don't because if I was I would be publishing it in a book.

Until Later

Love Allison


	2. Friends?

Author's Note: I do not know how frequently I will be updating this story. I am almost done with school so I will be having more time at my disposal. All I can say is that I will update as much as I possibly can, which will probably be once a week….Now, on to the story

September 1, Later

Perfect Compartment

Wow. Ummmm….. I cannot even begin to comprehend what just happened here. I think that the going back to school whatever must be catching up with me. That is the only possible explanation that I can think of.

James was…..actually nice to me.

I _know_, strange.

Because after he said "hey" and I turned around in a fast half circle which made my auburn hair fly out all around me. I was so surprised that he was there; let alone calling me by my first name. For we have never _ever_ been on a first name basis. I then made that huge mistake of looking at him, because he looked _fantastic._

He was just standing there in his school robes acting all cool and collected, leaning against the door frame. The picture of ease as he stood waiting for my answer.

I, on the other hand did not act cool or collected at all. How was I supposed to do that? Here I was, not just two seconds ago, talking about him. The doors are not sound proof. He must have heard Alice's and Beth's totally _wrong_ speculations about my feelings for him. Hopefully he would believe what I had said. Who was I kidding, he would just use that as another opportunity to humiliate me, by asking me out for a date.

His brow started to crease between the eyebrows in a little "v". His hazel eyes started to get all concerned; probably with worry over the fact that I had lost the ability to speak. Well, I suppose that I _had_ for a few seconds. He left me speechless, boy doesn't that sound cliché.

"Evans, are you okay?" He asked.

"I am fine, thank you. I'll ask you, however, what in the world you are bothering me for?" I tried as best I could to make my voice sound harsh, but instead it was slightly squeaky and high. His talking to me right now was not in any way helping my calm expression at the moment.

"I just cane to tell you that we need to get ready for our first prefect meeting here on the train to brief the 5th years what to do. And that meeting is in…about….seven minutes." He said as he checked his watch and then looked at me.

"Oh." I said in a slightly smaller voice, because I had indeed completely forgotten about the meeting. I had been rude to him for no reason at all. _Great start to your new year, Lily._ I thought to myself. "I guess we should get going then." I said while giving him a small half smile.

"Right after you." He said while slightly lowering his head in a mocking attempt at gentleman behavior.

I decided to let that small jibe pass. It was not worth my effort to comment on his behavior. "See you later." I muttered quickly to Beth and Alice hurrying out of the cabin before they could make any comments about my _feelings_ for James Potter.

I walked as fast as I could. I was practically jogging down the hallway in a pointless attempt to avoid any further conversation with him. Noting my abrupt quickness, James sped up, easily keeping pace with me. Damn Quiddich practices for keeping him in shape.

Before he tried to start any conversation with me I said, "We are going to be late if we don't hurry up. Come on."

Thankfully before he could respond we were at the prefect compartment. It was already full with the selected 5-7th year students, so I knew that we were late. We took our assigned seats next to each other to start the meeting.

I don't really remember what was said because the only thing that I was aware of was the fact that James Potter was sitting next to me. I was extra aware of his every movement. _I shouldn't be this aware of him_, I told myself. He had just turned to look at me; I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

Sensing my uneasiness James started digging around on his bag for a quill and some scrap parchment. He wrote me this note…

_Lily, _

_After this meeting you and I need to talk about something. And don't try to get out of it because I will win that argument no matter what you say._

_Yours, _

_James_

I decided that it was absolutely pointless to try to avoid him because I knew he meant what he said about doing it no matter what. And unfortunately for me that time would probably be in front of Alice of Beth. So I wrote back….

_James,_

_Fine, I will talk with you, but I don't know what we could possibly talk about. I do not have anything that I need to converse with you about._

_Sincerely, _

_Lily_

I would like to state for the record that I only did agree to his suggestion because he had perked my interest.

But what the bloody hell could he want to talk to me about? James Potter and I have absolutely nothing in common. Well, that is except the good marks, being in Gryffindor, and excelling in everything else. But like I said earlier nothing, _absolutely nothing_ in common at all.

So after the meeting he just told me to wait until everyone else had left. And once again he was the picture of ease sitting there with his feet in the table in front of him. I, on the other hand, was freaking out; like my hands were sweating profusely.

"Lily are you okay because you seemed really off during the meeting. If you are nervous I know that you can handle the responsibility of being Head Girl. You are totally capable; I have complete faith in you." James said in what could only be described as a smugly concerned voice.

"Well that is only one small portion of why I am "off". But not really the major part of it. Thanks for the concern but I don't really want nor need it." I said trying as I might to imitate Beth's brusque, sarcastic manner.

"I know that you don't like me. I know that I haven't given you much reason to like me. I know that you think that I am arrogant, but I have really put some effort into deflating my head some. I really don't want to give you more stress than you probably, in truth, need. So, I want you to know that I'll be nice." James said as he put his hand on my forearm. It was not a belittling gesture; he was trying to reassure me.

I froze. This was the first time that he had ever touched me in a simple, friendly manner. His palm was warm, but not by any means hot; it was comfortable. Strong enough to protect you, but soft enough to soothe your fears. It was just a little sweaty; I could tell he was not certain how the gesture would be received. I gave him a little smile to show him that I did not mind his hand being there. This shocked me because until about thirty seconds ago I would have slapped him for touching me. I guess I could tell that he was really trying to be nice.

So I replied "Thanks, James. You promising not to intentially annoy me is a load off my mind. It is not entirely your fault though. I was not exactly nice to you either." I gave a small laugh at the end, finally turning to face him. He broke into a bright grin also while his eyes sparkled with agreement, amusement, and some other emothion that I could not identify.

"Great, so friends Evans?" He asked as he moved his hand to put it out into the front of his chest waiting for a handshake.

"Friends." I agreed taking his hand and give it a good shake. And since this is my journal I can confide that when we shook hands I felt a tingling sensation go up my arm. I never wanted to let go. I had to consciously remind myself that this is _James Potter_, and that I did not like him like that.

"Lovely, well I have to go." He said quickly as he got up from the bench to go to the door.

"Talk to you later, Potter." I added while I sat staring at my hand.

"See you around _friend_." He said, giving me a quick wink before he left the compartment.

I sat there dumbstruck for the next minute or so. The wink was a classic James moment, but why do I get the feeling that I'll never see one again without thinking of him.

I should probably get going before Beth and Alice come looking for me. God only knows how many questions they are going to spring on me.

James Potter and Lily Evans, friends?

Wow, I know.

Damn Scary, right?


	3. What Alice and Beth Think

Charmed Love: Chapter 3

September 1 –Even Later

Great Hall –First Dinner

Hurray! I am finally here at my home away from my actual home. Well I suppose that even sometimes I have grown to love this place even more than my real home. It feels so good to be back here again. The place of magic and learning that I have come to know and love dearly. I do love my family, don't get me wrong, but my sister's jokes and complaints can really get old very quickly.

We got off the train and then boarded one of those horseless carriages to take us to the castle. I was just climbing into the carriage after Alice to get into my seat, seems easy enough, right? Well, me being the uncoordinated person that I am, got my foot stuck on the ladder prong. Well, as I am sure you can guess, I lost my balance and fell down. Great, insert sarcasm here! Well, actually compared to my usual that is nothing at all. Normally, Beth would have madde4 a comment about my non-existent balance after she helped me up, but she wasn't here. I started to get up when all of a sudden, two very strong hands grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up onto my feet. I already knew who it was, so I turned around so that I could grudgingly thank him.

"I could have handled that by myself, James. But thank you anyways." I said while brushing away the small bits of grass that had stuck to my robe. I sometimes feel like I am forever doing that, seeing as I fall down so incredibly much.

"Don't mention it. What was I supposed to do? I have to help every damsel in distress, but I am exceptionally glad that it was you. See you later, Lily Evans." He said, while he turned to leave to go join his friends. However before he left he turned around and winked at me again.

I really don't know why he feels the need to wink at me, but as much as I loathe admitting it; it is incredibly cute. It makes me feel like we share some kind of secret, only I don't know what the secret is. Which you can probably guess is very aggravating.

"Did James Potter just _wink_ at you?" Beth was back, and in her usual no nonsense manner got straight to the point, pulling me from my thoughts. Usually I find that very nice and refreshing, but at this moment in time not so much. Because the whole not-being-passive-to-the-wink-thing is not helping my I-do-not-fancy-James-Potter cause.

"Yeah, I guess he did, but I really didn't notice." Trying my best to sound like it was a very everyday occurrence for a guy like James to wink at my. Sometimes I _really_ wish that she could be less aware of what does on in my life.

"Lily, you can be so mind-blazingly clueless at times." Beth said while looking at me as if I were missing a very obvious fact. When I didn't respond to that remark, she climbed into the carriage. I followed in quickly so that I could not fall down again.

I sat sown in the carriage next to Alice and across from Beth who was still looking aggravated. Beth said to Alice "She is still in denial, and is refusing to admit that one day they might become more than friends." She did not even need to tell Alice who she was referring to.

I do not know why they think that I might fancy James Potter. And _now_ they are under the sad misconception that he might like and in fact _does_ fancy me in return. They really have no Idea how things are between James and I. We have only started being civil to one another; anything else is not in the nearby future. I decided to pass the ride by replaying parts of my conversation with Alice and Beth in my head…..

_"You. And. James….Friends? Alice asked in a voice of poorly disguised curiosity. She was practically off of her chair; she was sitting so close to the edge of her seat. I have never seen her like this before. Well, Beth I would expect something like this from._

_"Yeah, I guess we are. I can't even bloody understand the situation myself. He just said that he didn't want things to be tense between us, and that he wanted to be friends. It will be nice not having to dread his presence considering the fact that we will have to spend loads of time together."_

_"Lily, Lily, Lily" Beth said shaking her head like a teacher who must once again explain the steps to make a paper airplane to a 5 year old again. "When are you going to admit that you secretly love the idea of spending loads of time with James? Plenty of time for the two of you to kiss when you finally get around to it." She said while suggestively raising her eyebrows at me._

_"Beth!" I said exasperated. "I do not have any nor do I plan to make any plans to go around kissing James Potter. That is completely out of the question. Even if I did like him like that, he has made it pretty obvious that he doesn't fancy me anymore."_

_"You. Are. So. Incredibly. Clueless." Alice said. "Sometimes I think that you should be the blonde, not me, because God in heaven knows that you act like one more than I do." She said as she pulled at a lock of her honey blonde shoulder length curls._

_"Lily and I want you to pay attention because I am only going to say this once. James has fancied you for about 5 _years_ now. Everyone knows that he wants you. I would bet all the money in my pocket right now that even Dumbledore knows! I bet that it you went up to any 2__nd__ year and asked them James Potter love blank. 9 out of 10 times they would say Lily Evans because you would have had to have lived under a bloody _rock_ to not know that simple well known fact. But then again you can never be too sure with 2__nd__ years." Beth ranted on and on._

_"You guys don't even know what you are talking about at all." I said as I rolled my eyes skyward and sighed under my breath. I do love my friends, but God knows when they get an idea in their heads they prove to be most stubborn when that topic is brought up._

_"He fancied you. You are in love with him. One day you are going to wake up and smell the coffee, and realize that Hogwarts most eligible bachelor is in love with you. And you will have nowhere to hide, my friend." Beth said_

_"Lily, Beth is right. I personally cannot wait for that moment. I have always thought that the two of you would make the cutest couple." Alice said._

_I know that right now it is annoying me, but I do love that my friend and I can talk about stuff like that. However now it not one of those moments…_

We got out of the carriages. I actually managed without falling on my face or otherwise embarrassing myself. Maybe that is a good omen of things to come.

I walked to the castle with a sense of familiarity and relief. I loved this school of magic because I wasn't allowed to use magic in the muggle world. The castle still looked the same. I heard the same things. It even _smelled_ the same. Speaking of which I hape they serve dinner soon because I am starving.

I sat down at my regular place at the Gryffindor table beside Beth and Alice. They were already fighting ever who gets the first shower in the morning.

I just looked down the table and saw James and his friends: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. They were all talking in a rather animated manner. James must have sensed my eyes on him because he just turned his head so that his hazel eyes met my emerald ones. He gave me a bright smile and winked at me before turning back to the conversation.

The meal was good although I don't even remember what was served because all I could think about was the wink that James just gave me.


	4. Herbology

**Author's Note: Sorry I haven't updated in over a week. But with Graduation and enjoying the first week of summer, I just have not had time to update. Also, found this really good book series by Julia Quinn. (This is admittedly the real reason that I have not updated. I just love her books.) **

**So why don't I just stop talking and get on with the chapter.**

Charmed Love: Chapter 4

September 8

Herbology

My teachers must be trying to murder me with schoolwork. I was expecting to have to really work this year, but I was not expecting to become a slave to my homework. Really, I swear that I have never been given this much homework at one time. Well, now that I think about it, I did have this amount before I took the OWLs, but that was mostly self-inflicted. Have you ever noticed that when one does something to oneself that it is never as horrible as when you have no choice in the matter? But really this is my homework load.

_Charms- Write a 22 centimeter essay on why being able to cast a successful memory charm can be useful. _

_Transfiguration- Be able to change a bird into a cat without any mistakes, such as correct length in whiskers and appropriate meowing sounds for a quiz in two days time._

_History of Magic- Write a summary essay on Lucifer McClain, and about how his discovery of self-flying kites is useful in the early development of children._

_Potions- Write and 32 centimeter essay on the properties, ingredients, the possible risks, and side effects of the Polyjuice Potion._

_Ancient Runes- Translate all of pages 425-431_

_Herbology- Write a persuasive essay on why the use of Spiral Mimbletonia should be used universally as the sure for the sniffles._

It was an unbelievably long day. The kind of day where you check the clock on the wall behind you every five minutes hoping that if you look at it enough time that the time will pass quicker. Charms and Potions were actually enjoyably given my unnatural talent in them. And also maybe the fact that Professor Slughorn must absolutely love me. I think that in his eyes I must be able to do no wrong. I _am_ really good at it, but he always seems more impressed by me than he would someone else.

Transfiguration and Herbology were tolerable. I am not extremely talented in either, but I am still near the top of the class which makes it fine in my book. It is just that in Transfiguration I always seem to be plagued by my clumsiness more than everywhere else.

History of Magic is just excruciatingly boring. It actually feels like it would be more fun to shoot a flaming arrow at my own foot. At least that would provide entertainment. I suppose that I should not be so harsh though, because when you teacher is a bloody _ghost_ there is not much that you can expect. Personally, I believe, that he proved that someone can actually die from boredom.

Ancient Runes was an absolute horror. I swear on all that I hold dear and holy that Professor Smittey has it out for me. I keep up with my work and pay attention, (which is more than I could say about some people) but I can never seem to please her.

I also really lucked out and my friends are in all of my classes. Alice or Beth is in all of my classes with me. And I was really surprised to see James Potter in a lot of my classes too. But in all fairness I am more surprised that that knowledge had not created a pit of apprehension in my stomach. I guess that my feelings have changed for good. He is in every single class with me except for Herbology, but I have that class with his best friend, Sirius Black.

Speaking of James and seeing him a lot, I noticed something weird about him that I never remembered before, or at least never cared to notice. His hair always stands up in the back. He does run his hands through it a lot, but that is not it exactly it either. I suspect that even without his hands, his hair is quite unmanageable. It also seemed darker than usual, but maybe that just had to do with the stark contrast between his pearly white shirt and his jet black hair.

Bloody hell, I just realized that I must have been staring at that boy again. I have known him for, what, six years, and I can still flat out stare at him. But unfortunately that is the only possible explanation because I can remember exactly how his hair looks.

And to make it worse, whenever he looked over at me he would catch me looking at him. And then because he is James Potter he has to go and smile and wink at me. This, of course, made me blush a deep scarlet and look away really fast. When I finally felt my cheeks cool I would look over again, and I would find him looking at me. His lips would appear nonexistent as if he were trying not to smile; his eyes were sparkling, too.

Herbology, my one class without James, is going as I expected it would, hard to pass the time without him there to help pass the time. I know what you are thinking. You fancy James. No, I don't. He is just interesting to watch. Sigh….huh Sirius Black just asked if I want to be his partner. I thought it over. _Well I guess if he is half as nice as James is this year…_ "Fine, you can be my partner."

"Brilliant, Evans. Okay this is the Spiral Mimbletonia lab. It says in the book that the first thing to do is to cut off all the blue flowers." Sirius said while looking over into my open book. I reach over to pick up the knife and start slicing off all the blue flowers.

"It says that we should chop off the flowers at the base of the petals while being careful not to prick ourselves on the needles because they are poisonous." As I said that last bit as my stomach did an uncomfortable turn. Ugh, poisonous needles, _exactly_ what I needed. Knowing my luck I will probably just touch the damn plant I'll get stuck in the finger. Ha, I thought to myself, just like the muggle story of Sleeping Beauty. I wonder who my Prince Philip would be to come to my rescue….

"I'll take care of that." Sirius said very quickly pulling me from my daydreams. "We wouldn't want the Head Girl to go missing in action all because of a Herbology assignment." He said as he smirked at me. I guess being on the infamously clumsy list does have its benefits. People don't tempt fate when dealing with you.

We finished the rest of the lab like that. It was a nice comfortable routine that I could definitely learn to enjoy. Which I guess is a good thing because now that I am friends with James, I will probably be spending some time with the Maurders. That is what they call themselves, The Maurders. Remus, Peter, Sirius, and James or Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs respectively. That is what they call one another. No one understands the nicknames, but everyone knows them. It probably is some secret between them.

"So, since we are done with the lab, I wanted to ask you something." Sirius said looking at me in a very direct manner.

"Sirius, you can ask me anything. I don't promise an answer to your question, but you can _ask_ anything." I teased him, doing my best to hide my curiosity. _I wonder what Sirius could want to know. _I thought to myself.

"Well, I don't want to pry into your personal life. But I have to know what you have done to Prongs because he is acting very strange. If I didn't know him better, and didn't place stock in his sanity, I would not care. But I caught him smiling at his breakfast plate this morning, and when I asked him what was up. He just looked at me and said with this strange glint in his eye "Lily Evans." So I just wanted to know what you could have done to his brain." Sirius said in a way that said that I was stupid if I refused to give him his desired information.

So I said "Well, my friendship with James Potter is not exactly classified as personal information. However, I don't have any more insight as to why James is acting that way than you do." And I truly did mean it, because I honestly have no idea as to why he might have been thinking about me. I know that I think about _him_ a lot, but that is beside the point right now.

"That is all the information that I needed, and if you honestly don't understand why he is in a daze. I am not going to be the one to tell you what is going on here. That is something for Prongs and you to work out for yourselves." Sirius said while looking at me with a look of suppressed knowledge.

"It is time to go, students. Don't forget about your assignment. See you tomorrow." Professor Sprout said while all the students started shoving their books into their bags.

"See you tomorrow, Lily."

"See you then, Sirius." As I thought about what he meant about James and Me working something out. Because when he said it, he made it sound like something really dirty. But, then again, that is Sirius Black for you.

**Authors Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I might be updating more frequently since school is out, but I make no promises.**

**Please leave a comment or suggestion.**

**Love Allison **


	5. Head's Meeting or Date?

**Author's Note: So here is the next Chapter. I finally am getting around to typing it up. Because I have this story in a notebook and I just have to find time to sit down at my computer and type, type, type. I am not a real fast typer so a chapter usually takes me about an hour to do. **

**I have decided to dedicate this chapter to all the people who have reviewed this story so far. Getting reviews from people really does make my day, because then I know that people like what I am writing. And that is really why I am doing this in the first place: To bring a happy thought to someone out there in the world.**

**Once again I do not own Lily or James Potter. I wish I did though!**

Charmed Love Chapter 5

September 7

Head's Dormitory, my bed

Supper went smoothly, not that that is really anything unusual. We were served chicken and sweet potato. A usual meal around here, nothing very special. Although I can never seem to understand how the food here at Hogwarts is always so delicious. I am a somewhat accomplished cook in my family, at least better than Petunia. I really think that I am going to miss the food when I leave. I sat by Alice and Beth. We talked about the latest issues of Witch's Weekly which Alice has been getting faithfully for the past 3 years. We were debating over the new spell to curl you hair that was featured in the issue. Beth decided that we _needed _to try it out sometime. She decided that we would all get together Saturday afternoon to try it out.

I said goodbye and headed up the stairs to the Head's Common Room. I never even knew that Hogwarts had a separate area for the Heads, but they do. I guess it is because there is just so much for us to do that they give us our own room so that we are not bothered by all the pesky, full-of-questions 1st years. Anyways, I really adore the furniture in the Head's Common Room, decorated in all Red and Gold since both of us are in Gryffindor. There are leather chairs that are so spacious that you can sit with your back against one arm and your feet over the other, comfortably. The cherry wood table is the perfect size to fit all of our papers and books that we will need this year. There is also a sofa that is right across from the fire which in the evenings crackles merrily. And probably my favorite part, a window seat that is perfect for sitting in and reading.

I had already finished my homework. It was not really that difficult and Alice, Beth, and I worked out the harder point together in the library that afternoon. So since I had nothing else better to do, I decided to read one of the Twilight books that I brought with me to school. I decided to start at the beginning so I picked up Twilight and walked over to the window seat. I had just finished reading the part where Edward invites Bella to come to Seattle with him when I heard some footsteps. I looked under down under the bottom edge of the book and saw a pair of feet standing in front of me.

"Hey, Lily. So how was your first week of school?" James asked while leaning against the wall directly to the right of where I was sitting. We hadn't really gotten much chance to talk all week because we were always busy doing other stuff.

"Oh, hello James." I said as I placed my bookmark in my spot and shut the book carefully. I did know where I was, but I don't want to have to go looking for it later. "I got loaded down with homework this week, I think are teachers are trying to murder us by overdose of schoolwork. I had a lab with Sirius today. It was fine; he is a really good partner because he actually participated. He saved me from a possible poisoning." I tried to say as nicely as possible, but I really wanted to get back to my book.

"Yeah, Sirius did mention that he did a lab with you. He said that you looked kind of out of it during class. I guess it was lucky for you that he was there otherwise you would have ended up injuring yourself." James said with a knowing smile on his face. He of all people would now how clumsy I can be.

"It is a good thing that Sirius was there because that probably would have been my first trip to the hospital wing." I said blushing scarlet in my embarrassment over talking about my ability to cause disaster with none other than James Potter. "How was your first week?" I asked in an attempt to show an interest in his life. I was actually interested, but I would never admit that out loud. Ever, because someone could get the wrong idea and think that I might fancy him, which I don't.

"My day was really very interesting. Nothing like your near-death experience to be sure, I just had a lot of things to look at and remember." He said as he smiled mischievously with this twinkle in his hazel eyes that one only receives when one is laughing as something inside. "However, I couldn't follow what Professor Slughorn was saying in Potions today. I guess I had a lot on my mind."

I had a lot on my mind too. Not the least of which had been him sitting behind me staring at the back of my head. I could literally feel his eyes on me. It was not an overly unpleasant feeling, but it did succeed in making me very self-conscious. However I couldn't say that to anyone, let alone _him._ So I just said. "Oh so did I. But at least he was only talking about the Polyjuice Potion, nothing new so you don't need to worry about getting the information from someone else."

"That's good because I was really out of it. To change the topic, we need to set up a time and place to have our first _official_ head's meeting." James said looking at me suddenly very serious, as if my answer was very important.

"I guess we should have it as soon as possible. So maybe we should have it tomorrow, her, after supper around seven thirty. I don't think that that should be a problem for either of us." I suggested.

"Fine with me Lily. So it's a date, then." He said smiling at me, all former seriousness completely gone from his face.

"It is not a real date. It is just a set aside amount of time in which you and I will meet to discuss our ideas for this semester." I said as indifferently as I could manage even though my heart started beating a mile-a-minute at the word date connected with James. I really hope that my cheeks did not flush due to my accelerated pulse because that would have been super embarrassing.

"Call it what you want, but the simple fact remains that I'm a guy and you are a girl. We have a scheduled place to meet, only the two of us. For my experience that sounds like a date. A very _interesting_ date, but a date none the less." He said while leaning over me staring into my green eyes like he was trying to get me to understand this fact and to accept it as the truth.

I was stunned. That was the only word that I can think of to describe how I felt. I was utterly stunned. It was like I was trapped in his eyes. Even if I had had the brain function and control to look away I would not have been able to do so. His eyes are the most perplexing color. Just a hint of brown around the edges of his otherwise blue-green eyes. But the thing that was most perplexing was that there were sparkles of gold in those eyes. Almost like I had not really seen them there, constantly daring me to look closer to see if it was really there. I could and would have stared into his eyes happily for the next century, if only I could determine if the golden specks were really there.

He very slowly leaned in even closer. So wonderfully close that I could even smell him. He smelled like vanilla with just a bit of cinnamon mixed in for good measure. In other words, he smelled wonderful.

Then, as if my senses were not already in overdrive and my brain and not already shut off, he leans in and very gently kisses my cheek. His lips were soft and warm. It was actually enjoyable having him kiss me. A really sweet gesture coming from James Potter, and really unexpected.

Slowly, I felt his lips brush over my cheekbone over to my ear. I heard but more felt him exhale into and over my ear, sending shivers down my spine. He was so very close to me just then, and wow he smelled even better. But that was probably because it was coming directly from his neck. I closed my eyes to I could concentrate on his smell so that I could remember it. He whispered in my ear. "I will see you tomorrow for our date. Goodnight, Lily Evans." He said pulling back just far enough so that I could see him wink at me before he turned to leave.

I sat there for another few minutes just trying to bring my heart rate and breathing back down to normal, for they were coming so fast the my head was spinning.

James Potter had asked me out for a date.

I had said yes.

James Potter had kissed me on the cheek, and I had enjoyed it.

I believe that it is safe to say that I do not dislike James anymore. It is safe to say that I like, not _really_ like James.

Bloody Hell. I like James Potter.

**Author's Note: So there it is. Lily has finally admitted it to herself. **

**Please review and/or give me feedback on this chapter. I want to know what you think. What you enjoyed or didn't like. Or really anything in general.**

**All comments are greatly appreciated**

**Love Allison**


	6. All Gone Wrong

**Author's Note: Sorry it has been more than a week since my last update. I went out of town to Joliet, Illinois with my church so I have not been home for the last week. I really enjoyed writing me last chapter so I hope that you all had fun reading it. So here is my next chapter. **

Charmed Love Chapter 6

September 8

Lunch

Well, I really don't know what I was thinking a day ago. My only possible conclusion was that when I had fallen down earlier that day I must have hit my head somehow. But I know now that I definitely do not fancy James Potter. At all! I am not sure if I even have any kind, civil feelings towards that boy.

Ugh, Men! You can't live with them. Hate to think that I physically would not be here if a man had not been involved, so I mean that in the most literal sense. But I think that I could comfortably live without them most of the time. I do grudgingly concede that when they act like idiots (which is about 85% of the time!) that they are indeed fun to laugh at. But other than providing for the occasional amusement, I don't understand why God had to create them.

You are now probably wondering what could have possibly happened yesterday that could make me so vehemently dislike the male population of the entire freaking world. Well, let me tell you, James Potter is what happened.

I went through the day of the "date" very excited about it. I couldn't wait to see James again. He was almost like a drug to me. When he was around I felt happy and content. And when he was somewhere else all I could think about was where he was and when I might see him again. That day was the longest I have experienced in a long time. I changed my mind many times about what I would wear. I finally decided that I was going to wear my green polo shirt and new jean skirt that I had picked up before I had come to Hogwarts that year. I was going to fix my hair into a French braid that Beth says looks very good on me. When I think about those thoughts it almost makes me feel sick to my stomach how obsessed I was about the whole ordeal.

Anyways, back to my story.

I had told Beth and Alice that I couldn't try out that new beauty spell with them that night because I was going to be meeting with James Potter. They had not really been paying attention to me, but when I said this both of their heads snapped to look at me faster than I would have thought possible.

They oddly enough didn't say anything very suggestive about that. So I told them, in the most matter-of-fact matter I could manage, that I might like James Potter. That didn't even earn me a ring of I-told-you-so. Alice just gave me a really big hug, while I swear I heard Beth mutter "about time" under her breath, but you can never be too sure with Beth. I then excused myself because I had not wanted to be late for my "date" with James Potter.

On the short walk to the Head's common room, I decided that if James wanted to ask me out on a official date that I was going to say yes to him. "After all a date is the perfect way for me to determine if I do, in fact, like him." I mumbled to myself as I reached the large wooden door.

I took a deep breath, and pushed the door open. I could not believe what I saw. I was roughly awakened to the cold, hard reality that James Potter is a womanizer. I heard the rumors, but I like to think that I am above believing everything that is said in a rumor, but could no longer ignore that fact. For what I saw was James standing by our, no _the_ window seat with this tall, leggy, strawberry blonde woman plaster to his body.

_Note: My nerves were already stretched bowstring taunt. Witnessing this scene literally made my reasoning snap and flee my body._

"What the bloody hell do you think that you are doing here, James Potter?" I said probably louder than was actually necessary, but I am not sure that I had much control over myself at that point. I also know that I makes me seem really pathetic, but whenever I am really angry or embarrassed, I start to cry. I could already feel the salt start to burn my eyes.

"Lily!" James said in a startled voice. He obviously had not realized that it was so close to 7:30, otherwise he would not have been kissing what's-her-face. "This is not what you think it is, Lily."

"It is exactly what I think it is. What else could it possibly be?" I asked my voice cracking twice. I could literally feel the tears building up in my eyes. "And I am really disappointed because I never had believed the rumors, and I had figured that if they were true that you had finally changed. Well, I guess that I was wrong. For not believing those rumors and then for thinking that you could ever grow up. You really had me fooled. I fell for all of it." The truth of my words hit me in the chest like a wrecking ball. I realize I had fallen for James Potter because otherwise it would not feel like my heart had just been ripped out and tossed on the floor.

"Lily, please let me explain…" James started to say, looking really annoyed that I was jumping to conclusions that he felt were wrong. He was walking towards me, but I didn't want to be within 35 feet of him.

"Stay away from me. I don't want to talk to you, I don't know if I can talk to you. I really thought that you had changed, that you had the compassity to change. I guess that I was just chasing after moonbeams with that hope. I seems so me that you can't change." I said at the point of hysterics. Damn, I was starting to cry. Why did God curse me with the inclination to cry when I am very angry? It just really makes me feel pathetic.

"Lily," James started to say again. He was probably just trying to tell me that I was wrong and that it was not his idea to be kissing that girl. A tale that under different circumstances I might have believed. James is much too available for his own good.

"I have to go." I said in a strangled voice because I was determined not to let him see me lose all control and start sobbing in front of him, which I knew was going to happen tonight. Most girls, like maybe Alice or Beth, would be able to sweep out of the room without tripping and hurting themselves or anything around them. I, unfortunately, am not like most girls, so when I was 'sweeping' out of the room, I bumped into a table. This caused a tray of crackers and 2 glasses of pumpkin juice to splatter all over the floor.

My initial reaction was that he had been ready, even over-prepared, for our date/meeting. Maybe he had been waiting for me when whoever-she-is came in and cornered him. Maybe he was not lying- No brain, stop it right there. You are right, and James is lying. Don't get your hoped up over the impossibility that James was telling the truth.

I was about to pick up the mess when I thought, "Why should I." Right now it was just another unfriendly reminder of what might have been.

I left the mess and walked out of the room. I went straight up to my bed and sat down on the edge. I had to move my copy of Twilight off of the bed, so I threw it unceremoniously to the floor. Right now I did not want to read about all of the romantic moments that I knew to be in there. It was just another painful reminder that this evening had been horrible. I had made the mistake of falling for James Potter, and now I was dealing with the consequences.

Now I was going to focus on me, the things that I wanted for me and no one else.

Get the Best grades of the year. (I'll beat you Potter, if it is the last thing that I do)

Become an auror so I can kick stupid Voldemort's ass.

Hand out with my friends as much that is possible

Find a way to perform My Head Girl duties without talking to Potter at all or as little as possible. (Not sure how well this is going to work out, but I have to give it a try)

Lastly, but probably the most important… Forget James Potter.

Before I went to sleep that night I heard from downstairs "I can't believe that everything could be ruined in on night.

I agree, Potter.

I _completely_ agree.

**Author's Note: Okay probably sake to say that this chapter was not what you had been expecting. But after I had written that last chapter I thought that I might have been moving too fast. I originally had not even planned to have James kiss her in that last chapter, but when I had gotten to that moment it just seemed to perfect. But then I realized that I wanted them not to get together quite so fast, so I had to write this chapter. I pained me to do so, but I thought for the sake of the story that I had to.**

**Sorry if I had you hopes up after that last chapter.**

**Please review, I want to know your thoughts. They mean more to me than gold.**

**Love Allison**


	7. Buzz, Buzz

**Author's Note: Okay so Lily and James are now not really on speaking terms. Which I knew I needed to do, but it was painful for me to do. I really love writing James into the story because I always never know what he is going to do next. (which does happen, sometimes I will sit down with my notebook and have no idea about what I want to happen, and then I will think of something for James to say or do, and poof I have a chapter) So considering the fact that James is not really going to be in the next 3 chapters, they are considerably shorter. But know that it will only be about 3 or so chapters without him. I have 3 originally written but I may decide to add another one in. It might happen with the right inspiration, but that would be created with just me sitting at the computer and formulating as that extra chapter would not be in my notebook.**

**So here starts the part that all my friends call the depressing interlude….**

Charmed Love Chapter 7

September 15

Bed – Waking Up

_Buzz, Buzz_

Ugh. I really don't want to get up for school.

_Buzz, Buzz_

Really there is just nothing that is going to happen that could possibly excite me in my present state of mind.

_Buzz, Buzz_

I wonder if my teacher would let me take a personal day. I am sure that they take those all the time, when they are not feeling very good themselves. Why can't students do the same thing? Life is just so unfair. And yes, I know, who ever said life was fair. Well, I say that life _should_ be fair.

_Buzz, Buzz_

Damn, Alarm Clock! Why must it wake me to another painfully slow, agonizing boring day of school?

_Buzz, Buzz_

Why is it that you can never find the stupid snooze button when you really need it? But whenever you are trying to turn off your alarm clock you hit that button instead of the one that turns it off. These are the questions that keep me up at night.

_Buzz, Buzz, Buzz, Buzz!!!!_

Alright, alright. You win you stupid alarm clock. I am getting up, seeing as I am not going to be getting anymore sleep with you buzzing every 5 seconds.

Here goes another day of school.

Why must it even happen?

**Author's Note: This chapter is really short so I may even just update later today, seeing as I have no life. And I live just to post chapters, and getting reviews from all of you people who are reading this. (Hint, hint)**


	8. Ancient Runes

**Author's Note: I just want to thank all of you who have reviewed my story. It really means so much to me that you take the time to tell me what you think about what I am writing. Anyways here comes part 2 of the "depressing interlude." **

**I also wanted to do the stupid disclaimer thing…So here it goes….I do not own James or Lily or any of the other characters directly taken from the best-selling series Harry Potter. I really wish that I did own them because I would totally have written the series about them instead.**

**Enjoy the nest chapter. Sorry about it being so short. Like I said without James they are just not as much fun to write.**

Charmed Love Chapter 8

September 15

Ancient Runes

The key for getting through these monotonous days at Hogwarts is to just stay really busy. I find that when you are activity doing something it leaves little time to daydream. Because when you are day dreaming you have no control over what you think about. So therefore if I leave little time to have free time, I will not be able to think about _other things_, and in my current state of mind I believe that would prove very disastrous.

I have not spoken to Potter since that night, and as far as I am concerned, I never intend to talk to him again. You probably think that that will be very difficult for nothing other than our being Head Boy and Head Girl. So I think that I should probably amend that statement. I never intend to talk to Potter about anything that is, or could be remotely considered, a personal topic. So if I will ever have to be his partner in a lab for a class. (And if there is a God out there please do not let this happen. I really don't think that I have the ability to handle that.) Or if we had to have another meeting, but I think that the irony of doing so would probably kill me.

Doesn't my outlook concerning life just look, peachy? *insert sarcasm here*

"Miss Evans, do you need a personal invitation to join the class. Or do I need to take that book away from you, so that you will finally pay attention in my class, where it belongs?" Professor Smittey said snarkily glaring at me from over his coke-bottle glasses. "You of all people should know that you need to pay attention seeing as this is you weakest subject."

Oh My God. Now do you see why I hate his guts so much? I can't believe that he just basically told the whole class that I suck at translating Runes. I have decided that I should ask the girl next to me for help, because she gets really good grades, and I am sure that she hates him too.

"Hey, where are we in this book." I said as I pulled my book out of my bag. "I lost my page marker, and I have no clue at all where we are in this pointless lecture." I said with a smile that at least I hope was friendly. I have not been in the best mood and right now I was not feeling particularly cheerful.

"We are on page 562, at the top of the page. Don't worry about missing anything important, he has just been going on and on about why it is important to identify the region in which it was located in order to correctly translate it. Nothing very new, you can borrow my notes if you want." She said casually leaning over to point it out in her textbook.

"Thanks a whole bunch. You are truly a lifesaver. I really just don't understand this at all, maybe that it because I don't really see how this is going to be useful in my later studies." I said as I moved her notebook so that I could start copying her notes. "By the way my name is Lily, Lily Evans." I added because I don't think that we had ever been properly introduced.

"I knew that, but I am guessing that you told me that because you don't know who _I am._" She said while giving me a knowing smile to answer to the sheepish smile that I was giving her. "My name is Vanessa, Vanessa Philips, but all my friends call me 'V'; I really don't know how it got started, but it's kind of catchy so I kept it.

I could tell very quickly that we were going to become fast friends. Vanessa is just one of those people who are just really bubbly, and really comfortable in their own skin. I think that I almost envy her for that reason, because sometimes I wish that I could just throw caution in the wind.

We started talking and I thank my lucky starts that I had found her because she was going was going to make my classes in Ancient Runes somewhat better. I got the notes from Vanessa. Her notes are just so much easier to understand as opposed to Smittey's nonsensical rantings.

It was blissful talking to Vanessa because nothing we talked about could in any way have anything to with Potter. Beth has finally got to the point where she doesn't feel the need to _constantly _bring him up in conversation. Alice, on the other hand, has not as yet grasped the concept that I don't care to hear anything about Potter. She doesn't understand that it doesn't bother me in the slightest if James has not smiled in the past week or so. That every other class period he just does not show up. (Which I have to say I have wondered about too, since he was not sick on said occasion.) That it doesn't bother me if Sirius Black and Remus Lupin have been glaring at me for the past few days.

Alice also had the nerve to point out that even _I _have been acting different. She says that always, a few minutes into class, I look over to where he is sitting or his empty seat. That I then proceed to look over there ever five minutes. Almost as if when he is not there that if I look over there enough times maybe, just maybe, he will show up.

I sure as hell don't know what she could possibly be talking about. I _do not_ check to see if James Potter is at class or not. I think that she must be imagining things.


	9. Meeting My Year List see Ch 1

Charmed Love Chapter 9

September 28

Lunch

Really I do not know why my friends think that there is something wrong with me. I personally don't feel any different from how I did last week to a month ago. I really think that I am completing my what I hope to accomplish for this school year list. I even told them that I had a list of things that would get me through this year. To which they only laughed at me and said "Only you Lily would do something as pointless as that." After I said every one of the items on my list they then proceeded to explain how I had not accomplished that item.

I have been paying attention in all of my classes this year. I have taken the most diligent notes, and quite frankly I answer the most questions. But my friends really think that my academics have been failing. Alice once again pointed out the whole looking-at-James-Potter's-empty-seat-every-ten-minutes-thing. I personally think that I don't even do that. I will admit that I check at the beginning of every class, but doesn't _everyone _do that. Don't most people check to see who is at the class when they first get into the room? To which Alice replied that I _always stop_ looking around the room (which she said that she personally disagrees with the everyone statement, and she think that I just look for him) when I come across his desk. But what that has to do with my school work, I really don't know. To which she sighed, rolled her eyes, and muttered something under her breath that sounded like _to stubborn for her own good._

Next, I mentioned the whole eating breakfast every morning. Beth laughed for a whole minute after I told her that this was on my list. I tried to explain that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and that I sometimes forget to have it which makes me lose focus in class. Then she said "The fact that you felt compelled to _include it _on my list was just a sad statement on my life. That why I felt the need to add it said that I was seriously suffering from memory loss, because she said that eating breakfast should just go without saying." I told her that I have kept this one seeing that I eat something every morning for breakfast. Then she told me that my piece of toast with jam on it does not count as a full meal when lots of other food it there to eat.

The next thing on my list is the one about not staying up all night reading the twilight books. This one I can say without a doubt that I have kept without a problem. I have not read anything in those books since, well I don't know when. I just have not been in the mood to read about fictional character falling in love against all odds, even nature. That type of plot line has not been favorable to my moods for a few weeks. To which Vanessa just snorted and said that if the only reason I have not read those books is in my mood; she understands because I have not been exactly happy-go-lucky lately. But also that I have not been up all night for _other reason _is entirely my fault, and commented on how long I can hold a grudge if I set my mind to it. That statement caused my cheeks to blush scarlet and my mouth to fall open. Because No One but Beth would have had the Nerve to say something that suggestive to me. No, I take that back. So far in my friendship with anyone has someone said something that suggestive to me.

The next thing on my list was the one about wearing flat shoes. I told them that this really is a necessity for me because I am horribly clumsy and wearing shoes with heals would not be good for my balance. They said that they could not really argue with the necessity that I include this on my list. But they also jokingly pointed out that I have managed to get into a few accidents without the help of wearing shoes with any heal to speak of. To which I just gave them my best did-you-really-have-to-say-that glare.

I told them that I have done all my homework this year for every subject. I have not even handed an assignment late, but I didn't tell them that because it really wasn't necessary. They said that this really didn't surprise them because it seems that my passion is doing my school work. That I really have nothing else better to do at night (Vanessa said that part) so that I might as well get something accomplished.

I didn't mention the last thing on my list because I knew that I had done that one with no problem at all. I have managed to ignore Potter with such dedication and effort it could have been an Olympic sport. I have not talked to him in weeks. I don't have any reason to talk to him during the day. He hangs out with his mates while I spend my time with my friends. We don't see each other in the evening because he has been staying out really late doing God knows what, and I have been up in my room every night by 10:00 trying my best to fall asleep. Even though I know it is hopeless because I never fall asleep until I hear movements from downstairs which can only mean that James Potter has decided to head in for the night. I can't explain even to myself why this happens. I doesn't make any rational sense, and I really don't think I care to know the answer if my self-conscious has anything to do with it. We have even managed to not have to talk to complete our heads duties. He just takes care of all of the scheduling for the patrols and I take care of everything else: meetings, making sure people follow the rules, and that sort of stuff.

So I personally think that I have been following my list of how I am going to survive this year. It's just too bad that I didn't think to include anything that I could do to make the school day go by any faster.

But I guess that life is just not always perfect.

A fact that I know very well.

**Author's Note: This entry was not originally in my notebook. It still is not in my notebook because I like to keep everything in order and I am way past where this entry would be in my notebook. So this one I just typed when I sat down at my computer today. It really is just a filler chapter because I wanted to be able to push more of the dates back without have it seem that she went a month without writing. Just want to say that the Depressing Interlude is just one more part of a chapter! James will be back, sort of, by the end of the next chapter.**

**I personally am very excited about this. I don't know about you, but James is my personal favorite. Don't get me wrong, I love Lily like she was a real person, but she is just not **_**James.**_

**If you get my meaning.**

**Please review and let me know what you think.**

**Love Allison**


	10. Turning Around

**Author's Note: Guess what?? I am sure that you are all excited about this because God knows that I certainly am. James Potter is back in my story in the flesh and blood! I have been waiting for this moment since I felt obliged to take things back a couple of notches. Because let's face it, having James kiss her on only the 1****st**** week of school. Things were moving way, **_**way**_** too fast. So here it is the end of the Depressing Interlude.**

**I do not own Lily Evans or James Potter. I really wish that I did, though.**

Charmed Love Chapter 10

October 3

Head's Common Room, in the big comfy chair in front of the fire

Another Day is done. Thank Goodness! I have waited for my last year to come at Hogwarts. Sometimes I thought that it would never come and other times it felt like time was moving way too quickly. I just never expected to want it to just be all over with. Some people, including Beth's boyfriend Eric, think that it is just because I am staying so busy. That I need to just take the time to relax and smell the roses. But he just doesn't realize that it is dangerous for me to relax because then I might let my mind wander to rather unpleasant things….

I forget to mention that Beth has a boyfriend. It is not new for one of us, mostly Alice, to have a boyfriend. Just that Beth seems to really like him and care what he thinks. You may have notices that Beth is not one to really care what people think of her. That philosophy has gone completely out of the window where Eric is concerned. She pays much more attention to if she thinks that she might be doing something dorky. I am really hoppy for her, though. I think that he is a good guy. I personally don't know that much about him, but I suppose that if he is good enough for Beth he should be good enough for me too. My favorite part about him is that he does not try to monopolize all of her time. He realizes that we were her friend first and that we should still get to spend time with her, without him being there. So I guess for now that is enough for me.

On a happier note I received my first letter from my mum and dad. I had written them when I first arrived telling them that I had once again arrived safely. Most people would assume that I am not going to encounter anything problematic considering the fact that I have been doing this for six years. My mum is not, nor will ever be in that group of parents. She is not very good about letting her children go.

_Dear Lily,_

_It is just so good to hear from you already. Normally you don't write until the first month is over. Mind you I am not complaining, but I can't help but wonder what the rush is for. Actually do not tell me. I probably do not want to know. As long as I just keep getting letters I am perfectly fine with this arrangement._

_So, how is your school year coming along so far? I know that you are already at the top of the class in Charms and Potions. You do really have a natural talent in them, don't you? I can't wait to hear about all the new and exciting stuff that you are learning about this year. And I know that you are probably tired of me always telling you this, but don't let Professor Smittey get to you. I know that he is a loud mouth teacher, but he really is only trying his best. Just try to keep yourself focused on what he is trying to say, and at least __**look**__ like you are taking notes. Just find a nice person who can explain stuff to you if you get confused._

_Everything has been really quiet around the house this week. Well, except from the fact that your father has the worst head cold. He has always been my least favorite person to take care of; all he does is mope about how his head hurts. Petunia is still trying to learn how to cook. She is progressing quite nicely; we have not had a visit from the fire department all week. You have nothing to worry about; your cooking is still by far much, much better. Actually her cooking attempts have become something of entertainment for us. Take last night for example. She was making spaghetti, and she had the sauce turned up way to high on the burner. And it started to boil over the sides of the pan. It looked exactly like it does in those movie scenes, those one that we always say look so unbelievable. Poor Petunia was mortified, and you father was just standing there laughing and laughing. I really wish that you had been there to see it._

_I have to go now, Lily. I need to run into town for another box of Kleenex for you dad. Please write me back as soon as possible._

_Love, Mum_

Oh, I really do miss my mum. She is just such an all around good person. I have not laughed or really smiled in such a long time. It feels incredible nice to do so after a really long time. The thing about Petunia is funny because I thought that stuff like that only happened to me. Petunia is really very graceful, whereas I am the family's uncoordinated member_._ I really will have to write my mum back soon, bust first I should get something interesting to write home about.

I think that I am about done here. I have finished all of my homework for the next two days. I think that I am going to go upstairs. It is later than I am normally down here, almost midnight. I just was doing my homework and reading my letter, and before I knew it I was sitting in the chair re-reading my letter. I heard the door open, and I immediately froze. I knew who it was, for it could only be one other person. I don't know why it surprised me so much to see him, I was up rather late, about the time that he usually gets back here.

I realized that I could not just walk out of the room without saying _anything_ because that would just be inexcusably rude. However, I was not in the mood to start a full conversation. So I decided to keep it short. "Hi, Potter. I am finished down here. If you don't plan to hang around down here, you might as well put out the fire, seeing as no one will be using it."

He looked just as surprised to see me; let alone have me talk to him about anything. We have not spoken, let alone seen each other in little less than a month. "No, I really don't have any reason to stay up. I am going to bed. I have slept like shit for the past few weeks, and I am hoping that I might be able to catch up on some of it tonight." He looked like it too. His eyes had lost their usual sparkle. His hair was even messier than it normally is. And his glasses were also out of balance, perched on the bridge of his nose.

"It looks like you could use a good night sleep. I really do hope that you get one." I said with all the sincerity that I could muster, which was a lot. "I think that I am going to go up and read a book. That usually helps me fall asleep. See you tomorrow, Potter." I said while walking from the room.

I then brushed my hair and teeth, and put on my pajamas. Things were definitely starting to turn around. My friends were happy. (And when they are not happy, no one is happy) I had a good laugh for the first time in about a month. I was able to talk to James Potter without hating every second of it.

I was in a wholly better mood than I had been in weeks. I was in the mood for some happy ever after moments. I really am in the mood to read the rest of Twilight, I thought as I pulled it off of the ground from where it had been since I had thrown it there.

Life was definitely looking better, I thought as I get under the covers, and picked up where I had last left the Cullens.

I went to sleep that night with a smile on my face.

**Author's Note: I hope to get to update again before I go on my trip on Tuesday to St. Louis. I will not be getting home until the 18****th**** of July. So If I don't get to update again I will try to update as soon as I get back. If I can update, unfortunately it will only be one chapter.**

**But I am still so happy that James is back! Hurray! It is a cause for celebration.**

**Please Review. **

**Love Allison**


	11. Wonderful Mood

**Author's Note: Just wanted to say that this is going to be the last time that I am going to update for about two weeks. I am leaving tomorrow night for vacation and I am not getting back until about the 18 of July. I am not going to be able to see the new Harry Potter movie until I get back, and let me tell you that that is not small sacrifice. This is my favorite book, and I am hoping that they do not screw up the movie.**

**Once again, I do not own James Potter or Lily Evans. **

Charmed Love Chapter 11

October 4

Great Hall, Breakfast

I finally went to sleep last night after reading Twilight for about one and a half hours. I have not done that for a while. Actually now that I think about it; I have not stayed up that late since I was reading the series for the first time. So normally, I would have expected to feel groggy and tired in the morning. Because I try to get at least 7 hours of sleep, so that I am able to concentrate on something other than how tired I am the next day. You probably ask then why I would stay up that late. My answer, I can't seem to stop reading when I am at a really good part, and why would you _want_ to stop reading. I still have yet to find someone who likes to read as much as I do. (Admittedly that task is harder than it sounds)

So even thought I stayed up really late last night, I feel totally feel refreshed this morning. I must have fallen asleep in a good spot or something because I didn't wake up once the entire night. So when I get up this morning I am surprised by how refreshed I feel; almost like I want to go around singing show tunes. However, I did refrain from that last part. Not because I have a bad voice because my voice is better than most. I just don't know enough of the words to feel comfortable singing them around the castle.

I skipped on way to the bathroom feeling positively bright and cheery. I was in a terrific mood when I got into the shower, so I decided to use my _Lily of the Valley_ shampoo. It is my favorite scent because my mom has them growing in her garden and she calls them 'my flowers'. But I only brought two large bottles with me to school, so I am only going to use it when I feel like indulging myself. I guess that that theory must be working for me, because I have only used it once.

I dried myself off. Put on my school robes and brushed my teeth with my peppermint toothpaste. I decided to leave my hair down today so that I could air dry. Normally, I would have put my hair back in a ponytail or a messy bun, but as I said earlier, I am just in a really good mood. Plus, Beth always says that my hair looks really spectacular when I wear it down.

I quickly grabbed my school bag from the rocking chair in the corner of my room. I ruffled through it to make sure that I had everything that I was going to need. "Potions Book, Transfiguration Book, Ancient Runes Notebook, Herbology Gloves, History of Magic Book. Yes, I have everything." I smiled to myself as I quickly flew down the steps finding myself staring across the room at the one person who could ruin my good mood.

"Good morning, James." I decided that I should say something to him, hoping that my good mood would hold after a conversation with him. "How are you? Did you get that good night sleep that you wanted?" Trying my best not to look at his face, while not making the fact that I was doing so very obvious.

"I have been better, but thanks for asking. I slept fine, but not good enough to write home about. I trust that you had a pleasurable time reading last night." James said in a coolly polite manner. He was gathering his books from around the room and stuffing them into his bag. He didn't even bother to look at me when he was talking to me.

""Yeah, the book was fine. I had a great time reading last night." Trying my best to make it sound like it was really usually for me to spend the every night. Which in most cases it is, but I have not read in about a month. He, of course, doesn't know that.

"Well, it's almost time for breakfast, and I told Sirius and Remus that I would save the seats. So, I'll see you, whenever." He said finally turning to look at me. It didn't really matter that I was trying not to look at _him_; he was not looking at me either. But when he did look at me I saw that his usually sparkling eyes were hard and cold. They made me want to advert my eyes because it felt like they could slice through my soul. It was a very chilling experience.

"Yeah, I need to go see Beth and Alice. I really should talk to them about this thing that came up." I said as an excuse to get out of the room, anything to get away from those eyes. "I will see you this evening, okay?" Hoping for some strange reason that he would want to see my too.

I watched as his eyes flashed with excitement before he gained control over them once again. Almost as if his saw his eyes lighting up as some sort of weakness. Well, at least seeing rigid control in his eyes is better than seeing nothing.

"I will see you then, Lily." He said quickly as tossed his bag onto his shoulder and turned on his heel to walk purposefully from the room.

It was the first time that he had called me by my first name in a really long time. And for another crazy reason, unknown to me, my stomach did a pleasant flip flop, and my insides felt very warm at hearing him say it. I was still in my happy mood as I walked into the Great Hall and spotted Beth, Alice and Vanessa.

"Whoa," Alice said as I took my seat next to her. "Is that Lily of the Valley shampoo. What has you in such a good mood?" She asked looking conspiratorially at Beth and Vanessa as if they already knew the answer.

"I just am in a really good mood. Had a good night sleep; best one in a long time, too. Nothing _happened_ to me." I said while I filled my plate with fruit.

"Well that is very nice to hear, but you don't blame me for not believing you do you? I know you better than that." Beth said. "I bet there are other reasons, you just don't want to admit them."

I was in such a good mood that I didn't even let my friends crazy speculations bother me. I just rolled my eyes and plucked off a grape and popped it into my mouth.

I am in such a good mood; I will not let _anything_ rain on my parade.

**Author's Note: So this is it until I get back from vacation. I had had a review suggesting that I do **_**something **_**with James's POV for this story. I think that I might be considering doing this. I think that I might be good at doing it because I really understand where James is coming from. What with liking someone that doesn't like you like that back. I think that I might call it Charming Lily but I don't think that I will be writing that anytime soon. Because Charmed Love definitely takes the priority. **

**So until I get back…..Please once again Review.**

**Love Allison**


	12. Sirius's Suggestions

**Author's Note: I am finally back. Actually I got back last night, but I was just too tired to type out a whole new chapter so I just went to read more and went to bed. However, now I am back and I am ready to write some more. **

**Once again I do not own James or Lily Potter and in the case of this chapter, I do not also own Sirius Black. They belong to J.K. Rowling.**

Charmed Love Chapter 12

October 4

Herbology

The day is almost over, and I am still in a really good mood. I really like this mood that I am in. For example if given the choice to change my mood to any other mood in the world I do not think that I would change a thing. Even my friends must be enjoying it because other than that one time this morning Alice and Beth have not made any more "relationship" innuendos about me and a certain guy. Don't give me that blank look; I know that you know who I am talking about.

Even Ancient Runes was bearable today, as opposed to its usual feel like that of scraping a cheese grater against my forehead. Vanessa and I were passing notes about what quizzes we wanted to do over the weekend because Alice just got her new copy of Witch Weekly.

So really I have not had anything happen that could have put a really black spot on my day. I mean I am really hungry for supper but this is the last class of the day. You are _supposed _to feel hungry by now. Actually I think that I will compose a list of all the things that are making me happy right now.

_Had a restful night sleep. That is important for everyday happiness, I should think._

_Read more in the Twilight Saga. I know that it makes me seem like a huge nerd, but reading a really good book of story can really brighten up your day. Plus, I have not felt like reading in a long time so it is refreshing._

_I used my Lily of the Valley shampoo this morning. And that can make a day perfect right then and there._

_I had waffles this morning with Strawberry jelly the best flavor in the entire world._

_Beth's in a good mood because of Eric. They have not gotten to the point where it is embarrassing to be around them yet. But I guess that if she is happy then I just should be happy too._

_Alice received her copy of Witch Weekly like I mentioned earlier. We plan to spend the weekend looking through it and that always provides for lots of girl moments and laughing._

_Charms and Potions were really easy, or maybe it is just that I didn't have any trouble understanding what was going on in them._

_In Transfiguration we had to change a watermelon into a banana and I even managed to do it without any (okay minimal) mistakes._

_Ancient Runes was bearable. However, I am beginning to think that that might have to do with Vanessa to help me and to suffer through it with me._

_I did not even get loaded down with homework. Actually I think that I got less than usual which is weird because today is Friday and they always give more homework before a weekend._

_James called my Lily for the first time in a really long time. I still have not forgiven him for what happened. I don't know if I will ever be able to forgive him, but right now I just want to pretend like it never happened. I just need to know that I can be impartial to him and try to be civil to him. So I guess given light to these things it doesn't make sense that I would include it on my list. I can only say that it left my with this strange feeling that I am translating into happiness. Because I have no desire to find out what else it could be._

_I have only fallen, tripped, or bumped into about six things today. This for me is really good considering the fact that the number is normally at twenty or so._

_The weather is really very nice today. The sun is sparkling and the grass is still holding onto the vibrant green from summer. I know that the winter is coming and I do enjoy the snow, the whiteness, but I don't want to lose the color just yet._

_I really cannot think of anything else to add on this list of what it making this day great. I know that there are probably many more, I just can't think of them right now. So I guess that I should just end my list and start paying attention to what Professor Sprout is saying…_

"With your partners, please make your outline for your collaborative essay on everything that you know about lumendela." Professor Sprout said while walking over to her desk to sit down.

Unfortunately we are working with our partners and mine is Sirius Black. I have not really talked to Sirius since the "incident" with James. I wasn't sure how to talk to him given the fact that I had called his friend a jerk to put it mildly. I figured that it would make things awkward between us, so I have not tried to start a conversation.

"So Sirius, where should we start with this essay? Personally I think that we should start with the outline because it helps to organize your thoughts, but I suppose that, if you wanted, we could do it a different way." I said making my best attempt at being friendly and calm. Although my hands were sweating like crazy.

"Yeah, that would be fine with me, Lily." He said curtly barely turning to regard me. I could tell that this was going to be a long class period. Considering the fact that my partner was going to be difficult.

I decided that it would be best if I outwardly ignore his tone and manner and act like nothing was off. "Okay, we should get started then," I said while fumbling in my bad for some spare parchment, quills, and ink. Hopefully we can finish this essay quickly so that I won't have to endure too much of this,

We continued on like this until we were done. I was working industriously: taking notes, finishing the outline, and trying to be cheerful. While Sirius, on the other hand, continued to be snippy with me and refused to help lighten the tension between us.

When we were finally done, I had had enough of it. Why the hell was Sirius being so incredibly cold with me? I don't think that I had done anything to annoy him.

So I said, "Sirius, I do not know what your problem is today. I have given you no reason to be cross with me. You are acting like I just blurted out you darkest secrets and is now just standing around laughing, which I most certainly have not. So, what is your problem?" I tried to control my anger not letting him put damper on this my happiest day in a long time.

"How can you have the nerve to ask me that, Lily? How can you expect me to be mice to you after what you did?" Sirius replied not even bothering to look at me when he said it.

"I don't have any Idea what you are talking about. Please enlighten me so that I can join the club of knowing about it." I demanded looking at him determined to get some answers as to why he was acting like a complete ass.

"You _bloody well_ know what you did. Or perhaps you have been able to move on you forgot what you said to James. He is after all my best mate. You really think that I have not noticed his melancholy attitude, or haven't you noticed. I know that it was you who changed his mood. It could only have been you; you are the only one who could affect him like this. I want to know what happened to him, and I want to know now. What have you done to James?" He said finally looking at me to meet my glare with one of my own.

Was that what this was all about? I felt my face flush with color as I thought about what James could have been telling his friends. I had not considered that before. Did he tell him that we were finally friends? Probably yes, he was too excited about that to keep it in most likely. Did he tell them about the "date" we set up, or the kiss he gave me on that moonlit window seat? Oh, God! I hope not.

"What happened between James Potter and me is none of your business. But if you must know what happened, happened because James has not changed at all. He lied through his teeth. He led me to think that our meeting might mean something." I could feel the salt start to burn in my eyes; I could not believe that I was going to cry. "That he didn't intend to kiss that girl. That it was all just a misunderstanding, and that I was jumping to the wrong conclusions." I felt my prior calm slither like sand through a sieve. I really just wish that Sirius could just tell that this was not something that I could talk about.

"Lily, did you ever give him a chance to explain himself. From what I have heard and what I can guess about James's side, it sounds like you just assumed that you knew the whole story. Really Lily, you need to talk to him, and let him explain what happened." Sirius said in a calmer voice.

I let out a sigh. That did sound all nice when you talk about it almost picturesque. Actually doing it on the other hand would be something else entirely. How would I even go about bringing it up? It is not like the incident just happened a few days ago. I can't just walk up and be all "Hey, how is it going? Want to get some pumpkin juice in the great hall while we talk about who you may or may not have intentionally kissed in the last month. Wow, Great ice breaker there." I thought sarcastically to myself.

"I don't know why I should. The whole situation that we are in is entirely his fault and his fault alone. He knew that we had a date-of-sorts that nig-" was all I managed to get out before Sirius interrupted me with his mumblings.

"Wow, it would have been nice to know that little detail James." He muttered to himself just loud enough for me to hear what he was saying. "The situation is more complicated than I originally thought what with the admittance of the _date-of-sorts _you two had. You, Lily Evans, have a thing for my best mate. Didn't see that –"

It was now my turn to interrupt him. "I have not, currently have, or plan to have any romantic feelings concerning James Potter. I don't know why Beth, Alice, Vanessa, and you would think that I fancy James Potter. You all really need to work on your people reading skills." I said with slightly more force than I had planned for.

"Lily, I can see you are not ready to talk about something as new to you are your feelings towards Prongs. But let me ask you one more thing. Do you miss being able to talk to him? Feeling comfortable being within fifty feet of him? Going about your Head Girl duties not trying to find ways to avoid him? In short, do you miss being his friend?" Sirius said quietly.

"Sirius I-" I didn't realize until that moment that the answer to every single one of those questions was yes. The force of that knowledge was enough to stop my mind in its tracks. No matter how much he might make me angry and annoyed; I really missed being James's friend. "I do miss being his friend." I admitted softly looking at Sirius for help. "I just don't know if there is anything that I can do to fix this?"

"You are both extremely smart people, but in this case just _shut off_ your brain. Just go with what feels right, and everything will work out between the both of you. I can tell that you both really miss being something in the other's life." He said with an accomplished look on his face. "You will think of something to do, I just know it."

The class was over.

"See you on Monday Sirius, if not before. Thanks for all of your help even if at the beginning you were acting like a jerk. But I will think of something to make things better between James and me." I said while packing up my stuff.

As I walked out of the room, I knew that I had a job to do.

I was going to fix my friendship with James Potter.

**Author's Note: So this chapter is a long one, I hope that you enjoyed it. And I know that some of you might be anxious, but James will get to tell his story in the next chapter. I promise! Anyways I hope that you enjoyed it because I really loved writing it. I knew that Lily would need some help going in the direction that I wanted the story to go in. She needed someone to tell her to fix things with James, and I thought that Sirius would be perfect.**

**Once again, please review, I want to know what you all are thinking as you read my chapters.**

**Love Allison**


	13. What Really Happened

**Author's Note: Okay, I decided to just post this chapter. I am really kind of nervous, because I had asked one of my guy-friends to read it and tell me if James' actions are guy-like. But said guy-friend in question has not gotten back to me. I am just giving up on him. I sent him the story before I went on vacation, and he must A) really have hated it and just is too polite to tell me to my face that he doesn't like it. B) He is the slowest reader in the history of the written record. C) He forgot to write me back about what I asked him to do. Or D) never read it in the first place. But I just could not wait any longer to post this next chapter. I really love this chapter, and I hope that you will too.**

**I still do not own James Potter or Lily Evans.**

Charmed Love Chapter 13

October 4

Sitting on my bed in my dorm room

That was not as horrible as I thought that it was going to be. You know when you get so nervous about something that your brain just starts to spin out all these possible outcomes that are way worse than anything that could possibly happen. Yeah, that is what I was going through not six or so hours ago. So really maybe all I can say is that it was just suppose to happen, find of like it was _fated, or something_. I know it sound really cheesy, but that is just the only way I can think of how to describe it.

Well, whatever the reason or the result of actions later; it does not alter the fact that when I walked out of the Herbology Greenhouse with my firm resolve. Some (_okay most)_ of that confidence faded out into the chilly October air.

It is all easy and good to say that I am going to fix my friendship with a guy that for the past month I have tried my hardest to avoid. The same guy that before we were friends, I hated with a fiery, burning passion. However, the actual fixing of said relationship is something else entirely.

So, with my thoughts in a turmoil, I walked across the grounds into the Great Hall for dinner. I quietly take my seat next to Alice and across from Beth. Vanessa doesn't always sit with us for the fact that she still likes to hang out with her older friends, which we are totally fine with. I barely manage a hello when Alice moved over to make room for me. Beth didn't say a thing, I am actually not entirely sure that she even _noticed_ me. Which I know she didn't do on purpose because she was sitting next to Eric the object of her attention.  
I really hope that everything works out for Beth. I can see just by looking at her that she is in love with him, or at least very close to being there. And I know that Beth of all people laughs at the notion of meeting the love of your life at the age of 17. And just between us, I know that she would be heartbroken if they did ever break up, even though she would never admit to it, being all I-am-woman-hear-me-roar.

Looking at them made me think about James who effectively pulled me back into my thoughts and musings. I think that I really did miss talking to him. "Oh, God." I thought to myself. You know your life has taken a miserable turn on your part when Sirius Black starts giving out relationship advice that actually makes sense.

I don't _believe_ myself. After everything that has happened between James and I, there is still the possibility that I don't fully understand my feelings for him. I just needed answers and then maybe I could put the sting behind me.

So I continued eating my meal while I only half listen to what Beth and Alice are talking about, something to do with shoes, I think. I was not really paying attention to anything that was going on around me. I thought about joining the conversation, but then decided against it. That is the problem with having really close friends who understand you so well. They know instantly when things are wrong, and there was _no way_ that I could talk to them about what was bothering me without losing the last bit of confidence that I had. I just needed to think about what the hell I was going to do later that night.

I probably should not have done it, but I really needed to see how he was, and what his mood was. So I could better gage how my inquiries would be accepted, and possible the offer of being friends again.

I looked down the table to find the usual spot that The Maurders sat. He was talking to Remus with his back turned to me. I almost just gave up seeing how it was pointless looking over there when he was not even looking in my direction. Until, Remus must have seen me looking over at James because he leaned over, I assume, to tell James that I was looking at him. His back straightened ever so slightly, so slightly that had I not been watching him so intently, I would have missed it.

Finally he turned to face me as one might view something that they are trying to ignore; like I could not do anything that would affect him in any way. As though he was just looking at me so that I would stop looking at him, and to not seem overly and outwardly rude.

I almost lost all of my feeble resolve by that look. Because by that look said it seemed that he didn't care one way or the other about me. I guess that any speculation that any onlooker might have had about James Potter's _legendary feelings for me_ would have been shattered and unquestionably revoked. I can't believe that I was thinking that he would be thinking anything else. I mean, I hadn't even talked to him for about a month, the first time being last night. "Wow, my imagination really gets away from me sometimes." I thought to myself. I can only imagine what my face must look like right now. I just really hope that it is not too red. Pink, will probably be accurate because there is no way on God's green earth that I am not blushing a little bit.

I quickly looked away feeling my face flush even redder at the embarrassment that accompanied that awkward moment. For when the chilling effect of the look wore off all I could think was, well, he looked _better_.

Not loads better, mind you, but his eyes had a small amount of their usual sparkle. Not as much as one might want to see, but definitely more than there has been in them recently. His glasses were clean and sitting straight on the bridge of his nose. However, his mouth was fixed in such a way that I could tell his teeth were clenched tightly together. That was the only thing that was out of place on his usually cheerful face.

Feeling bad for looking away from him so fast, I didn't want him thinking that I was still boiling mad at him. I wanted to fix our friendship, not hurt it further. I looked at him again, trying to keep my face from looking to anxious. I only looked for a few moments before a voice caught my attention.

"What the heck are you doing, Lils?" Beth asked me, well maybe I should say finally noticing me. I think that it is going to take mw a while before I get my head wrapped around that idea of sharing Beth. I know it makes me sound very possessive, but we have been best friends since we were seated next to each other that first day at Hogwarts. And since then we have been always together at times. I do love Alice, but I have only really been best friends with her for four years. Beth and I have been through thin, thick, and even thicker together. I just am not used to sharing her.

"Oh, nothing really important. Just looking around, seeing who is here and stuff." I replied. I knew both Alice and she knew what I was doing; Alice just chose not to bother me about it.

"Okay, you have fun with that." Beth said while looking exasperatedly at Alice. I could almost hear the chorus of _She is looking at James Potter_ that I know was going through their heads.

When I was sure that they were once again deep in conversation, I looked over at James again. He was not looking at me anymore, but I could tell by the way he was trying not to smile that he had only _just_ looked away.

I finished the rest of the meal staring at my plate only peeking up occasionally to look at him to once again assess the mood he was in. After dinner was over I said goodnight to Beth, Eric, and Alice and left for the Head's Common Room. I left quickly because I didn't want to explain what I was so flustered about. I needed to get upstairs to the bathroom so that I could wash my face.

"Okay, you can do this, Lily. Just be direct, don't start talking about something else first. As soon as he comes through the door ask him what he has to say. Then hopefully, try to forgive him because you guys need to be friends again." I said giving myself a pep talk in the mirror as I dried my face.

I decided that the best way to go about this is to just be natural. So I grabbed my copy of Twilight and headed downstairs to go sit in one of the huge armchairs in front of the fire.

I tried reading the story, but I just didn't have the patience for idle reading. Well, at lease look like you are reading so that he will not know immediately that you are waiting for him.

When I heard the door swing open, I nearly jumped out of my skin. It always happens to me like that even though I was waiting for it, expecting it even. I still jumped as if it had taken me completely by surprise.

"You still up, Lily? What are you doing up, it is nearly midnight. You never stay up this late. Is something wrong?" James asked as he walked across the room towards me after dropping his bag down at the table.

"I was…" I began. Oh, God why is it that as soon as I look into those hazel eyes that I forget what I was about to say. I took a deep breath and tried again. "I was waiting to talk to you." I just barely whispered you, totally without a clue as to how he would respond.

"Well, that is interesting. Why don't we discuss this?" He said in a, well I am not exactly sure _what _his tone was, as he leaned against the fireplace with his arms crossed in front of him. "So Lily Evans, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"I want to know what happened from your side. I want to know what your side of the story was." I said still looking into his twinkling eyes.

"What happened, when? I don't think I know the exact incident that you are referring to." He said, his mouth curving into a wicked half smile to match his flashing eyes.

"The night I came down here and found you kissing, that, that girl." I exasperatedly stated standing up from my chair. I was getting angry because he was being unnecessarily difficult, and he was _bloody enjoying it!_

"Oh, you want to hear it? Well, I will tell you the whole story. I was waiting for you. I had everything ready: the table was cleared. I had every candle in the room burning to make sure that we had enough light. I was over prepared for the first time I can even remember. And then Lucy came. She took one look around the room, and said that I was a hopeless fool. That I should just give up like a certain girl. That that girl didn't want me, would _never ever _want me. I should just give up because it was never going to change. I should just go out with her because she said that she wanted me. And then she just grabbed me, and plastered her body against me. And then, to make everything a million times worse, who should walk in but you. I understand that it must not have looked good for me. But I trusted that you, Lily Evans, to at least let me get to tell my side of the story. Instead you jump to the wrong conclusion, and storm out of the room, but not before calling me a liar. Lucy just looked up at me with a pitying expression and said that she didn't know why I even bothered. I told her to go fly up a tree, among other things. But it was too late. Out tentative friendship was shattered." James finished, speaking quickly, his eyes flashing dangerously in the firelight.

I felt really sick inside. Looking back on it I realized that I hadn't let him speak his side. I had just decided what happened in my mind and closed it to any other possibilities. He had no reason to lie to me now; he thought that he had nothing more to lose where I was concerned. I had always prided myself on being open-minded and not jumping to conclusions. I guess my only defense was that I was not thinking rationally. I had burned all of our bridges over my prejudices. I was so sick with myself right now. No wonder he was angry, he really hadn't done anything _wrong._

"James I…" I started to say, but I could not finish it. I truly did not have a clue what to say to make it better. If there is anything that one can say when they are informed that they went against their basic principles.

"Hey, listen Lily. I don't exactly blame you. I know that it did not look good for me. If I had been in your shoes, I would not have even listened to _me._" James said in a small attempt at humor. It was nice of him to try, but it only succeeded in making me feel the same, if not a little tiny bit worse about the whole stupid situation.

I knew that if I told him that I was sorry that he would forgive me without a second thought, because that is just the type of person that he is. But I was not sure if I sure if he would _really_ mean it, or if it would be enough to patch the rift that had grown between us. There was only one thing that I wanted to try. I figured that I had nothing to lose so I tried it.

I walked across over to stand in front of him. I stood there for a second before I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and buried my face in his chest. I had to calm myself, so I took a deep breath. And by doing so, I got a large concentrated smell of the vanilla and cinnamon smell that was and is uniquely him.

"I am really sorry, James. For not listening and not giving you a chance to explain what happened, but most importantly breaking up our friendship. I am sorry James." I said into his black sweater, just breathing in his heavenly smell.

He moved his hand to hold my chin between his thumb and forefinger. "Of course I forgive you. I think I actually forgave you about a week ago, only I just never got a chance to tell you." He said while looking into my eyes.

While I was still able to think semi-coherently I decided to ask the do-or-die question of the night. "Do you want to be friends again, James?" I said trying not to sound too hopeful, unfortunately I think that my eyes were giving away.

He looked into my eyes for a while before pulling me against him in a comforting hug. "I accept." He whispered in my ear sending chills down my spine.

I stood there a while longer just content to be standing in his arms. Then I decided that it was time to go because I wanted to be able to write all this down while it was still fresh in my mind. I know that I had declared that there was no way that I could forgive him after what happened. And I was wrong; I can and have forgiven him. I don't think that I will ever be able to fully forget it though. But hopefully I can tuck it away in my mind and not let it stress me for the rest of my life.

So now I am going to go to sleep because I hope that my dreams will be pleasant and peaceful.

**Author's Note: Yeah, James finally got his side of that night told. I know that some of you readers have been waiting for this chapter for a long time. I really hope that you like it. I personally really like this chapter because I just really liked that it was the first time that you really get a peek into the workings of James Potter's mind. Although if you want, soon you will be able to get a better look into his mind because I hope to post Charming A Flower, Charmed Love from James POV. I don't know if I should make it a diary or not. Dairy would be nice because then it would be so much more personal. Not, because I really do not see **_**James Potter**_** devoted enough to writing one to keep up with all the entries that I would need to have to tell the story. But I personally have a hard time imagining him having a dairy at all. But maybe that is just me.**

**Please review and tell me what you think.**

**Love Allison**


	14. Bookmark

**Author's Note: Those of you who read my story at school will be pleased to know that this is a new chapter that you have not read. And those of you who have not read this at my school, well, this will still be new anyways. I am not really sure that I like this chapter, it went in a completely different way than when I had sat down to write it.**

**Also, Happy 16****th**** Birthday Sabrina. **

**I once again do not own Lily of James Potter. **

Charmed Love Chapter 14

October 7

Breakfast

I really just did not feel like writing this weekend because I just didn't have much that went on in my life. I just spent the weekend hanging out with Vanessa and Alice going generic girl stuff. I didn't get to spend much time with Beth because she was hanging out with Eric and I just have not desire at all to hang out with those two together.

I am still not entirely sure how I personally feel and think about Eric. I mean as far as boys go, he seems pretty decent. Beth could have chosen a lot worse as far as boyfriends go at Hogwarts. Because there are some real creepers at this school that masquerade as normal people.

But as far as having to hang out with him by myself for long periods, I just really don't know him that well. I am just not sure that he is as perfect as Beth makes him out to be. But then again, that just might be me resenting him over the whole Beth issue.

I still had fun this weekend, though. Sometimes you just get the feeling that you can never get enough girl time with the people that you actually like. I thought to myself as I brushed through my hair, and fixed it up in a French braid. I spent the entire weekend leafing through magazines and just talking to the two of them. I had debated long and hard over whether or not to tell them about what happened on Friday night. I had finally decided that I was not going to say anything. It is not that I don't want to share it with them; I just want to keep it to myself for a little while longer. Anyways it is not like they will be left in the dark for too much longer. Because James will probably say something to me by the end of the day, and when we were angry at each other that just _didn't happen_.

I smiled as I looked into the mirror once again remembering how happy I was that we were friends again. I had smiled the whole weekend away; I was just that happy. Alice and Vanessa either thought that I was just in a better mood (which is correct) or that I had completely gone off the deep end.

Oh, well, I sighed as I pulled a few wisps of my hair out of my braid so that it could frame my face. I didn't look great, but I guess that I didn't look horrible either. I just looked like, well, I just looked like myself. I am not the great beauty out of our group, which is Alice. The only notable thing about me is my red hair and emerald eyes most of my other features are just plain.

I looked at the clock by the side of my bedside. I still had a bit of time so I gathered up all of the books and parchment that was lying around my school bag. I had not gotten much more of my homework done this weekend due to the fact that I really have not been able to concentrate on much of anything this weekend.

"It's a good thing that I am usually very on top of my homework. I suppose that I can afford to have a lazy weekend once and a while." I said to myself, quickly picking my school stuff and stuffing them into my bag.

Once I got my bag all assembled and on my shoulder, I turned around to regard myself in the mirror. _I should try that black mascara that Alice is always trying to convince me to wear so that she knows that I actually listen to her when she rambles on about trivial things like that. _I thought to myself as I walked back into the bathroom for the 30th time that morning. After I was done applying the mascara, I walked back to the mirror to look at how I the makeup affected my face. I was politely pleased by the entire effect. It seems amazing how such a slim little bottle can make your eyes just _pop._ "I really should take the time to do this every morning." I mused to myself as I looked at my reflection.

I fixed my hair one more time before turning to leave the room. I carefully shut the door and walked slowly down the stairs so that I would not trip and fall. It seems like that should not be that hard to do, walk slowly, but my legs had other ideas. It was the knowledge that I was going to be seeing James again that was making my legs and heart work faster. "Deep breath, Lily." I said to myself in an attempt to calm my fluttering heart.

I decided that I should just try to think about something that was not related to James Potter in any way. I suddenly remembered that my copy of Pride and Prejudice that I started reading this weekend was lying out on the table. I dashed into the room so that I would not forget to pick it up.

The book was right where I left it, but I just could not find the bookmark. I am a firm believer in using bookmarks; I just always seem to be losing the darn things.

"Looking for your bookmark, Lily?" A voice asked from behind me. I knew who it was so I started to smile before I even turned around.

"Yeah, I was reading a book down here and I must have forgotten to put it in my spot when I stopped reading that night." I replied turning around to face him when I was done talking which I suppose was a good thing for I probably would have lost my train of thought.

He was standing much, much closer than I had anticipated his distance through the sound and volume of his voice. When I turned around I found that he was only standing a foot or so away from me. He stood there holding my bookmark with a lopsided grin on his face that probably had the ability to stop anyone's heart.

"Well, lucky for you that I found it, isn't it? It would have been horrible if you would never have found this, wouldn't it?" He looked down at the bookmark, and because I label my bookmarks for what story I was reading, he asked. "You are reading Pride and Prejudice, isn't that a muggle story?" Looking at me with a quizzical expression on his face.

"Well I guess then that would be fine because I am a muggle born." I said in an incredulous voice because that question was just a pointless one. "It happens to be one of my favorite stories of all time."

"I suppose that taken that into account, I can see why you might want this bookmark back, then." He said absently turning the bookmark over and over in his hand.

I held out my hand so that he could give it back to me, but all he did was look back at me with a mischievous glimmer in his hazel eyes. "Is there something that you want, Evans?" He asked with a faint smile playing on his lips.

I looked back at him for a moment as if he might have temporarily gone mad, or if he was just suffering from severe short-term memory loss. We were, after all, just talking about it a few seconds ago. "My bookmark, James." I replied. "I was just wondering when you were planning on returning it back to me because I can't possible imagine that _you_ could possibly want my Pride and Prejudice bookmark."

"You, Lily Evans, are definitely not the person who would know anything about what I do or do not want." He said his voice growing deeper and quieter than usual as he continues talking. He leaned down closer so that we were more of the same height. "But you didn't actually _ask_ for it back." As he said this his eyes were sparkling as his mouth curved into a playful smirk.

I can't believe that he would have enough guts to tell me that I have to _ask_ him to give me my bookmark back. Were in that strange male mind does he get the notion that this is the way it should happen. "Since when do people have to ask other people to get their own stuff back?" I ask incredulously angling my head up so that I could stare him right in the eye.

"Since I just decided that I wasn't going to give it back to you unless you asked me for it. Lily. That's when that rule was decided." He said looking ai me in a fashion that said that he was really enjoying teasing me.

"I thought you had said that you were not going to be unnecessarily difficult this year. This does not look good if you are intending on keeping that promise that you made me." I said in a last ditch effort to convince him to just give it back to me even though I knew that it was pointless. He is incredibly stubborn; I was not going to get this bookmark back unless I ask for it.

"Lily you know that this was not what I was talking about. Friends tease one another, and do little things to annoy each other all the time. Do you really _expect _me not to tease you? It is not really that difficult to do, is it? All you have to do is ask, and I will give it right back to you." He barely whispered that last part looking intently into my eyes.

I know that it makes me sound really pathetic, but every time he does that I can't help but get trapped in his eyes. It is just that they are so impossibly unique and perfect. The colors are enchanting and mysterious. They are so warm and deep so that you feel as if you are looking right into his soul. They can be hard as ice, or as sparkly as diamonds. They change so fast and complete as he changes how he feels.

"Lily." James said pulling me out of my private wandering thoughts. "It is really not all that difficult. I am positive that you can handle asking me for one small bookmark. You do want it, don't you?" He said that last sentence; his eyes sparkling in a fashion that made it seem that he had just said something _suggestive_ to me.

I sighed, knowing that it was pointless trying to argue about this any longer. Might as well get on with this then, I thought to myself. "James, would you please be so kind as to give me my bookmark back, even though it should not have been necessary to ask in the first place." I said as sweetly as I possibly could.

"Yes, Lily. It was necessary to have you ask for me to return it to you." He said as he opened my hand and gently placed the bookmark into hand. "You will want to keep this with you seeing as you had to go through trouble to got it back. And I would probably be sad if I were to just find it lying around again." He added as his eyes sparkles as bright as the morning light. "And if I do find it again, who knows if I will even return it you."

"I will be sure to take good care of it now." I said with mock formality.

"Be sure that you do. See you later, Lily." He said picking up his bag and winking at me before he left to go down to breakfast.

I closed my hand gently but firmly around the bookmark. I do not think that I will ever lose this again. How could I? Now it seems to be so much more than a bookmark.

I smiled to myself as I carefully placed it into my book to mark my place. "There is only one problem with this." I thought to myself. "What _will_ I do if I ever lose it again?"

**Author's Note: So, I have not written much new in my notebook seeing as I have lately begun work on Charming a Flower. So I don't know when I will be able to update again. I guess that we can just pray that it will not be an obscenely long time before I feel far enough ahead in my notebook so that I can update again. (I have not even finished the next chapter, yet!)**

**Well until next chapter…..Review…..**

**Love Allison**


	15. Change of Partners

Author's Note: I would like to apologize that it has taken me such a long time to update. However, in my defense I would like to point out that I ran out of chapters in my notebook, and therefore I could not type anything. So, I was working to write it as fast as I could, but the muses were not smiling (what I like to call my writer's block). I wrote this next chapter over the course of about three weeks, so if in the process of the chapter there are any inconsistencies, I apologize for them right now.

**This chapter is not very great in my opinion. I had to write it because I needed to introduce an important character. Also, I needed to change something in the story line because something happened in real life that changed the process of my thinking. (Yes, I am an author that takes people from real life, however I will not create any characters that are you, my devoted reader, seeing as I do not know you in real life. Jenny and Shannon, you guys are the exception!)**

**Now on to the chapter…**

Charmed Love Chapter 15

October 15

Defense Against the Dark Arts

First, I want to say that when I was talking about all of my homework and classed that I did not forget to mention this class. I have indeed been in this class all year. It is just that nothing has really happened that is worth mentioning. And most of the time you would not even dare to think about doing something that is not expressly devoted to this class. Professor Susan Czupik (pronounced ZU-pick) is a no-nonsense listen-to-me-and-heed-what-I-say-OR-ELSE-good-luck-on-my-tests teacher. So if you even _contemplate_ about _thinking_ of doing something that might on any way shape or form hinder your note taking abilities, she will eat you for breakfast. (I am sure that those are just rumors, but we never did find out what happened to Wendell Eddison…)

Professor Czupik is a really good professor, though. She really knows what she is talking about, and you can tell that she enjoys doing it. Although, I swear, if you asked her she would say that it is just something that she does to fill her days.

So, I have not decided to take the risk of writing in my journal in her class. I really don't even know why I am trying to write in it now because I am really not that sneaky. Even when I was little, I could never manage to stay up late past my bed time. My mom always told me that I should never try to get a job as a spy because I would be horrible at it.

Anyways, I just really wanted to write now because it turns out that6 Beth and Eric are having some relationship issues. Apparently he was acting like a huge jerk and they got into a fight about something really stupid. I don't know all the details, but I think a big part of it is that Beth does not realize how much she really cares about him and vice versa. I think that they just need to sit down and talk so that they can realize how much they love each other. Because it is just so obvious that she does love him, and is just being difficult…

Crap, I have been forgetting to periodically look up from my journal to pretend like I have just been taking notes. I thought that if I looked like I was actually taking the notes that she might not see me. I guess this is just one of those times when I thank my lucky stars that I am usually so engrossed in my notes that she will not notice a difference. So as you can see, being an over obsessive compulsive note taker does have its advantages.

"Today we are going to be working on nonverbal spells. I am going to assign you partners and you are going to practice disarming and blocking the spells nonverbally." Professor Czupik lectured as she walked back to her desk so that she could pick up her already prepared list of partners. "I paired you up with people of your same skill level so that there would be no unfair advantages or disadvantages."

It seems like after you do this for a while you start to learn how your teacher's minds work. There is only one student in this class better than me, and only by a small margin. So that means that there is only one student that I could be paired up with. I guess in this situation I can be glad that Professor Czupik didn't have this class last month because this would have been bad, _very bad._

"Beth Foster and Sirius Black." That should be an interesting pair considering the fact that the only thing that those two have in common is the fact that they love to annoy each other. I think that this night be the rare case where I think that I might actually pity Sirius because Beth is in one of her moods. She is going to make this class as horrible as possible for Sirius as she possibly can. I think that right now, because she is so irritable, she is just looking for someone whom she can take her frustration out on and she knows that Sirius will not take any of it personally.

"Eric Wiles and Frank Longbottom." I guess that Eric should thank his lucky stars that Alice did not end up as his partner because Eric is number one on Alice's hit list. And being on that list is not joking matter, trust me. She once hexed someone into next week because they made a rude comment about me liking James in third year. (A speculation that I have since firmly erased from anyone's mind, I would like to add) We became fast friends after that incident, and she has remained as loyal as ever.

"Peter Pettigrew and Arielle Johnson." Not that I really had to worry about it, but I should really hat e to be partnered with Peter.

I really don't know why Professor Czupik has not called out James and me, yet. I mean, we both know that we are going to be partners. Why doesn't she just get it out of the way? Besides I have not talked to James in a while and I really want to have a good conversation with him.

"Vanessa Edwards and Alice St. John." That should be a very interesting pairing seeing as the two of them really hit it off together a few weeks ago. I will be truly surprised if they get any work done at all.

"Samantha Clemmons and Thomas Quick."

"Arnold Reed and Brenna Fairington." _Really_ Professor, I know who my partner is, why can't we just start clear a spot and start working already so that we can finish and them I can talk to him. Just say it..._James Potter and Lily Evans_. I know that you can do it, it's not even that difficult.

"James Potter and…" Okay, I know that this sounds like such a cheesy cliché, but my heart felt like it had stopped momentarily. _Just take a deep breath, Lily. In, out, in out. _ "and Remus Lupin."

It felt like I had just been hit in the stomach. I felt breathless and dizzy. I could not possibly have heard her right. James and Remus? That just has to be a mistake. James and Lily are supposed to be partners. I felt my heart start beating again and my ears started to ring. I looks over at James to see if he was effected by this news as well. His expression was blank and his eyes were inscrutable. For all I knew, he was completely unaffected by this selection of partners. He might have even been happy that he did not have to work with me. The one thing that I want to know is who the hell I am going to be partnered with. I really don't like not knowing who I am going to have to work with.

"Lily Evans and Eli Chatfield." Professor Czupik finished as she folded up her list and put is back on her desk. However, I just sat there asking myself the same two questions over and over. _Why is James Potter not my partner, and who in the world is Eli Chatfield?_

I looked around the room in puzzlement as I tried to internally answer these questions. I decided that maybe James and I are not exactly at the same level anymore, seeing as I have not really had my heart in my studies these past few months.

The second question is more confusing in its solution. I know that I have heard the name before, I just can't put a face with the name. I don't think that I have had class with him before so that must mean that he is in Ravenclaw. That would probably explain why I never have really talked to him before. I really don't socialize with the people who are not in my house. It is really starting to annoy me at how many people I still do not know very well after seven years at this school.

Professor Czupik started diving the instructions again before I was really paying attention. "When you get with your partner I want you to try to disarm each other while your partner blocks it using the nonverbal shield charm. I will be walking around to make sure that you are doing it correctly and that you are actually on task. After you manage to do is correctly you may stop working and write your observations about using nonverbal spells in a 21 cm essay that is due tomorrow. You may find you partner and begin."

Great now I am supposed to find this Eli Chatfield. Maybe, because it seems that everyone knows me, I should just wait for him to find me. Admittedly it makes me seem difficult, but I really don't know what else to do.

"Umm, Lily Evans?" A voice said from behind me. It must be Eli Chatfield; I guess my idea did work after all.

"Yeah, I'm Lily. You must be Eli, correct?" I said as I looked towards the direction that I had heard his voice. When I saw him I instantly knew that I had never seen him before because there is no way that I would have forgotten his height. He must have at least been 6'4".

"So we should get started, right?" He said in a friendly voice moving over to an empty space where we could practice. Most of the other groups had already started because I had to dodge someone's wand that was flying across the room.

"Do you want to try blocking the spell first, or do you want to do the disarming first?" I asked not at all sure how to work with another partner whom I have never spoken to before.

"I would like to try the blocking first if you don't mind, and then after I give it a few tries you can give it a go." He said walking backwards a few steps before turning around to face me. He raised his wand into the ready position so that he could block me. "I am ready; you can try to disarm me now."

I smiled to myself. This was a lot like it was when I worked with James. The only thing that was different is that James would have tried to make me laugh by now with an ill attempt at humor. "Expelliarmous." I said with a flick of my wand in him direction.

It did not even look like he used any effort at all when he moved his wand. It didn't even look like his face had changed from his concentrated expression, but he had done it. He had successfully blocked my spell on the first try. I stood there for a second stunned at how fast he had mastered the new skill. "How did you do that?" I asked in disbelief not able to keep my curiosity in.

He simply looked at me and with am embarrassed smile explained. " I have never actually had to practice these spells, they have always just come naturally for me. So don't be amazed, it would be amazing if I had to actually work at it. This is so easy for me; it sometimes feels like I am cheating.

I could tell that this must embarrass him greatly, so I decided to just drop it. "I guess that I should give it a try then." I said with a sunny smile raising my wand in a defensive position. "I'm ready." I said answering the questioning look on his face.

Before I could even think I felt my wand slide from between my fingers. But that really didn't surprise me at all because it usually takes me a few tries to get it right.

We continued on like that for a little while longer, and exactly as I predicted it only took me three more tries to get it right. Professor Czupik came around to see whether we had finished, and when she saw that we had, she told us that we could begin on the written assignment.

Still feeling guilty that I knew nothing about him, when we sat down again I decided that I was going to talk with him. "So what should we write about?" I asked starting out with the logistics that were before us hoping that the conversation would naturally progress to other topics.

"We should start with writing how nonverbal spells give you an advantage in a duel." Eli said in a straight-forward tone that said that he was not a big conversationalist.

"Okay, that is a good place to start. Don't you find that that is probably the most important think when beginning something? You just have to be able to start it right, and then everything else just falls into place." I said casually after writing a few sentences down on the parchment, hoping to bring him into the conversation.

"I have discovered the same thing out myself." He said looking up with an expression that clearly expressed that while he might not mind me personally, he would much rather be working on the essay. And oddly enough, I found that I felt exactly the same way.

After that we passed the rest of the class in relative and companionable silence, only bothering to speak when we wanted to comment on something in the book. To put it simply I found that I really didn't mind working with Eli because it seems that our work method is so alike.

**Author's Note: So this is the chapter where I introduced Eli. He might be important in later chapters, so this was pretty important to read. And in case you were wondering Susan Czupik is not the name of one of my teachers. My old Social Studies teacher's name is Susan, and she was more or less the model for this teacher. And the last name is the name of my brother's Latin teacher. **

**I don't know when I will be able to update again because school in back in full swing and my Honors English course is taking up a lot of the creative juices. However, I can almost promise that I will not be so long again. A month is almost inexcusable.**

**However, if it does take a long time you can check out Charming Lily which is James' POV. There is only one chapter up, but hey one is better than none.**

**Please feel free to leave a review. I will Love you forever, if you do!**

**Love Allison**


	16. Author's Note:::Not a Chapter

**Author's Note: I just want to start off saying that this is not a chapter. I am sorry if I got any of your hopes up that I had updated again with the next part of Charmed Love. I wanted to write you this entire chapter as a message saying that I have lost my notebook. I was working on it in Study Hall and I had to stop because it was the end of the class, and I did not put it back in my bad because I was just going to Concert Band for my next class. And after Band when I was heading for end-of-the-day-holding-cell-while-I-wait-for-my-brother I was going to work on it again. And it was nowhere to be found. I had one chapter completed and I was about half way through with the next one. So that was 16 pages of work. And for any of you people out there who have a problem that I will not be updating until I get said notebook back or until this is behind me enough that I can just rewrite them and continue. I would like to say that I have been working on this story since the end of March. That notebook is very special to me and without it, I feel like I cannot continue at the present time. I hope that you will have patience with me while I wait to find my notebook.**

**But on another note, I have officially reached 100 pages in my notebook. I was currently working on page 103.**

**Love Allison**

**P.S. I guess that I will give you a teaser about what the next chapter is about…**

**While Lily thinks that James has been avoiding her, Beth and Eric break up, and she learns that James has most certainly **_**not**_** been avoiding her.**

**P.P.S. Just want to thank you all again for the wonderful reviews that I have gotten thus far on my story. As soon as I get the opportunity to post again I will do so as soon as I possibly can because you all deserve it! ******


	17. Could Not Avoid You

**Author's Note: Well I guess that you could say that I am back. And even though I did never find my notebook, I have decided that it is time for me to try to move on with this and get this last chapter out to my readers. If I have never told all of you guys before, I think that you are probably the best reader/reviewers that an author could have. Especially the few of you who take the time to faithfully review every chapter, even if it takes you a few days to read it. I have not rewritten this chapter in my new notebook it is all that I can remember as I am sitting at my computer. I hope that my memory serves me well because I was really happy with how it came out when I wrote it the first time. Well wish me luck…**

**I do not own Lily or James Potter. I wish that I did because I love both of them so much but alas, my wish remains just that, a wish.**

Charmed Love Chapter 16

October 29

Bathroom before getting ready for school

I have noticed that it seems that whenever you really want to see or talk to a person that you never see them or get the opportunity to talk to them. That has been the story of my life for the past few weeks. I really wanted to talk to James that day after we were not partners in Defense Against the Dark Arts, but he seems to just have evaporated into thin air. Okay I think that I should take that last statement back because it is not necessarily true. I have seen James about the school at classes and the Great Hall, but whenever I go to go talk to him or, quite frankly, move in his general direction, he seems to just disappear. And the thing that is so frustrating about this is that if I was trying to avoid him, fate would not be on my side and I would end up seeing him every, single, stupid, second of the freaking day. I hoped that he was not angry at me for not being his partner, but really what was I supposed to do, _tell_ Professor Czupik that I could not be Eli Chatfield's partner and that I had to be partners with him. And if he seriously thinks that well he needs to just get over it already.

But had I missed some signal saying that he did not want to be my friend anymore. I mean I suppose that those comments that I had made about Quidditch could have really rubbed him the wrong way, but could he not see that they were purely in jest. And partially so cruel because I was the uncoordinated freak that would probably end up killing herself it she ever tried to fly a broom, let alone dodging other players and bludgers while trying to stay on board the broom. Still he would have not gotten that angry at me for that, and if he did he would have already cracked and yelled at me because he is not the type of person to let that kind of anger just sit inside himself like that.

God, I just need to get James Potter out of my mind because if I keep this up I am just going to end up going crazy. _I need something to keep me busy. I know I will go find myself a good book to read and just go sit in front of the fire and forget about him._ I thought to myself as I walked into our dormitory.

I walked up the stairs to my room with every intention of just grabbing a book at random, and then walking straight back downstairs. However, as soon as I looked at my bookshelf I knew that that was just pure nonsense because there was no way on God's green Earth that I was going to be able to do that. I read the book that will best fit my mood and I knew that it would be just my luck to choose one that would be totally wrong for the moment. _Just go through every book and decide if it will work; one book at a time._ I chanted to myself as I stood looking at the first shelf.

Okay, Twilight was out of the question because the thought of reading about star crossed lovers with the hero leaving would just be too close to what I am at right now for it to help me escape the situation. The Princess Diaries, well they had potential because I really did love them but again the whole issues that she has with Michael would once again be counterproductive to my purpose. I didn't want anything depressing or sad, so the Series of Unfortunate Events was not going to be the main choice of the evening, even though the dismal situations of the Baudelaire would make me feel better about my own situation. I did not want to read fantasy right now so the Pawn of Prophecy or Star Wars were just not going to work. And I can tell you right now that there is no way in hell that I am going to read Pride and Prejudice because that would just be very counterproductive seeing as I am trying to get James Potter out of my mind.

I don't know how long I stood there because the next thing I remember is hearing someone banging on the door and then just bursting through. It was Vanessa and Alice. I could immediately tell that something was very wrong because Alice looked like she wanted to kill someone; literally her whole face read eminent death for someone. I knew that I was not going to get any form of answer from Alice and then decided to look to Vanessa for some form of explanation. She just looked at me and said, "Whatever you are doing right now I hope that you can put on hold because Beth really needs you right now."

I gave one more look at the two of them and I could tell that this was something that was more than just a bad day. I dropped Pride and Prejudice and ran out of my room and down the stairs as quickly as I possibly could. It had to be something that was pretty serious for them to come running to get me.

The sight that greeted me when I finally reached the common room confirmed my suspicions that something had gone very wrong. Beth was sitting in the couch by the fire with her head in her hands making noises that sounded too close to uncontrollable tears for me to feel comfortable. I ran as quickly as I could across the room to where she was sitting and immediately wrapped my arms around her. At first she seemed startled, but when she realized that it was me, she buried her head closer into my shoulder and said something about being very stupid and over reacting.

I knew that she was not going to be able to tell me anything, so I looked up to find Alice or Vanessa so that they could inform me as to what was going on. Alice was still seething so I then averted my gaze to Vanessa. I looked at her imploringly and she understood at once what I was trying to ask her without actually saying it out loud.

"Well." She began, "you know that Beth and Eric have been having some issues of late, and getting into fights all of the time. Well you know how we had that Hogsmeade trip that we took last weekend. Apparently Eric was not available to go..."

"He was not able to go because he was being a cheating slime ball, and seeing another woman; A particular favorite of yours Lily. A slut that you have had to deal with in the past too. I am sure that you do remember Lucy Newick." Alice added.

"And well Alice told Beth that Eric was seeing another woman. But as I am sure that you can deduce, Beth did not believe her. She tried to have faith in her boyfriend, which quite frankly that man whore did not deserve in the slightest. Anyways, so they have not really talked since then and tonight when we were walking back from the Great Hall we kind of _found them_ in an empty classroom..." Vanessa trailed off full implication saying what she obviously could not. "Beth just turned around and started walking away before anything could be said. And then when she was down the hallway out of earshot she just started to lose it, we thought it would be best if she came here to you."

I was shocked to say the least. It was no wonder why our dear Beth was in such a state. To find your boyfriend having sex with someone like Lucy is definitely a crushing blow. I knew I had to say something it was just that I could not think of how to start talking about it without unintentionally making it worse. "It is going to be alright. You are going to get through this." Was all that I whispered into her hair.

"Oh I know that." Beth said finally looking up at me with her mascara running down her cheeks. "It is just that I wanted so badly for it not to be real when Alice first told me about it. And then when I saw him... I just should have seen it coming." She said her voice breaking twice.

It was the last thing that I wanted her to be doing right now. She was definitely not to blame in this situation; this was all Eric's fault. So I said "You are not going to put any of the blame on yourself right now. No one could have seen it coming, and most certainly not someone who would not want to see it. You are so much better off without him right now, and if he truly needed someone like Lucy to satisfy him, he was not worthy of someone as terrific as you." And it was not until I said it that I really believed that it was true. She was someone that men should be lining up on the street corners for, not someone who was dating the unfaithful boyfriend.

"And Beth," Alice piped up. "If you want him remove from the land of the living for a while please ask, you will not be putting me at any inconvenience. I would actually do it quite cheerfully." She continued her voice and face were filled with malicious delight.

While I knew that it would satisfy our need for vengeance, I knew that this was not what Beth needed right now. "I think we should hold off on those thoughts for a little while longer. What we need to do first is go to the kitchens and get all the chocolate that they have and then go back to Gryffindor Tower and stay up all night laughing and eating the chocolate." I suggested looking at Beth with hopeful eyes.

"I think that that is a great idea." Beth said sifting around so that she could get out of the chair. "You do not have to come, Lily. I know that you probably have to do all of your Heads duties that you have been putting off for the last few days."

"Beth you know that you are much more important to me than..." That was all I managed to get out before she interrupted me.

"No, I will be fine with just Alice and Vanessa. It is not that I don't think that you would be with me tonight, it is just that I don't want you getting yourself into any larger of a whole at my expense." Beth said as she walked over to Vanessa who wrapped her arms around her protectively.

"I will come and see you tomorrow morning with some Hot Chocolate." I promised with a little smile before they left the room. I really did not know what to do now. I could not even think about doing anything because my mind was just buzzing with this latest information. I stayed still sitting on the armchair by the fire for such a long time that I did not notice when a pair of feet came to stop in front of me.

"What has you in such a quiet mood, Lily?" James asked from his position before me.

I was in such a confused state of mind that I blurted out the truth without even thinking about it. "Why are men just such huge idiots?"

"Okay, before I answer that question I want you to answer one for me. Who is he and what did he do to you?" James asked with a slight smirk on his face.

I went through my mental Pro and Cons list. _Pros- James was a guy and therefore able to think like a guy which may be useful for finding out what could have been going through Eric's mind at the time. He was also a Maurder which means that he could also be useful for making him pay because he would have no scruples were breaking the rules is concerned. And I don't have to worry about him telling anyone, because since this was a secret by tomorrow at lunch the whole school will know. Cons- No matter what happens in 70 years we will all be dead and therefore anything that will happen with be lost forever._

"Lily, What Happened?" James asked through his teeth getting angry for some unknown reason.

"It is Eric, he was having sex with Lucy Newick and Beth caught them together tonight in an empty classroom. She was heartbroken because Alice tried to warn her about it and she did not believe her." I answered looking at him straight in the face because he had kneeled down in front of me so that we were the same level.

"First of all, Eric is an asshole, and does not deserve someone as nice as Beth for a girlfriend. Second, I really hope that you do not judge the entire male population by what you saw in Eric because most of us are not that horrible." He said his eyes twinkling with the reflecting firelight.

"Well I do not know if I would go right to that seeing as you have been avoiding me for the past few weeks." I said looking over his shoulder into the fire.

His hand caught the corner of my jaw line and turned it so that I was facing him once more. "I have most certainly not been avoiding you, if only you knew how hard it would be for me to even try to forget about you." He said looking straight into my eyes trying to convey a message to me that I was just not getting.

I was flustered and just could not think clearly because those eyes combined with his sent were clouding my thoughts. "Yes it would be very difficult to avoid one another completely because we both basically have the same schedule. And we see each other in the halls all of the time." I said unable to think of anything else.

"A very possible reason, but not exactly the one that I had in mind at all." He said tucking a stray piece of hair behind me ear and sliding his hand through my hair until his hand was resting right on the spot where my neck and shoulder meet.

"Well, w-we are head b-boy and girl, a-and we d-do share a dorm and everything. It would t-take a lot of effort to avoid e-each other." I stammered out closing my eyes trying to block out the fact that his hand was really warm and comfortable right there on my neck.

"Not it either." He said with just the hint of a smile coloring his words. I opened my eyes in response to see him only a few inches from my face. "I would never come to a moment in my life when I would ever have a reason to want to forget someone like you." He looked like he hesitated for a moment and I felt my head start to spin and for a moment it felt like the entire world was spinning around James and me...

But then he pulled away and the moment was gone. He whispered "Sweet Dreams" before he turned around and walked from the room almost as if he had not just shared in the same sensations that I had.

I stared into the fire for a few more minutes before I went up to my bed. I placed my copy of Pride and Prejudice back on the shelf before I put on my pajamas and climbed into bed. And before I went to sleep the last thing that I thought was that I hoped that James Potter had kissed me in that wonderful moment just downstairs.

**Author's Note: Well, I personally think that that turned out wonderfully. I am actually very pleased of this chapter considering the fact that I wrote it out just sitting at the computer. That is actually one of my favorites so far. Damn, I am good. Now that I am done tooting my own horn... **

**I just want to say to anyone who is confused. The stories that Lily reads are actually some of my favorite books in the entire world. Most of them are romances by some form or another, and I would highly recommend them to anyone who is looking for something to read. However, if you do not like science-fiction/fantasy with very detailed plot lines I would just like to say that the Pawn of Prophecy is not quite right for you. It is actually in a series of 10 books that David and Leigh Eddings wrote with the same characters. If you want more information please feel free to leave me a message.**

**Which brings me to something else; I have seen via story traffic that there is definitely a substantial number of people that are reading this story. Now I am not going to be one of those authors that say **_**I want 25 reviews before I am going to post the next chapter**_**, because, as a reader myself, I can say that that just annoys me, personally. However all I ask is that you just leave me a small message saying if you liked this last chapter. I am not asking for a novel here, but I am figuring that if I can write almost 3,000 words in a chapter, that you my beloved reader can at least spare me 3 minutes to leave me a short review.**

**Now after that obscenely long author's note. I will leave you now so that you can leave me a review...**

**Love Allison**


	18. Emotions Changing as the Tide

**Author's Note: Do you want to know one thing that I absolutely love about have no school? It is the fact that then you have the entire day to do what you want to do. So, my dear readers, I wanted to give you the next chapter of Charmed Love. I know that there are some things that are not going to be as accepted as well as others. But when I started writing this story, I knew I wanted two things to keep Lily and James apart. You have already experienced the first one, and all I am going to say is that the second one is about to begin.**

**And I know that I hardly ever do this but… I want to dedicate this chapter to my faithful reviewers. These reviewers leave me reviews on every chapter that I have written since they have started reading my story. They are: Worldofwords97, Jessluvsharry, Zoukt, , Crazy-wee-cat, StellaGirlx3, and Punkin1294. You guys are just wonderful. And if you are not mentioned on this list but have left a review…Do Not think that I have not noticed your review. I love each and every review that I have received.**

**Now on with the next chapter…**

Charmed Love: Chapter 17

November 13

Sometime really late at night

Everything can change in the course of one day. And I don't exclusively mean bad things, but instead, I mean things that I would have never seen coming because I just don't do relationships. (A fact that every one of my friends would attest to with alarming alacrity.)

The day started just like every other. Well I suppose that I would be lying if I said that. It was not exactly the same because when I woke up, I just got this feeling in my stomach that _something _exciting was going to happen.

But, anyways…I got up exactly when my alarm went off at 6:45 as I do every morning. I showered, and even used my Lily of the Valley shampoo, because I just had to be prepared. I put on some mascara and brushed my hair, deciding to leave my hair down, something that I rarely do. I got dressed and practically skipped down the stairs, because I heard some movement in the room next to mine, which meant that James was up and moving too.

When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I heard the door open and I saw James step out from his room. And…

I just lost my rational thought, almost as if something had soft and warm had wrapped itself around my heart, a sensation that made me smile stupidly. And I wish that I could say that this does not happen a lot, but it has become something that I have done every morning since _that night_. But it is just that James just looks so handsome in the morning. He is just all freshly showered and clean shaven. His shirt is a fresh pearly white, and his glasses are sitting straight on the bridge of his nose. He would look perfect if it were not for his tie still hanging loosely around his neck not having bothered to tie it before he has his first lesson, and his hair is as always even messier than usual, the ends still slightly damp from his shower. He is not perfect, but everything else just serves as a reminder that he is James Potter, perfect because of his imperfections.

Now I know that this all seems risky to be running through the mind of a girl that is not in love with him. Believe you me that if any of my friends knew that I thought these same thoughts every morning that I would never hear the end of it. But the thing is, I am not even really sure why this happens every morning. I do not have a rational explanation as to why this happens and quite frankly I do not want to know because that is what got me into trouble the last time. I was too hasty to declare myself to be in love with James and that ended in a catastrophe.

He walked up to me with a casual grace that I could never hope to achieve; those are the breaks when you can hardly walk over a flat surface without partly concentrating on not tripping over your own two feet.

I tried to push all of those lovey-dovey thoughts out of my mind before he tried to start a conversation with me. Because I always needed my wits about me whenever I tried to carry on an intelligent conversation with the man that could turn my thoughts into a complete jumble.

"Good Morning, Lily." He said when he stopped to stand directly in front of me.

"Good morning James." I replied in a slightly breathy voice as I gazed directly into his hazel eyes, which were warm, comforting, and suffused with an emotion that I could not decipher no matter how hard I tried. "I trust that you slept fine." I continued as I tried to continue with the conversation before we would head down to breakfast where all of our respective friends would try their hardest to claim our attention. All alone time that I could manage with James was precious and not to be wasted, because I only had so much time at my disposal. Because between his friends, school, homework, and Quidditch practice, that amount of time was already short to begin with.

His eyes crinkled around the edges as he burst into a really big smile as if enjoying some private joke. "It was very pleasurable, one of my favorite things to do in the day, because that is when all of my dreams come true. If only life could be like that, right?" He asked.

I thought back on the thoughts that I had had as he came down the stairs every morning and realized that he was right and that I did wish that things could just become simpler and come true. So I replied in the affirmative.

"Well at terrific as this conversation is, I am starting to get really hungry so I think that I am going to head down to breakfast. Care to join me m'lady?" He said bowing grandly as his eyes danced with laughter.

"Why yes, we shall." I replied as I felt my cheeks grow warm because I could tell that I must be blushing.

"Perfect." He said as he extended his arm with every intention of my taking it so that he could escort me down to the Great Hall.

I looked at him for a moment before I gladly took his arm and let myself be guided out of the Common Room and into the hall. As we walked down the hall, we talked idly about school, friends, life, and really just anything that popped into our heads. It was so easy to feel comfortable around James; he just had this thing about him that makes you want to talk to him and for him to enjoy your company as well.

When we reached the Gryffindor Table we sat down with our group of friends. Ever since a few weeks ago, we were not part of our separate groups any mare. I guess they decided that they might as well become close because they must all share Beth and Alice's theory that James and I are hopelessly in love with each other but just will not admit it to the other. They started hanging out with each other more and more to the point where we were sitting with the Maurders at meals, partnering up with them in classes when we were supposed to be working in big groups, and talking outside of school. That does not mean that we spent every waking moment with them, it just means that we were all talking with one another. So when we sat down, we still separated between the boys and the girls, but conversation could very easily flow between the two groups.

I joined in the conversation a few times because if I didn't they would start to wonder and worry, but I did not really take an active part of it. I was too busy watching James as he talked with his friends; it was so natural and artless for him. He was open and sparkling and quite frankly really desirable. It was just the way that he held himself and the way even though I was being silent he would still look over at me and smile and wink, which made me feel like I was actually part of the conversation. And I came to the conclusion that falling in love would be so easy; it would be exactly like falling. Natural and Effortless. He is what most women want in their lover. He is intelligent, good looking, funny, down to earth, athletic, and just an all around good guy.

I realized that while I may not currently be in love with him (and even though I did not want to admit it, that possibility was slim to none) that I could not let anyone know because he could just do so much better than me. And if he did find out that I like him, he would only be nice to me because that is just the type of guy that he is. And that would be worse than him just ignoring it because then I would know that the only reason that he was pretending to like me is because he felt sorry for me.

So when I headed to Charms, I felt a lump form at the back of my throat because I knew that James has to see Professor Sprout about something. I sat numbly in my seat with my notebook out so that I could distract myself with taking notes.

But when Professor Flitwick addressed the class about today's lesson plan I knew that I was going to get no such luck. "Today is going to be a free period so that those who do not understand the recent material can talk to me to get further assistance. I expect the rest or you to work on something silently."

I was just about to pull out The Duke and I by Julia Quinn because I had had nothing else to do when all of a sudden a piece of paper was shoved under my hand.

_ So anything happen with James that I should know about. –Beth_

I stared at her and she just smirked and gave me this look that said that I knew what she is talking about. However I decided that I was not going to cooperate with her so I sent the note back with this message.

_I really do not know what you are talking about. Nothing has "happened" between a certain Mr. Potter and myself. ~Lily _

I saw her get the note back and then she show it to Alice because she wanted her opinion on the matter. It was actually very funny watching this unfold because it reminded me of a silent film. After Alice was finished writing she sent me this message.

_ Lily, I am only going to warn you once, but you are going to tell us what is going on and you are going to tell us NOW. I will not tolerate any attempt to change the topic so don't even try. I feel as your best friend that I have the right to know what is going on, and I will not appreciate finding out when the rest of the school sees you two stumble out of a broom closet that you two have become an item. SO SPILL! _Alice__

I stared at the piece of paper with a fair amount of shock and confusion before I even felt to be at a point where I could respond. Had anything really happened this morning between James and I that I even wanted to share with my friends? I had never really planned to tell anyone about the fact that I was quickly falling in love with James. It would somehow make the entire thing seem more planned and less special. So I replied

_Alice, I am being serious when I say that I do not even know what is going on fully. Everything is just changing, and even if I did discover that something might be blossoming it would never actually work because James and I are just not right. We are at different ends of the social scale and he could just do so much better if he wanted to. ~Lily_

Before I even had time to think another piece of paper landed on my desk to me with very different handwriting on it previously, but I recognized the handwriting as belonging to Sirius. However, the paper was folded so many times that I accidently tore off the end of the note.

_You are very different from James. You use your head too much, whereas he tends to get lost in the moment. He is not afraid of making mistakes and taking risks and you would never break the rules in the name of pure excitement and fun. You guys are complete opposites, but yet at the same time completely the same. That is why you are friends with James, and don't look for more because it would just not be good for him._

It was a good thing that the note ended right there because I did not know how much more of that I could have taken, because it was exactly right. I am not good for James because I would be restraining him from really being himself, which a part of is being impulsive and breaking the rules. He would know that I would disapprove so he would not even try. I just could not let that happen to him.

I decided that I should reassure Sirius that I would not try to smother James and I would just leave him be. I quickly penned one final message to him before the bell rang.

_I know. You can count on me not to do anything wrong. ~Lily_

After the bell rang I rushed out of the room before anyone could try to talk to me. I was not sure that I could talk to any of them right now because my friends would just try to sugar coat the truth with false hope. James' friends would just speak the harsh truth that I am just not any good for him. I needed to talk to someone who would not really have an opinion about this that they would be willing to offer.

I knew that there was only one person who could fit that bill exactly and thankfully me next class Defense Against the Dart Arts was the class that we had together. Eli Chatfield.

I walked into the classroom eager to talk to him so that I could let his easy to talk to demeanor make my comfortable again and that hopefully things would start to make sense again.

"Hello, Eli." I said trying to assume my usual cheerful voice that I used when I talked to him, pleased that he was waiting by my desk so that I would not have to worry about seeking him out. "I have something that I need to talk to you about."

"Well that is certainly convenient because I have something that I need to ask you. And if you don't mind can I ask you my thing first?" He asked looking warmly down at me with his gray-ish blue eyes.

"Yeah, you know that you can ask me anything, Eli. We are friends, we are honest with each other and we feel comfortable with each other. We can talk about anything." I said grateful for that fact because what I needed from him would really push this friendship to the limit.

"That is one of the reasons that I wanted to ask you this. This past month being your friend has been more wonderful that I can ever tell you Lily. I have enjoyed every moment that we have spent together. But now I can't help but want more than this. I want to be closer to you, Lily. I want you to be my girlfriend." He said gently cupping my chin with his hand.

But it was not what I wanted. He was terrific and really sweet, but he was not the one that made my heart flip upside-down when he walking into the room. I did not stare into space thinking about him. But I could not be cruel and turn him down without at least a good explanation. "Eli, this is really unexpected, and I am very flattered that you think of me so specially, but I really need to think this through. Can I just let you know my final decision at the end of class?" I said looking up at him with an apologetic smile.

"Take as much time as you need to decide. I can wait until the end of the class or the end of the week for you to feel confident with your decision." He said before he turned to walk back to his desk as the class was starting.

I did not know what I was going to do about this. I did not explicatively want to find myself as Eli Chatfield's girlfriend, but as I was thinking about it, I really did not want to hurt him either. He was really special to me and I wanted to make him happy. Would it really be so horrible of me to date Eli? I know that I am not in love with him right now, but was it totally impossible that I could just learn to love him. I knew that James and I are a complete long shot at best, and I could not just sit around waiting for him. I needed to live my life. So when the end of class came I was going to tell Eli that I would be his girlfriend.

When the bell rang, I walked over to his desk and looked him right in the eyes and told him that I would be his girlfriend. He was so excited and quickly crushed me in a huge hug and placed a small kiss on my cheek. It was sweet, but just sadly missing the warm fuzzy feeling that would have accompanied it had it been from a certain hazel-eyed boy. But I could not allow myself to think like that anymore. I was Eli's girlfriend, and I would fall in love with him.

I went through the rest of my class mechanically, not really remembering what happened nor ever really caring. I went to the Great Hall and sat with my friends, but I did not say anything about Eli to them because I knew I had to tell _him_ first.

I let Eli walk me up to my room and give me a goodnight kiss on the cheek before I went inside. I knew that he was going to try to kiss me on my lips, but I just could not do that to him while I was still in love with James.

I waited up staring into the fire even though I was not really seeing anything. I just could not believe that I had fallen so quickly and completely in love with James. I knew that I needed to tell him first about Eli and me before I told any of my other friends.

Somewhere in my conscious thought, I heard James enter into the Common Room. I looked up to see him standing there bathed in the flickering light from the fire. I knew that I could not just come right out and tell him about it, so I decided that I needed to work my way up to it. "James, we can talk about anything, right?" I asked looking up into his eyes.

"I like to think that we can." He said flashing me a quick smile. "What do you have in mind for tonight's conversation?" He asked moving to stand closer as he began unfastening his tie.

I stood up and walked over to him so that I was standing directly in front of him. "Today during Defense Against the Dark Arts, Eli Chatfield, you know him, right?" I asked him

He stopped right in the middle of unbuttoning the top button of his shirt so that he could breathe more comfortably. "Yeah, I know him. But what does that have to do with what you want to talk about?" He said somewhat harshly as he ripped the button open.

"I want to know what you think about him because, as of this afternoon, he is my boyfriend. And I wanted you to be the first to know because you are my friend." I replied only telling him part of the truth. I wanted him to know because I was secretly and very recently in love with him and his opinion on the matter probably meant more to me right now than my own mum or dad's thoughts about this relationship.

"You are going out with him?" James asked once again with a hint of desperation that the romantic side of me wished was because that he did not want me in the arms of a different man, but I knew that that was just foolish because he was probably just making sure so that he knew he would be safe from me.

"Yeah, I am going out with him. I said looking straight into his eyes hoping that he would respond to me and that I would know what he was thinking.

I watched as his eyes went from lively and hopeful to cold and detached. "Well, I could not be happier for you and Eli." He stopped momentarily shut his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he continued, "We are friends and I am very honored that you took the time to tell me first." He sounded cut off almost as if he had rehearsed this before. "I am happy for you, really I am. If you will excuse me, I have to be going…" He said not even bothering to finish his statement before he hurried from the room.

I stood there for a long time before I went up to my room to just change into my pajamas. I laid there in my bed for a long time straining my ears to hear as James moved about his room getting ready for bed. Even after I heard the noises stop, which meant that he had fallen asleep, I still laid awake just staring numbly at the ceiling, willing the tears that were forming in my eyes not to fall.

I knew that I was not going to be getting much sleep tonight. My mind just kept playing what had happened today over and over in my mind. I thought about this morning and the wonderful feelings that I had had when I had realized that I was in love with James Potter. I thought about the notes I had passed in class when I realized that I was not right for him. I thought about Eli and how he was now my boyfriend, I needed to remind myself that I was going to fall in love with him and forget about James.

And lastly I thought about how much I had secretly hoped that James would not allow me to date Eli because he was too much in love with me himself for him to even allow such a thing to happen. I felt my tears leak over my eyes as I thought about how he had not even really cared that I was dating someone else, which hurt more that I was willing to admit.

And as I decided that I was not even going to bother to wipe away my tears, I realized that I was never going to convince myself to forget James Potter, because he is just not the type of guy that you fall out of love with. Once you fall in love with him, you never go back.

**Author's Note: Well I hope that you enjoyed that. I know that I really had fun writing it. It took me 3 hours to write because I was writing without the benefit of having my thoughts previously written down. And I just kept going back and erasing stuff because I wanted to get everything just perfect.**

**Hope you have a terrific Thanksgiving, for those of you who celebrate it. : )**

**As always please leave me a review telling me your thoughts from this chapter**

**Love Allison**


	19. Confrontations and Hallucinations

**Author's Note: I would just like to start out by saying that I hope all of you readers out there had a terrific Christmas. (Well, those of you who celebrate it.) I got the rest of the Austen Books something that I am very excited about because I am half-way done with Mansfield Park. And I am done with Frankenstein, the book I was reading for school. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Lily Evans or James Potter. We all know this so I think that I am just going to get started with the writing the chapter. =)**

Charmed Love Chapter 18

November 13

Hospital Wing

Some people say that your friends know you better than you know yourself. I can say that I think that I have proved this theory true with my very existence over the past three days. They see past all of your fake pretenses, and confront the very heart of the matter.

So needless to say, they were not all _honestly_ thrilled to hear the news that I had decided that I agreed to become Eli Chatfield's girlfriend. Well, sure they all acted surprised to hear that I had finally grown up and started my own relationship, but I think that that is as far as it went. Actually Beth went completely in the opposite direction…

But I am getting ahead of myself; because there were about three days that went by that I had kept it to myself. I had needed to prepare myself for what they were going to say because I could not bear it to act like everything was all right with my life. I just could not see any of my friends during those three days.

And as much as I hate to admit it, especially down on paper where it has gone on record of my saying it, I became the one who was avoiding James. I knew that if I was going to successfully get through this, without having spontaneous break downs in the middle of Hogwarts, that I was going to have to avoid all contact with his at all costs.

I spent the first day in a bubble, refusing to voluntarily talk to anyone, and only giving very small answers when someone asked me something, because doing otherwise would just be plain rude.

I did talk to Eli, but the conversation was tense and uncomfortable. I can only pray that he just attributed that to the fact that I was nervous about the fact that I had a boyfriend, and that I did not want to screw up our relationship so soon. Which is partly true, but the main reason was that I had to constantly stop wishing that the conversation would be over.

I left the class as soon as I could so that Eli did not even get a chance to kiss me goodbye. Which in hindsight was probably a really mean thing to do, but I just needed to get out so that I could just take a deep breath without anyone asking any questions of me.

The next day, I started to talk more to my friends, but I never was the one to initiate the conversations. We just talked about superficial things: our homework, school in general, and occasionally the weather.

I refused to talk to any of the Maurders because I would just not know what to say to them, because I could have bet you anything that James had already told him something was up with me. Probably about how he was free of my unwanted attentions, because against popular notion among the Slytherins, James does not hurt people's feelings without some remorse. And I know that he would not want to ruin our friendship in any way.

I walked into Defense Against the Dart Arts that day with very mixed thoughts. I knew that I had to just put the thoughts of uncertainty out of my mind if I was going to be able to carry on a conversation with Eli to any success.

"So," He said as I walked across the classroom to take my seat that was not too far from his. "Have you been having a good day today, dear?" He asked using the endearment that he had taken to calling me.

"It has just been the same as always. Nothing special ever really happens in Charms." I replied as I took my bag off of my shoulder to dump it on my chair.

"Hopefully the day is getting better." He said as he tried to hold my hand that was just hanging by my side. At first I jumped at his touch, but then I remembered that we were dating, and holding hands is acceptable.

But after I remembered that I share this class with my friends, and they did not know that I was dating Eli, I removed my hand from his. I looked quickly towards the door only to see that Alice was walking in with Vanessa which meant that Beth too would be on her way soon. "Got to get ready for class." I said by way of explanation under the pretense of getting my books out of my bag.

However, he did not miss the quick glance that I sent to the door just a second after I removed my hand. He looked, and then when he saw that it was just my friends, he proceeded to loop his arm around my shoulders, which I quickly shrugged off. "What? It is just your friends that came in, it was not Professor Czupik. It is not like they do not know that we are going out." He said with frustration at my obvious rejection.

I could not even think of a lie saying that I told him before my blush gave me away. Deciding that it was hopeless, I said "I just have not gotten around to it yet."

"Well, maybe you should think about doing it soon, because it is just ridiculous that they do not know yet." He said looking at me with meaningful eyes.

"I will do it tonight and no later than tomorrow." I said with apologetic eyes. And that was the end of our discussion that day.

On the third day, I resolved to myself when I got up in the morning that I was going to tell my friends what was going on later that night in their dorm room. I knew that I had to do it now because I was pretty sure that things would only go further downhill if I post-poned it any longer. So without further ado I walked downstairs and headed directly to the Gryffindor Girls' Dormitory.

I hurried along in the corridors and quickly muttered the password "lemon drops" before practically running up to their room. Unfortunately, only Alice and Beth were there seeing as Vanessa is in Ravenclaw, and therefore, would not here. I decided that the best course of action would be to just tell Beth and Alice and be done with it, but that is the cowardly way out. And even though I may not always appear to be a _brave_ Gryffindor, I just could not sink that low in my own opinion of myself.

As soon as I reached the top of the stairs, I ran over to Alice's bed and started poking her saying "Wake up, Alice." However, seeing as it was only 7:00 in the morning, dear Alice was not up yet. Quickly running out of patience, I just pulled the blankets off of her while delivering an ultimation that had something to do with taking her pillow and dropping it from the Astronomy Tower if she did not get up at once.

Fortunately for me, Beth is a rather light sleeper so I was saved from having to do through the same process twice, but she is not a morning person. So the look that I received from her was very disgruntled to say the least.

Alice did finally get up and after looking at clock, gave me the most scathing glare as she asked "What the bloody hell could be so important that you had to get me up at this ungodly hour?" She spat as she pulled the blankets back onto her bed.

"Well, I…" I began rather nervously, not quite sure how to continue until I could reason out how mad she really was. If she was only play-mad then I could afford to be sarcastic and give her a really stupid response. If she was kind-of mad, I could just give her a round-about answer without really ever answering her question. However, if she was boiling mad (which I had a feeling was the case) then I would just have to tell her the truth, and pray to God that she would not hex me into the next year.

"And consider you response well, because if I think that it is stupid, I might just throw you off of the Astronomy Tower." She said, her eyes shooting daggers. Yes, _definitely_ boiling mad.

"I need to talk to Beth, Vanessa, and you about something that it rather important. Well, maybe not important exactly, but it is kind of something that you might want to know about. I am almost sure that you would be most upset if you were to find out from someone else, and we all know that that would not be pretty at all. So why don't we all save the rest of the school a little anxiety, and just let me tell you all in person, before you find out from someone else. Unless you all would _like_ to hear what I have to say from someone else, then be my guest I really don't care all that much…" I went on and on just babbling hoping to buy myself a little time so that her temper could return to its normal level.

"Well, maybe I do just want to find out about whatever it is that is just _so important_ from someone else." Alice said as she made the little quotation marks in the air that she knows annoy me so much.

"Nonsense." Beth said waving her hand dismissively in the direction of Alice's bed. "I most certainly do not want to hear about this from an outside source because then it will just be so much harder to believe, and in truth, most of the details will be screwed up or lost by the time that we would ever find out about it." And in this I knew that she spoke from experience, because after Eric and she broke up, the news spread through the castle like wildfire. We did hear _what-really-happened_ from Marlene MacKinnon (a really nice girl that is one year younger than us) and let me just suffice to say that it was way off of the mark.

"Oh, God. All right, I am moving." Alice sighed as she rolled out of her bed and stomped off to the bathroom so that she could was her face and change into her school robes. "But don't think that this means that you can just wake me up any old time you decide to tell us some long hidden secret that you have. Because it will not work." She called from the opposite side of the door.

"Thanks for the help." I muttered to Beth. Beth is kind of Alice and my medium. Because I have a feeling that Alice and I would get into way to many arguments if she was not there, because Alice is too hot-headed and excitable whereas, I just don't tend to get involved in fights unless it is someone that I really truly care about.

"Don't mention it." She said back with a really strange cast to her voice that sounded almost speculative. When I looked at her, I saw that she was looking at me with a very concentrated expression, almost as if she were trying to speculate what I could possibly need to tell them.

After Alice and Beth were both dressed we went down to get Vanessa from the owlery. She spends the mornings there because she loves the fresh air that she can get, and because she says that it helps clear her mind.

And as I thought about what I had to do that morning, I decided that it would be the best place to tell them the news of my dating Eli. I didn't want them to start getting upset before they had the time to think it out rationally.

When we got to the owlery, needless to say Vanessa was very surprised to see us out this early. However, before she had anytime to inquire as to why we were here, Beth said, "Lily has something that she really needs to tell us, I think that it could be important." To which Alice muttered "_better be important" _under her breath.

I decided that this moment was as good as any, so I just went right out and said, "I am dating Eli Chatfield. He asked me out a few days ago, and I told him that I would go out with him. It all happened really quickly, but I figured that I would rather you hear it from me than anyone else, and after all it is only a matter of time before everyone else in the school finds out."

After I finished there was a few moments of silence when all they could to was stare at me with duplicated looks of surprise, frustration, exasperation, and forced happiness.

Vanessa was the first one to say anything, "That is great, Lily. I am really happy for you. I have Herbology with Eli, and I know that he is a really great guy. I mean I have never considered him in that light because he is really not my type, but I am sure that you will be very happy dating him. I am just so happy that you are not alone anymore." She said with a sincere smile, or at least what she seemed to think was a sincere smile.

I looked at Vanessa and I felt an overwhelming surge of thanks that she was one of my closest friends. I could always count on her to look for the silver lining in almost every situation. I had been afraid that she would have been angry that I had not told her, because she is something of a gossip. It is not the fact that she spreads needless rumors about people, but she just loved the _knowing_ part that goes along with secrets. I knew that I could trust her to keep this to herself if I asked her too, until I was ready for everyone in the school to know about Eli and me.

Alice just looked at me with an expression that said more than what she said. She said that she had not expected me to go out with Eli, but as she has never had a conversation with him, she did not think that it was horrible that I was going out with him. Her expression on the other hand said: _Why is Lily doing this? I completely thought that she was going to go out with someone else. And I am sure that this Eli character is a nice enough guy, but I thought she had her sights set on another guy, particularly one that has messy black hair and hazel eyes. What is she thinking?_

I tried not to let her expression bother me seeing as it was completely correct. But I could not let her know that, so I replied with something like "He is a really great guy, I am very lucky to have him." Knowing that it was true, but also knowing that I was not in love with Eli.

Beth on the other hand…well she just kind of lost it. "What the hell do you mean that you are dating Eli Chatfield? I have seen you two together, and I have _never_ seen any special attachment between the two of you. I cannot believe that you would do something like this." She said as she walked closer to me so that we were standing face to face.

I took a deep breath before I responded, "I have always liked Eli, we can talk really easily, and I feel comfortable around him. And I have never really talked about him because I did not think that you would be interested with the little details of my life."

"_The little bloody details of your life?"_ She repeated scathingly before she went on. "Lily, you know just as well as I do that you do not have any truly special feeling for Eli. I know that you like James even though you refuse to admit it. You are scared that if you tell him that you love him that he will turn you down, or better yet," she went on mercilessly, "He might have feeling for you and them you would let him inside of you and he would dominate your every thought, and then you would not be in control of yourself, it would not be _rational_." She spat at the end, mocking me and how I never took any risky chances.

"That is not true." I said because I really did not have anything else that I could say in this situation. "I do care about Eli and I would never do something that cold-blooded just because I was scared of what could happen with James." This was only partly a lie because I had partly decided to go out with him as a thought out decision and not in a passionate moment.

"You make me sick, did you know that?" Beth announced as she started to back away from me as if I carried a deadly disease, and she did not know who I was. "I cannot believe that you could have ever done something like this. And what makes it all the worse this time, is that I think that you know that you have fallen in love with James. If you had still been delusional about your feelings towards him, I might have been able to let this pass. But you know that you love him, and you are only going out with Eli because you think that you will somehow be able to get over James." She said as she stood in front of the door with her hand resting on the doorknob. "I don't think that I can be your friend anymore, if you can do this. Come and tell me when you get your head back on straight and maybe we will be able to become friends again. But otherwise, we are through." She said as she swept from the room.

I stood there looking at the door for the next few minutes with Vanessa and Alice both looking at me with uncertain looks on their faces. Sensing that Alice was about to say some conciliatory remark, I quickly walked out of the room with a barely muttered "I will talk to you later."

I hurried down the stairs and just started towards the bathroom. When I pushed open the bathroom door I quickly hurried to the sink where I just let the tears that were stinging my eyes fall down into the drain. I knew that one of my friends had to have been bound to notice that I had taken a fancy to James, and I knew that the news of my relationship with Eli would have come with a shock, but I never pictured Beth and I having a friendship ending fight.

I stayed there for a few moments as I just let my grief consume me. Everything was just not going the way it should be.

When I felt that I had collected myself enough that I would not start crying again in the hallway, I left to go to the Hospital Wing because I was not feeling good at all. My head was feeling dizzy and I knew that I only had a limited amount of time.

I walked into the Hospital Wing and just walked into Madam Pomfrey's office. I told her that I was not feeling well, and then everything started to spin, and the floor was rushing up to my face, and then everything just went black.

~*~

I came partly back to consciousness when I felt a very warm hand slip in mine. It was really big and very comfortable, and somehow I remembered that hand from somewhere in my memory. Wanting to know who it was, I barely opened my eyes to find that James Potter was sitting in the edge of my bed holding my hand.

When he saw that I had awoken and had opened my eyes and said "I heard that you were not feeling well, and I just had to come and see you for myself. But now that you are up, I guess that I can go." He said as he started to get up from my bed.

A flood of panic swept through me, I did not want him to leave. "Please don't go." I asked sleepily holding his hand tightly, as if that would somehow keep him here.

"Don't worry. I am not going to go anywhere. I will stay here until you fall asleep again." He said with a small smile, his eyes looking straight into mine.

With that I closed my eyes and went to sleep, knowing all the while that he was there and that as long as he was by my side and holding my hand, I would be safe. And I floated back off into unconsciousness, with a contented smile on my face.

**Author's Note: Well, I really hope that you all enjoyed that. I know that it was a little shorter than last time, but I knew that if I dragged it out any longer, it would lose its spark. And I know that most of you are probably thinking that since I have Eli in there now as Lily's boyfriend that there will not be any more Lily/James fluff. However, I think that I have shown you by the end of this chapter that it will not completely disappear from the story.**

**As always…Please leave me a review with your thoughts from this chapter.**

**Love Allison**


	20. Guardian Angel

**Author's Note: I would just like to start this chapter out by saying that Beth did have reasons for blowing up at Lily. I received some reviews asking me why I had Beth break their friendship…my answer is that you will just have to wait to find out what her motives are. (Those of you who asked me in your review, I did tell you, now you just have extra information that everyone else will not have for a while. Feel very special.)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters created by J.K. Rowling. I have never claimed it, and I never will. I just giving them the story that I would have loved to read during the series.**

**Now, on with the chapter…**

Charmed Love Chapter 19

December 4

Astronomy Tower

_Time heals all wounds. Time heals all wounds…_ I found myself repeating those words as I heard someone walking down the steps from their bed chamber. I quickly started gathering the various books and parchment that were scattered around the common room, as I scurried to head down to breakfast that had started half an hour ago. I am usually a very punctual person but I had been doing this every morning for the past week. Because it is just harder to get ready in the morning these past few weeks.

I have always been a hopeless romantic. I believe that every situation can be fixed and that people genuinely want to do good for others. I think that everyone should get a happy ever-after, and that with the right guy everything is possible. And I think that good people deserve to be rewarded.

However, I am not so sure how often all of that stuff happens anymore.

So you can imagine that I thought that I would eventually get over this _thing_ that I feel for James Potter. I had hoped that getting over him would be easy and that after a few weeks of avoiding his presence that I would just get over what emotion that I felt for him.

I heard the footsteps get louder on the stairs as he descended from his bedchamber. I knew that I only had 4 seconds until he would be right in front of me, and then we would be forced into a very awkward situation. I have not really talked to James since the 13th when I saw him when I was in the Hospital Wing.

Only one more second. "You can do this, Lily. All you have to do is turn around and wish him a good morning. Anyone can do this most of all you." I whispered to myself. I heard the footsteps stop. It was now or never, so I spun around to face him, my face set with a false grin that I knew that I was going to need.

"Remus." I said as the breath that I did not even know that I was holding whooshed out of my breath on a sigh of relief.

Remus seemed a bit taken aback from my presence in the room with him for it was clear that he was not expecting anyone to still be here at this time in the morning. However, since this is Remus he composed himself very quickly and returned my greeting with his usual politeness by saying, "Lily, how nice to see you this morning. I have wanted to talk to you for a while to find out what the prefects are supposed to be doing because we have not gotten any updates for a while. Not that us Seventh years really need all that much advice, but I think that the Fifth year prefects are starting to come a little apart at the seams, if you know what I mean."

However, my brain was not registering the fact that Remus was talking to me, even asking me a question. All I could think was…_Why is Remus coming out of James's bedchamber? And where in the name of all that is holy is James Potter, because I did not hear any footsteps this morning so he must have left really early this morning. Was James hurt or in trouble?_ I thought all of these things in the course of a second, my mind whirling at all of the possibilities.

"Lily, Li-ly, did you even heard what I just asked you?" Remus said stooping his head so that we could look eye to eye.

At this question, my mind immediately jumped out of its private musings and into the present time. However, feeling in the state of waking out of a daydream only to find that you teacher has been talking to even though you have no idea what they have said –This has never actually happened to me. But I have read about it, and I think that this is what it must feel like. "No." I admitted a bit sheepishly. "I am sorry, but I just had one of those moments when you are just going along and them your brain just stops even if someone is talking to you. But of course time would keep going, because the world is still spinning and…" I trailed off at the expression on Remus's face.

"I asked whether you had another meeting planned for the prefects to let them know what is going on. Professor Dumbledore has imposed some new guidelines for patrolling hours for the Christmas break that is coming up very soon. The older prefects know what to do, but the fifth years have not done it before, so they are a tad nervous." Remus said ignoring my ramblings on the principles of the world.

_Ohh_, I thought all immediate thoughts about James leaving my mind completely. "I was not aware that anything had been updated, but you can be sure that I will undertake to tell them about the changes. However, now that I think about it, it might not be such a bad idea to have a meeting to refresh everybody on the different rules that go along with the Christmas Season." I thoughtfully replied as I adjusted the strap of my school bag on my shoulder.

But before Remus had the chance to reply to my last statement, my stomach growled embarrassingly loudly. "Oh, is that the time." He exclaimed looking at his watch. "I had no idea it was already so late, and you must be very hungry because I have kept you from breakfast." He finished with a knowing glance in the direction of my stomach.

"It is partly my fault too. I have been going down to breakfast later than usual these past few weeks because I have not been very hungry, and I think that the shortened time is finally catching up with me." And almost as if on cue, my stomach gurgled again. I did not bother including the reason why I had been going down to breakfast later. Usually the fact that Beth and I were not speaking anymore was not excruciating, but since we still shared the same friends, Alice tended to sit with her. And that meant that I would end up sitting with Vanessa and the other Ravenclaws. This was not so bad, except for the fact that Eli would then sit with me, and that meant that I would have to talk to him and Vanessa. And that is not fun at all because they both try to monopolize my conversation.

"_Really, I had no idea_!" Remus said with a strange lilt to his voice that was absolutely dripping with verbal irony. Although, I have to admit that I have no idea why he would be saying that.

_Maybe, just maybe James has noticed that you have not been down for breakfast, and he could be talking about it so much that Remus is finally starting to get fed up with the whole situation…_ My inner voice was whispering to me. Ah, a girl can dream. He is probably just saying it like that in an attempt to be funny and sarcastic. And anyways, if I am trying to get over James Potter, thinking such thoughts are really counter-productive.

So not knowing what else really to do in this situation, I just decided to laugh. It was a really weak, forced sounding laugh, but I guess it worked well. I think that I need to find a idiots guide for how to handle talking to the guy-that-you-like-but-are-trying-not-to-like-because-he-is-not-your-boyfriend's best friend, when that friend is making comments are not helping your sanity.

Looking at me with a fuzzy look on his face, Remus just stood there as if he were mentally comparing me to someone else in his mind. And with that same look on his face, he just pointed to the door as if to say, "Let's just go before you decide to faint from hunger, shall we?"

At this I actually burst into real gales of laughter. It felt so good to be laughing instead of spending all of my time not letting any of my emotion show. Because this was Remus and I knew that I could say that Dumbledore had an orange beard, and he would only roll his eyes and ask me when was the last time that I had taken my medicine. So I just followed him out into the corridor and walked with him a little ways still laughing.

And just as we were about to enter into the Great Hall he turned to me and without any form of preamble he said, "You know who you would be really perfect for? I mean, I know that you are dating Eli and everything-"

Here I interrupted him "How do you know that I am dating Eli?" Fearing all the while that he would say that James had gone back to then with his news of freedom the night that he found out that I was officially dating someone.

"Lily, everyone knew that you were dating Eli last week when his kissed you in the hallway after Defense Against the Dark Arts. So that is just rather a stupid question. And while I know that you are dating him, and must be quite happy with him. I just can't help but think that you would be just perfect for someone else." Remus explained as he turned to look at me once more.

At his last statement, I laughter started to die down and I was forced to relive that moment when Eli had first kissed me.

~*~

_It was after class a few weeks ago when I was having a particularly good day. It had been the first one that I had had in a while so I was anxious to see it continue. So Eli and I were talking as we were walking out of class, and my thoughts were staying happy. And when Eli did ask me why I was so happy, I had said because I was thinking of someone. _

_ However, he thought that I was talking about him, so he just kind of grabbed me and crashed his lips on top of mine. It was dreadfully unromantic because it just felt as if he was trying to eat my face. His mouth was just all over mine in bruising passion. It was not the stuff that every girl hears, reads, and dreams about. It felt as if he was doing it for himself to show everyone how he could make me so happy. But the fireworks did not go off behind my eyelids and my senses did not go all fuzzy and dazed._

_ When he finally pulled away, I could see that there was a circle of students all watching him kiss me. I wanted nothing more than to just slip back into the classroom to escape a further scene. Eli, however, had other plans because he announced in a big voice that we had been dating for the past few weeks._

_ But that was not the worst part. The worst part was having Beth and James both at the edges of the crowd. I could see both of their faces. Beth looked at me as if she could still not believe her eyes that I was still dating him even after everything that she had said to me. And James, his expression was filled with so much defensive anger; it hurt to just look at him._

_ The whole episode finally broke apart when someone who had probably been drinking too much firewhiskey said "So have you two gotten to first base yet?" Thankfully Alice was there to intervene and save me from further humiliation. But the actions have not been reversed. Eli still takes every chance he can to kiss me in public, his theory, the more onlookers the better._

~*~

Pulling myself out of my thoughts, I just simply replied, "Who do you think that I should be dating, Remus?" Not trying to think about Eli anymore.

Narrowing his eyes slightly, Remus said, "I think that you should be dating someone who respects _you_ and loves _you_ more than anything else in the world. I really think that you should be with _James_, not Eli." (Putting extra emphasis on those words)

"Yeah, but for that scenario to work, James Potter would need to actually have romantic feeling for me. Which we both know is not the case." I replied trying to keep my voice level and calm because at the very mention of James and I together as a couple, my heart started to flutter and my stomach started to flip and flop.

I do not know how successful I was because I could feel that my cheeks had flushed bright scarlet at his words. However, if he did notice it, he did not say anything about it, because by this time he had walked me to my seat at the table beside Vanessa. He just gave raised one eyebrow, exactly like James does, as if to say when-will-you-ever-learn and walked off to go sit with his fellow Marauders.

I sat down in a slight daze with thoughts of what Remus had said still playing havoc on my sanity. I absently listened to Vanessa talk about how much she hated Lucy Newick and that she wished that she would just do die in a hole someplace. I just sat there eating my breakfast nodding at random intervals so that she would still think that I was paying attention to her.

I walked down the hallway to Charms. And I just have to thank my guardian angel* that I did not run into any person, wall, open door, or get stuck in those trick stairs.

Waiting in my seat for class to begin, I could not help but let my thoughts continue to stray. I just could not stop thinking (okay, fantasizing) about James and I as a couple. _I could just picture us walking holding hands as we did our nightly patrols. Studying together, well actually I would probably be the one attempting to study as James would be sitting there trying to get my attention. We could sit and eat together in our own little world, completely oblivious to everything but each other. He would ever so gently push my hair behind my ear before he kissed me. And if we did attract an audience, at least it would be worth it._

I was tarred from my private thoughts to see someone tapping me on the shoulder. I looked up to see a pair of hazel eyes fringed by dark eyelashes staring at me. I immediately started to blush as I remember the thoughts that I had just been entertaining. "Lily, I have to talk to you about something." He said urgently as his eyes continued to stare intensely into my own.

Before I could make a coherent reply, because my mind was once again dazzled by his intensity, Eli demonstrating his knack for untimely appearances decided that this would be the most convenient time for him to decide to show up.

"What do you have to say to my girlfriend Potter?" Eli said in a rather rude tone of voice, if I do say so myself. He had sat down next to me and had draped his arm over my shoulders. I cringed inward mentally shying away from him as I longed to be left alone right now.

"It is a free world Chatfield. I can talk to whom I please, when I please. And if the lady in question does not mind my presence, I do not think that you should either." James said coldly as his eyes flashed with anger. "I think that we should leave it up to Lily to decide if she wants to talk to me or not."

I knew that I had to say something in this situation because both of them were looking expectantly at me. And if I were a braver, more assertive person I would have just broken up with Eli right then and there. But I was too afraid of doing that right now, because I still did not want James to think that I dropped Eli as soon as it became slightly possible that he was available. So I just replied with more force than I had intended, "I do not mind talking to James, Eli. He is one of my friends, and I _like_ talking to James. You are overstepping your role as my boyfriend when you tell my friends that I don't want to talk to them."

James eyes twinkled and he gave me a wink as he said, "And I don't have any qualms talking to Miss Lily in return, so you can just go Chatfield." He finished turning to give Eli a rather pointed look that he should just leave.

Unfortunately, Eli does not know when to just stop talking. "Don't think that I do not know what you are trying at here, Potter. Everyone knows that you were mad for Lily, and in fact you are still crazy about her. And you just cannot stand that she would rather be with anyone but you. I have everything that you want." And he finished that with grabbing me by the back of my throat and grinding his lips on top of mine, fisting his hands in my hair.

When he was done with his show, he pulled away so that he could smirk at James. I was horrified at the level of cold furry but yet indifference that I saw there. My face was flushed with embarrassment, as I realized that once again Eli had just made a spectacle of our relationship. He did not kiss me because he wanted to; he had kissed me to rub it in James's face that he could.

James just got up and curtly said "Well, at least I respect her." And then he turned on his heel and walked briskly away to his seat as class was about to start.

I really did not pay attention to that class. But I did know now know a couple of things. I had to get rid of Eli as soon as possible. I thought that he could be a good boyfriend, but the more that I knew him, the less impressed I had become. But I also knew that while I still loved James with every fiber of my being, I knew that he would never ever regard me in the same light. He had just witnessed Eli kiss me, and he had done nothing really about it.

He must not feel the same because if he did, he would have punched Eli in the face for treating me in such a way.

But that stuff never actually happens in real life. I need to stop reading so many novels.

**Author's Note: So how did you guys like this chapter? I know that I am having her and Eli split really quickly, but can any of you honestly say that you are disappointed. (I thought so)**

**And that asterisk after the mention of the guardian angel was not a typo. I meant to have it in there because it is my very small tribute to the Phantom of the Opera, which I just watched for the first time recently and I really liked it. B-)**

**Please leave me a review with all of your lovely thoughts.**

**Love Allison**


	21. The Notes

**Author's Note: So based on the reviews that I got, I have to say that Eli and Lily are going to be no more. Although, I have to say that I was really surprised that you guys responded with such excitement at the prospect of possibly pushing Eli off of a cliff. (You were actually meant to like him when he was first introduced, but I guess that that one did not happen.) Oh, well. And I think that I am going to be moving this story up to a T rating because I think that I am really pushing K+, and I don't want my story to be reported for something as stupid as that.**

**So now, on with the chapter… Once again I do not own the rights to the characters directly taken from the best-selling Harry Potter series.**

Charmed Love Chapter 20

December 8

Room of Requirement

I have never been on to really take advantage of passing notes in class.

Until now.

I know. Lily Evans, Head Girl, student extraordinaire, Miss I-have-never-gotten-a-detention-in-my-life-and-I-think-that-if-I-ever-get-one-the-world-will-have-to-be-ending, has started passing notes in class.

I honestly think that my friends are a bad influence on me.

It all started out as something really very innocent. Nothing that a teacher would have ever looked twice at, but then it grew into something that was taking up all of my effort in all of my classes. And while I do not usually condone passing notes in class, I really do not think that I can condemn doing so when that act is what is responsible for the really delightful, giddy high that I am on right now.

But I am starting to get ahead of myself. I should probably go back to the beginning of my day…

~*~

I walked out of the Great Hall from breakfast with my usual expectations for the day.

I could guess that Professor Flitwick was going to lecture us on the importance of a correctly produced memory charm, and how if you do it incorrectly, or if it backfires, that you can be in for some serious trouble.

I knew that Professor McGonagall would prowl around the classroom as we took notes on whatever she had written up on the chalkboard. Always wondering when she was going to notice that most of us were not actually writing down her notes and were instead writing the fore-so-mentioned notes.

History of Magic would once again be about trying not to fall asleep as Professor Binns drones on and on about how the muggles were once again demonstrating how they did not understand magic. And how during the Salem Witch Trials, because witches would just perform a simple charm that would protect them from the flames, the muggles were really just using up perfectly good wood.

I would have to endure the way Sirius had taken to pointing out all of the embarrassing moments of my love life during Herbology. And have to pretend to become defensive when he attacked Eli on all of his failings. And then to be lectured about how there were other people out there in the world, and how true happiness was a lot closer than it sometimes appears. (But then again sometimes I think that Sirius is drinking more firewhiskey than the wizard limit…)

_And then, _I thought with a groan, _I have to go Defense Against the Dark Arts were I have to be subjected into Eli's presence. I have never been thankful before the last few days that I only have one class with him. I think that the only thing that gets me through these meetings is the knowledge that I will be soon breaking up with that slime-ball. I am just waiting for the right moment._

Then I go to Ancient Runes, which is just really enjoyable because I get to spend the entire class with Vanessa just mutually going through the same torture at the hands of Professor Smittey. She spends the entire class period drawing pictures of the various different painful ways that he could die, with my favorite being that he gets a paper cut from one of the many papers that we have to write. And then the paper cut will get infected with something really terrible, and finally he will die because no one cares enough about him to save him.

And the final class of the day is Potions, which is my favorite class because Professor Slughorn does really like me. I know that it seems really stupid that my favorite class is the one where the teacher adores me, but I really like that extra knowledge that I can get away with most anything in that class. (Not that I have ever tried, but I think that I could get away with most anything should I decide to try something.)

So with my thought so occupied, I walked into Charms, with a pretty ho-hum attitude. _I just really wish that something happen. Hogwarts just seems as if it is starting to get really boring, and I think that we need something there to just stir the pot._ (Little did I know that something on the larger scale was going to happen later that day.)

I trudged through Charms, with little deviation from my normal behavior, i.e. passing notes. However, I did get very pointed looks from Alice, which seemed to say that I-need-to-talk-to-you-as-soon-as-possible-and-I-will-not-tolerate-any-attempt-on-your-part-to-avoid-the-talking-to. And trust me; it is better when you get that look to just either run far, far away or to just accept the fact that she will talk to you.

I decided that I just wanted to post-pone that conference as much as possible, so I dashed from the room as quickly as I could, and then took the longer route to Transfiguration. Fortunately I made it with just a little bit of time to spare before the class began. (Charms and Transfiguration are on opposite sides of the castle)

I sat down at my table and unpacked all of my books just as McGonagall tapped the board with her wand and it became covered with dusty, white chalk. Everyone started grumbling as they took out their notebooks and started copying down today's novel of notes. And I have to say that that is the problem with 7th year Transfiguration, most of the spells are so complicated, we have to spend most of our time just understanding how prepare for the spell, rather than actually practicing the spell.

So as I was mindlessly copying down all of the notes, I just let my thoughts wander. I usually would just think about what I was planning on writing my mother next, because I still have not gotten a chance to write her a response to the last letter that she sent. I basically told her that I was dating Eli and that I thought that he was a really nice guy. Her response had been quite cheerful, talking about how she thinks that it is about time that I started dating some guys. However, I did sense a little bit of surprise on her part because she did always tease me about how James Potter kept asking me out. She was of firm belief that we would just end up together, her reasoning that _if you really hate him as much as you say that you do, you would just ignore him. You must have some reason that moves you to retaliate every time that he asks you out._ And how am I meant to respond to that when you really want her to be correct.

At these thoughts, I found my attention being turned over to the left and down a few tables only to find my eyes encounter the guy responsible for my entire heart ache. And even though, I know that I still technically had a boyfriend, I am not dead, and I have to admit that the sight of James Potter, when his mind is totally occupied is quite a spectacular one. He was sitting with his forearm resting on the top half of his paper, while his other hand was gliding over the paper as he copied down all of the notes. His school robe was carelessly thrown across the empty space of the table next to him, something that I have noticed he does as often as he can; I think that he must despise his school robes. His shirt was rolled up to his elbows leaving the lower portion of his arms bare, but his tie was still pulled tightly across his neck. And his glasses were actually perched straightly on his nose, probably because of the note taking.

I just could not help but think that he was beautiful. How could someone like that even be single, at least I think that he was single. I have not seen him walking out of any broom cupboards lately, but who is to say that he is not seeing anyone. How could someone who looks like that not be seeing anyone?

I felt a piece of paper float down in front of me, and my jaw practically fell open when I saw who it was from.

_Lily, _

_Remus told me about what he said to you a few days ago. And I think that we should definitely talk about it, what with holidays coming up. The prefects will want an update, so I think that we need to plan to get the new information out to them as soon as possible. But before we do that, we might want to have another meeting, just the two of us, to decide if we want to change anything around. But given our past history with these things, maybe we should not have this in the heads room. I know of another place that we could go. Be on the 7__th__ floor around 8:00 tonight. _

_-James_

_P.S. Remember I need a place to talk in private._

What the hell does that mean? I know that we do need to talk, but what is on the 7th floor? The only thing that I know of is the various Head of Houses offices and the Arithmancy classroom, but that is not exactly private because anyone could walk in. Normally, I would have debated the pros and cons of following such vague instructions, but this is James Potter. And while sometimes he can be too reckless, he would not do anything that would get me into trouble, I think…

So I sat there puzzled for the rest of class as I tried to think of what else could be down that way. I did not think that there we any other rooms down that way, and the only other thing that I think could be down that way is a bathroom or something like that.

_And it is not like he is going to just take you to some darkly lit alcove or broom closet so that he can have his way with you. _I felt my cheeks redden at the thought. Such thoughts were really not helping my internal cool right now. I looked over at James to let him know that I got the note. I managed to catch his attention really quickly, and when I held up the note and nodded my head just slightly, he broke out into a wicked grin and he winked at me.

And I felt myself start to blush again, as I remembered the thoughts that I had just been entertaining about myself wrapped up in his embrace as he kisses me senseless. (Something that I knew, just knew, that he would be able to do.)

And before I knew it, the class was over, and I was just sitting at my desk in a daze until Alice stomped over to my desk and said in a rather terse voice, "Lily Evans, you are going to listen to what I have to say, and you are going to listen now. And do not think that you are going to be able to get away from me because I fully intend to tell you now on our way to History of Magic."

Darn, I had forgotten that she needed to talk to me. "Avoiding you!?! Why in the world would I be trying to avoid you, Alice?" I sarcastically replied.

"Oh, you know very well why you tried to evade me. But I guess that it does not matter anymore, because you have to listen to me now."

I grimaced. I knew that I had no option but to hear what she had to say now. But I figured that I could at least stall her, so that I could get out of it for at least another period.

"Oh, Lily. I am not that bad. No need to act as if I am sending you off to your death. I just want to tell you about something that I think that you should know about." She said as she casually hooked her arm with my own.

Only a few more doors and I would be at the classroom. "Oh Alice, you have to admit that sometimes your I-need-to-talk-to-you-as-soon-as-possible-and-I-will-not-tolerate-any-attempt-on-your-part-to-avoid-the-talking-to look can be rather intimidating. I am actually very impressed that you have perfected it so much."

She stopped right in front of the door to look me in the eye. "Well, some just have it, and others don't but when someone is best friends with you, Lily, they get that look down pretty quickly."

"I knew that I had to be a negative influence on someone. All the teachers go around singing my praises, well except for Professor Smittey; it is a wonder that it has not all gone to my head. That is why I have you, Alice, you keep things in perspective." I replied as I sat down in my seat. Reveling in the fact that we were still sitting in alphabetical order from the beginning of the year, I flashed her with my biggest smile.

Catching what I was doing, she looked over at the guy sitting next to me and asked, "Jonathan, would you be so kind as to trade seats with me today? I really need to borrow Lily's notes from yesterday, and I think that it would just be easier if I was sitting next to her."

Jonathan took one look at Alice's empty desk, quickly replied that he would not have any problem with that arrangement, and dashed over to her seat.

I stared in amazement as Alice sat down next to me and pulled out her materials for class. Aware that I was staring at her, Alice turned her head to look at me, and upon seeing my expression just flashed me a cheeky grin.

And then 15 minutes after class began, Alice shoved this note in my direction.

_Lily, darling, when are you going to realize that when I say business, I actually mean business? And that no one and nothing will sway me from that goal? _Alice__

I should have expected something like this. But doesn't she know that I really do not pass notes in class. I mean I have engaged in a few short sentences every once and a while, but nothing like this was promising to be.

_I am just in shock at how you managed to get Jonathan to switch with you. I am sure that he is a nice guy and all, but he is just one of those guys that does not really talk a lot and is more rule conscientious than I am. How did you manage it? ~Lily_

I heard her snort next to me when she read it. Apparently, I had written something really funny, now only to find out what that was…

_Jonathan moved because he fancies Sophia, the girl that I sit next to, and considering the fact that they are both really shy, he wanted to take this opportunity to talk to her. But that is not important; I wanted to tell you that I have seen Eli spending a lot of time talking with Lucy. I did not want you to find out from someone else. I thought that at least you can find out from a friend, and not someone who doesn't give a Knut about your feelings. _Alice__

Wow, I am really bad a reading people's emotions, if I could not see that about Jonathan…wait, what was that about Lucy and Eli?

_What?!? He has not been talking to her; I know how much he cannot stand her. Why would he waste any time talking to her? ~Lily_

It took Alice a lot of time to get her reply to me. She kept crossing stuff out, so much so that she just took out a fresh piece of parchment to continue the note.

_He has been talking to her a lot before and during classes. I saw them together yesterday in Herbology, and they did look really together, if you know what I mean. They were not doing anything, but they were just a little too close together for comfort. I wanted to be the one to tell you about it, because it would be really bad if you were in the same situation as Beth was. _Alice__

I was stunned and hurt to say the least. It is not that I was jealous about it, because I really do not want to be with Eli any more, but it did really bother me that Eli was doing this even though he thought that I was still very much attached to him.

_That just does not make any sense. I thought that Eli could not stand her. When I told him about what happened with Eric, Lucy and Beth he was pretty angry about that. I do not think that he would do that to me. But anyways, it would not be like it was for Beth, I am not that attached to Eli as Beth was to Eric. ~Lily_

I decided that I would just leave out the fact that I am that attached to another guy, but this guy happens to have dark hair and hazel eyes as opposed to lighter hair and grey eyes. I figured that Alice did not need to know about that right now.

_Well, from the looks of them when I saw them yesterday, it appears that his opinion of her has definitely changed… And what do you mean that you are not that attached to Eli? You guys cannot keep your hands off of each other in DAtDA. _Alice__

_Is that what you guys think? It is Eli that can't keep his hands to himself, not the other way around. In case you forgot, I am still the rational one. It is not in my character to completely lose all sense of decorum when I am with a guy. ~Lily_

How could Alice think that I was attached to Eli? Am I the only one that can see that he is just using our relationship to improve his own reputation? I mean, it is fairly common knowledge that James Potter used to ask me out every day…and the fact that Eli is with the girl who turned down James Potter that would be pretty heady stuff.

_Wait, do you even like Eli? Because it is very much in your character to, what was the charming little phrase, lose all sense of decorum when you are with the guy you love. This is really big news, So Don't You Dare Try To Deny It!! _Alice__

No, I do not like Eli! I really wanted to stand up and scream that at the top of my lungs. However, before I got the chance to respond Professor Binns announced that class was over for the day, and I needed to pack up really quickly if I was going to get to Herbology with any amount of ease. So I hastily bid her good-bye, and told her that I would talk to her later.

Herbology was just very tedious today. Sirius was not there today, and only did I find out later that he had had to stay after class in Transfiguration because he had charmed the chalkboard to explain how to make your own dungbombs. I am told that while the class thought that it was very educational, Professor McGonagall did not find it quite so beneficial.

But I believe that I really do understand the expression, you never miss what you have until it is gone. And I do really believe that while Sirius can be extraordinarily annoying, I do miss him when he is not there to make me roll my eyes and shake my head at his crazy antics.

Lunch passed in a blur of sound and color. But I don't remember anything that was said. Alice did try to get a straight answer out of me, but somehow I managed to avoid that one. And then before I knew it, I was on my way to Defense Against the Dark Arts.

When I walked into the classroom, I was immediately attacked (that is the only word that I can think of to describe it) by Eli. He just kind of managed to come up behind me and grab me around the waist. "Hey love," he said loudly as we walked to our seats, as if he were announcing it to the class.

_Here we go again…_I thought as I purposefully started walking faster so that I was walking in front of him which made it harder for him to keep a hand on me. "Hi." I said purposefully, not wanting to get into a conversation with him, aware that I had to start putting some huge boundaries on our relationship, such as no more physical contact.

However, I do not think that he got the hint, as he just grabbed my hand so whirl me around so that I was facing him. "And how is your day going sweetheart? I have not seen you at all today." He said with a sickeningly, sweet smile on his face.

I slammed my books down on my desk. "I have been busy Eli; I have my own private life you know. I don't spend every moment of my existence glorying in the fact that I am dating you. We have other friends; I think that that is sometimes a healthy thing in a relationship." I replied in the same cold tone of voice, silently daring him to retaliate and say something about Lucy.

Only to my dismay, the note from James slipped out of my copy of Persuasion that I had started to read again for about the one millionth time. "What is this?" He said in a patronizing tone of voice, as he picked it up and opened it.

"It is nothing that concerns you." I said reaching out to take the note from him. I did not want him seeing it, because it was something that was special to me, and I did not want him tainting it.

He moved the paper so that it was out of my reach. Then he opened it and read it, his face turning up to see mine. "And were you going to tell me about this." He said in a deathly calm voice, as he waved the paper in front of my face.

"I don't see why I should have to. It is purely a professional meeting. It is not like I was sneaking around behind you back organizing indelicate meetings with James." I said pointedly, no matter how appealing that idea sounded right about now. And much to my dismay I saw that James had just arrived with Remus and was looking in my direction.

He saw were my line of vision was directed and scoffed. "It is just that I do not think that Potter has gotten it through his thick head that you are no longer available. You are dating me, and you are my girlfriend." He took one more look at the piece of paper and crumpled it into a ball.

How could he insult James like that? "James Potter is not stupid. In fact, he is one of the smartest people I know. And he would not try to make a move for someone else's girlfriend. He is too good of a person to do something like that, which is more than I can say about you right now." I could not believe that I ever thought that I could use this low-life to get over someone like James.

"Oh, poor Lily." He spat. "You have gone and fallen in love with James Potter, and just when he was starting to get over you too. You did realize that, didn't you? What he feels for you is just the lingering infatuation that will never go away. And you love him, actively and passionately, don't you?"

Eli's words felt like he was running a serrated knife over my gut, but I would not let him see that his words had gotten under my skin. "You do not even know what you are talking about. And I don't even know what I saw in you in the first place, we are over." I said as I turned to sit down in my desk.

And just when I thought that he had gone away, he leaned in close to my ear and said, "You love him Lily. Love him to distraction. Too bad he will never feel the same way." And with that he was gone.

I spent the rest of the class thinking about what Eli had said. _Did I really love James that much? I knew immediately that that answer was yes. But I also knew that while Eli might have been right about my feelings, he was completely wrong about James's. James Potter has never actually loved me. I just was something novel because I was not falling all over myself to date him. Instead of accepting him when he asked me out, I turned him down, because I did not want him to be able to play with my feelings. But by doing so, I just became a challenge. And I knew that James would never fully give up until he won. But did this prospect bother me, if it meant that for a while at least I would be able to be with him…No. I would accept him on any terms that he decided to give me. _Pathetic_ soul that I am._

I really needed the evening to come sooner, so that I could really have a talk with James.

_**TO BE CONTINUED…**_

**Author's Note: So maybe I am a horrible person for leaving you guys hanging right there. But think of it this way, I do not usually leave you guys with so many cliff-hangers. I originally had intended that this be one huge chapter, but I decided that it would be more fun if I broke it into two chapters. With any luck Part 2 should be written and posted next weekend.**

**All my Love, Allison**


	22. Pure Heaven

**Author's Note: I have noticed that in the past I have complained about not getting that many reviews. So I just want to take this opportunity to thank all of you who have reviewed my story up until this point. I think that 109 reviews is something to be proud of, and I just want to give all of you a big hug and just say thank you.**

**So, in thanks for all of my reviews, I want to dedicate this chapter to each and every one of you who have taken the time to review this story so far. I love you all, and I think that you guys are the best reviewers that any author on this site could possibly have! =)**

Charmed Love Chapter 21

_Continued from last time…_

_I spent the rest of the class thinking about what Eli had said. Did I really love James that much? I knew immediately that that answer was yes. But I also knew that while Eli might have been right about my feelings, he was completely wrong about James's. James Potter has never actually loved me. I just was something novel because I was not falling all over myself to date him. Instead of accepting him when he asked me out, I turned him down, because I did not want him to be able to play with my feelings. But by doing so, I just became a challenge. And I knew that James would never fully give up until he won. But did this prospect bother me, if it meant that for a while at least I would be able to be with him…No. I would accept him on any terms that he decided to give me. Pathetic soul that I am._

_I really needed the evening to come sooner, so that I could really have a talk with James._

December 8

Room of Requirement

Still fuming at Eli and having his words running through my head, I stormed into Ancient Runes with a scowl on my face as foreboding as a black sky on the horizon. I was just not in the mood to have to deal with that idiot right now, and I wished that I had just punched him in the face or something. Alice or Beth would have punched him in the face. Hell, if I had been anywhere, but a classroom, I would have hexed him into next week. And I know that I usually preach, _hexing is not the answer_, but I really think that he just deserved it.

I heard the chair scrape against the floor next to me, signaling that Vanessa had decided to sit down because class was about to start in only a few moments.

And almost as if taking orders from some unknown source, Professor Smittey started the lesson exactly as I was about to start talking to Vanessa. "Today class, we are going to be reviewing over the runes that you have been reading about for the past week. I want you to work silently for the entire class period, because I have to finish grading your tests from last week." He ordered in his wheezy voice.

So, I was not going to be able to talk to her. That could prove to be a problem because I really wanted to tell her that Eli and I have officially broken up. I needed to tell someone, because it was just too hold inside any longer.

_So I have something to tell you. Actually it is something rather big, so don't freak out, okay? ~Lily_

I hastily pushed the note over to her side of the desk. I was praying that she would notice it because I really did not want to have to cause a big scene trying to get her to read it.

But of course, my luck was running out because she was actually doodling in her notebook, completely unaware of the fact that there was a note sitting beside her. And that is saying something because Vanessa really loves to pass notes in class. I mean, she is worse than Alice, and we had all thought that Alice was bad. Maybe that was one of the reasons that they hit it off so well.

I tried coughing to get her to look over in my direction. But that did not work.

I moved the paper so that it was practically on top of her notebook, but she did not notice that either.

Poking her in the arm with the tip of my quill did not work either which really supposed me because I thought that that was always supposed to work in these situations.

Sighing in exasperation, I finally resorted to desperate measures, and stomped my foot on top of hers under the desk. And finally I got a reaction.

Unfortunately, the reaction was just her kicking me in the leg under the desk, and her turning to me to flash me with a smirk.

And not wasting any opportunity and finally realizing that I needed to not be so subtle, I picked up the note, and held it up in front of her face.

Glaring at me, she took the note from my hands, and after writing a hasty reply, I found this note shoved under my book.

_Was it really that necessary for you to stomp on my foot? You know that I have Quidditch practice after school today, and Henry is not going to be happy if I can't play. *V_

I should not have been surprised that she would care that much about the sport. It was her last year, and she was determined not to let anything stop Ravenclaw from getting the cup. But I think that this was just taking it a little too far.

_Vanessa, you are a chaser, your foot is really not all that important or vital to your playing abilities. And yes, it was necessary, because I had tried everything else, that usually works, but you were off in some other world. ~Lily_

It did not take long for her to reply at all; something that I have learned to appreciate about Vanessa. She is always writing back to her mom and dad after every match, because she likes to keep them posted about the game. And partly to rub it into her mom's face that Ravenclaw is doing so well, because her mom was in Hufflepuff and therefore is a little biased, whereas her dad was also in Ravenclaw.

_Lily, when you fly on a broom you need both of your feet in perfect order because you use them to keep your balance. Not that you would know anything about that because you last experience on a broom was in first year, with Madame Hooch, when everyone was taking the flying class. And you have not gone on one since because you are afraid of a repeat performance from when you fell off of your broom. *V_

Why must all of my friends continue to remind and nag me about the fact that I do not fly? Not every witch has to learn how to fly. I can Apparate very well, and therefore I do not need to have a broom.

_And I have never denied that fact. I have accepted the fact that I will probably never ever ride a broomstick, and I would really appreciate it if you would stop talking about that as if I were some magical anomaly. Many wizards and witches do not ride brooms, and as far as I can tell, none of them have ended up in St. Mungo's. And all of this is beside the point because I really do have to tell you something. ~Lily_

I was really hoping that she would just ask me what happened, because I wanted her to ask me about it, rather than just having me blurting it out.

_What is this all important piece of information that you are just dying to tell me?!? Was that enough curiosity for you, Miss Evans? *V_

That, to say the least, was not the response I had been expecting.

_Oh, sometimes I really wish that you would not be so sarcastic. But I wanted to tell you that I broke things off with Eli. I realized that I really did not even know what I was doing dating him anymore, so I decided that it was time to call it quits. ~Lily_

I did not get a response right away; I think that she was just staring in shock at the little piece of paper. However, I did not get the chance to look over and see for sure because Professor Smittey decided to take that moment to walk over to our desks, and I had to quickly pull out my homework.

_Ummm…I was not under the impression that you ever really saw anything in him in the first place. I just thought that you thought that he was a decent guy, so you said yes to him. I was not under the impression that you ever really felt anything serious for him in the first place. *V_

_ When I first said yes, I thought that I felt something for him. I would really not go out with him if I was certain that it was just going to be a fling. I mean, I am 17. I would like to think that I am mature enough to be past the dating-for-the-hell-of-it stage. ~Lily_

And even though I regrettably admit that I would accept James Potter on almost any terms, I think that it is different because then we would both be understanding the terms that it would just end up being a fling.

_Lily, Lily, Lily. Sweet, innocent, Lily Evans. People, especially men, do not get out of the dating-for-the-hell-of-it stage until they are dead buried in their grave for at least 10 years. I really thought that you would have noticed this by now. *V_

"That is all the time that we have for today. I would like to remind you that you have a rather lengthy assignment due by the end of next week, that it would probably be wise if you started in the rather near future." Professor Smittey said as we all hastily picked up our stuff and left the room. I had to say good-bye to Vanessa because I only share this class with her.

And, without any further delay, I headed down to the dungeons for my favorite class of the day. And as I walked I kept thinking about how the end of the day was here. And that in only a little bit longer I would be able to talk to James, on the Seventh floor. At this thought, I was once again confused by what, exactly, could be there that I did not know about.

However, I did remember something that could prove to be very useful in this situation, something that until now, I had never really seen as a benefit but now, suited my purposes perfectly. And they all revolved around a certain curly blonde haired, golden eyed girl.

_Now all I need is for Professor Slughorn to give us a lab today so that I could talk to her without the restraint of having to write it all down._ I thought as I walked into the room. And I delightfully noticed that all of the supplies for potion making were already out of the cupboard.

So I sat down in my seat and waited for everyone else to start filling into the room. Professor Slughorn had walked over to me and was complimenting me on my excellent paper that I had just turned in yesterday about various poisons from the saliva of a troll. And even though I worked really hard, trying to make it interesting, because if we are being honest troll saliva is not that exciting to read about, it was still nice to hear that he liked it.

So the lab started without any problems, and we completed it without any problems. With half of the period left in the class, I turned to my partner to ask her my question. "Alice, I have to ask you something about when you dated Sirius."

"What do you want to know? I am not sure if I will be able to help you, because we only dated back in 4th year." She said with her eyes carefully reading my face.

"Well, you are the only one that I can really talk to comfortably who has dated one of the Marauders. All of their other past girlfriends are not people who I usually talk to." _Yeah, because all of their past girlfriends are not really the nicest people nor do they really have a brain in their body. The only one of them that could be relied upon to date a sensible girl would be Remus, and he has not dated many people. _I added silently in my head.

"And now I ask myself what I could have possibly been thinking, because Sirius is really not my type at all. I think that I was just flattered by his attention, so I said yes. And now I am just lumped in with all of the other girls that he has dated." She finished rather harshly critiquing herself.

"We both know that it was really not like that. When you guys dated, you were very happy. It was not until some Slytherin started the rumor that you guys had broken up, that Sirius actually broke up with you. So don't judge yourself so severely." I said giving her a weak smile.

"Yeah," She said with a sigh as her eyes grew misty, and I knew that she was remembering the time when she dated him. "But we have both moved on, and I am happy that we did. Maybe if we had not dated until later, we might still be together, but too much water has passed under that bridge for anything to ever happen between us."

"At least you do not regret dating him, which is more than I can say for many of his past girlfriends. They all broke up in horribly big fights; at least you are better than that." I said as I looked up to where Sirius and James were sitting working on their potion.

Sirius was known for his melodramatic break-ups, and the drama that came along with them. Part of that I could assume was from the fact that he never dated a girl for more than three weeks. And then after he broke up with that girl, a month later he was with some new girl.

As I looked over from Sirius to let my gaze fall on his bespectacled counter-part, I considered his romantic history. While Sirius has been dating more than ever lately, James has only been rumored to have been with two different girls and none recently. This is not to say that he has not had a very discreet girlfriend who stays out of the lime light, but most girls who date James Potter like to milk it for all it is worth.

"So what exactly about my relationship with Sirius did you want to know?" Alice asked bringing me back to our conversation.

"I just wanted to know if he took you anywhere so that you could have some privacy. Some place that not many people know about like in the west corridor on the fourth floor, some hidden part of the grounds that are hidden by trees, or on the seventh floor…" I finished letting my voice trail off at the end so that she would know that I was particularly talking about the seventh floor.

"The seventh floor you say? Well, I remember Sirius saying something about the seventh floor, but I have no personal experience there. Remember, we were only in 4th year, we did not do anything that we would not want Professor Dumbledore to know about, if you catch my drift." She said putting careful but noticeable emphasis in her response.

Catching her drift, I had a momentary fuzzy image of a man and a woman wrapped up in tangled sheets, without the benefit of clothing. And with my cheeks flushing bright red the image became more defined as the man grew untidy black hair. "Yes, I catch your drift. But are you sure that you really know nothing that could help me?"

"That is all the information that I can give you on the subject. I wish that I could be more help, but I really did not date Sirius for that long. But now I want to ask a question, why do you want to know?" She asked giving me a sideways glance.

Knowing that it is pointless to try and avoid the question, and not even really sure that I wanted to, I answered her question. "Well, the first thing that you should know is that Eli and I broke up. It was just bound to happen, because he was just being a jerk, and making me miserable. And then James sent me this note, saying that he needed to talk to me. He mentioned something about the Seventh floor and I just wanted to know what it was." I explained as I handed her the piece of paper that James sent me.

"Oh," she said looking at the note. "I might be able to find out some information for you about this. I will let you know at dinner tonight. But it is from James? And you are going to meet him?"

"Yes, the note is from James, and I am going to meet him there. I mean, it is not like anything is going to happen because we are going for really regular reasons. I just wanted to know what to expect." I finally got out, because even saying it out loud that I was going to be meeting James left me feeling really breathless and dizzy. I looked over once more in James's direction, and this time I found that he was looking back at me. And Immediately I felt as if there was a humming of electricity flowing in that gaze, and the thrill of it shot straight to my stomach. We sat there like that for only God knows how long, neither one of us wanted to break that link.

It was finally Professor Slughorn that ended up stealing our attention to signal that it was the end of the period. I carefully picked up all of my materials and dropped them into my school bag.

However, during the time that I was looking at James, I had missed the fact that Alice had been watching my face. And when we finally walked into the Great Hall for Dinner, she looked at me and said with a look of wonder on her face. "You fancy James Potter, don't you? That is why you are so concerned about tonight, because you want something to happen."

I knew that she was right, and at this point, I really did not want to deny it any longer. I had been keeping it in for too long, and right now I wanted to tell someone. "Yes, I do fancy him. But it is just so impossible because it will probably never happen. We have had too much water go under the bridge too."

"Lily, how can you, one of the brightest witches in this school, see what is staring you straight in the face. And don't bother even asking me to tell you, I want you to find out for yourself. And nothing is going to change my mind on that note." Alice said as she sat down at the table.

I silently joined her, wondering what on earth she could possibly mean by that. James Potter and I had too much history together to ever have anything that could be even remotely be considered a relationship.

Once again, I passed through the meal in a complete daze.

Now that I think about it, I really do not even remember anything that happened until I found myself walking around the Seventh Floor later that night.

I walked around the entire floor twice and I still could not come up with what he meant by meeting him. He was nowhere to be found. I stopped to just stare at the wall. I needed to think about this.

So I started pacing. And I decided that I just needed to sort out these thoughts. _What could he mean by…I need a place to talk in private, I need a place to talk in private, I need a place to talk in private? Oh this is ludicrous; I don't even know why I did not ask James what he meant. _

And when I stopped pacing I looked forward to find that a door handle had appeared, which was very strange because I was sure that just s few minutes ago, there had not been a door there, and that I had checked every door on the entire floor. However, maybe it was one of those trick doors that only showed up ever once and a while, and to use them you had to be in the right place at the right time. I have never heard of one of them being at Hogwarts, but I was not going to miss this opportunity. So I pulled the door open.

The room was really rather on the small side, but it was comfortable furnished with a table and some chairs and a crackling fire in the fireplace. However, I really only barely noticed those because all I saw was the silhouetted profile of James.

He was standing looking into the fire standing straight and tall with his arms crossed over his chest. His hair was as messy as usual, but then again, I am not sure if I have ever seen it lay flat on his head. His robe was carelessly thrown over the back of one of the chairs next to where he was standing. He was standing there, absorbed in his thoughts, looking as beautiful and as powerful as Michelangelo's David. It was enough to make my heart stop and then start beating hard and fast in my chest.

"So what did you need to talk to me about?" I said after clearing my throat to announce my presence to him, so I would not totally cause him to jump out of his clothes, no matter how appealing the idea was to me.

He turned to look at me, his face controlled but animated at the same time. He broke out into a small smile when he saw that it was me. "I do not know exactly, you tell me want you need to talk about." He said silkily, his voice reaching my ears and causing me to shiver.

My mind was racing. I could not even really remember what we needed to talk about; there were just so many things that I needed to tell him about. I wanted to tell him that I was not dating Eli any more. I thought that since I told him when we started dating, that he would want to know when we broke up. I wanted to tell him anything and everything. That when I was little, I was afraid of thunderstorms. And that cooking is one of my favorite things to do when I am in the muggle world. That I have not been able to focus when I read Pride and Prejudice because all I can think about is him. Or even the fact that he is constantly on my mind nowadays because I have fallen hard for him. And that kissing him under the mistletoe is the thing that I want the most this Christmas…

Oh yeah. We needed to talk about the new schedule for Christmas.

"I do not think that there is much new policy to talk about. We have to get the list for the students to sign so that the students can sign, to inform us that they are going home for the Holidays. And…" I said as he started to walk over to where I was standing. He walked with such a sense of inborn grace that someone like me could only marvel at. His eyes were flashing and the golden flecks in his eyes were starting to become more obvious. And to top this all off, I was starting to have trouble thinking straight.

"And…" He said prompting me, his eyes sparkling, as if he enjoyed the fact that I was having a hard time thinking.

"And then we have to give the list to all of the prefects so that they know how many people will be in their house over break. And that, they will not need to go on patrol as often because there are not as many students roaming the corridors." I said thinking about how anyone that will be at Hogwarts will be trying to find a way to trap their lover under the mistletoe. And then I was thinking about how very much I would like to do that very thing to the man standing in front of me.

"That sounds very manageable." He said stopping right in front of me. "We almost did not even need to create a special meeting to talk about this. But now that we are here, doesn't it seem like it would be a waste of such time not to have some private time to ourselves…" He trailed off as he carefully moved the piece of hair that had fallen across my cheek behind my ear.

Before I knew what I was saying, I blurted out. "I broke up with Eli today. He was trying once again to tell me what I should be feeling, and I just could not take it anymore. My dislike of him has been growing for a little while now, and I just did not want to deal with him anymore." I finished looking into his eyes mesmerized by how much his vanilla and cinnamon smell was intensified by his closeness and the heat from the fire.

"Well, I guess that that will just make this that much less awkward." He said as he moved his head down so that our faces were only inches apart. "I don't know about you, but I have been waiting for this moment for a long time. And I do not want anything to make it less than perfect." He whispered against my mouth. And before I knew it, he was kissing me.

It was pure bliss. His lips were soft and gentle as they applied gentle but firm pressure to my own. And a little hesitant as to what my reaction would be, he was careful to not push this too far.

After a second or so, he pulled back so that he could look me in the face. And with my brain still stunned by the kiss, I said the only thing that was on my mind. "Absolutely perfect." I commented with a smile on my face.

With this encouragement he leaned down again, and kissed me once more. And this one did not end so quickly. He let one of his hands slide in my hair as he moved the other one to the small of my back to press me up against him. His lips continued to move gently against mine, just content to stay like this forever.

And feeling the happiness that we were both sharing, I melted into his arms, letting my arms circle around his neck, so that I could continue standing. Because at that precise moment. I was highly doubtful that the world could get any better than this.

James Potter's lips against mine with his arms around me, so that I was completely enveloped by his sweet intoxicating scent; that is what the poets call pure heaven.

**Author's Note: So there you have it, they kissed. I just want to say that even though this chapter was a little rough going when I first started typing it, that I have enjoyed writing this. And even though authors have a very hard time naming one chapter that they are exceptionally proud of, I have to say that this is probably going to go up pretty high on the list.**

**And just in case any of you are wondering, this is not the end of the story. I still have a lot more that I can do with these characters. James and Lily's relationship has just begun.**

**All my Love, Allison**


	23. Restless Thoughts and Composing Poems

**Author's Note: I am glad that you all liked the kiss at the end of that last chapter. It was really special for me to write, so you could say that I was very proud of it. I am ready to continue on with the story and give James and Lily many more moments together. Hahaha =)**

**Anyways, on with the chapter…**

Charmed Love Chapter 22

December 13

Bedroom

I have not told my friends about the kiss yet.

I have not even mentioned it to anyone.

James and I have not even talked about the kiss since it happened.

And I have every intention of keeping it that way.

But all of those things are not meant to indicate that I am ashamed of what happened between us. I am just so afraid that I just imagined it. I keep feeling as though I am just going to wake up and find out that it did not even really happen.

Because you know that sinking feeling that you get when you walk up a flight of stairs in the night-time, and you can't see your hand if you were to put it up right in front of your face. Then when you get to the top of the staircase, and you think that there is one more stair than there actually is… The feeling of your foot just falling through air…. The sick, swooping feeling that you get in the bottom of your stomach.

Yeah, that is how I feel when I think that what happened on December 8, when I think that it never even happened.

And it is not even just me being a very insecure person. Because if I am being honest, I know that I have those moments. Those times when I think that no matter what I do or did, the results are doomed from the very beginning, simply because I have just having one of those moments.

I think that sometimes the kiss never happened because James has not even tried to kiss me again.

And considering the fact that he has trying to date me for the past, only God knows how many years, one would think that after he managed to kiss me that he would want to do it again.

I have sat up the past hour trying to figure this out. And it is now 2:37 in the morning, and I am still not anywhere closer to an answer that I was four hours ago when I started thinking about this. So far I have managed to come up with this…

_He could have thought that he was just taking advantage of me considering the fact that I had just broken up with Eli. According to Alice, we looked as if we were really attached to one another. He could have just thought that he was using my confused emotions against me. He could not have possibly known that I had considered kissing him for the 2 weeks prior to the entire entanglement. And that it was only a matter of time until I kissed him._

_It could possibly be that I am a horrible kisser. That is something that I never even considered. But what if it is true? What if the kiss was not nearly as magical of an experience for him as it was for me? I do not think that James would do something so mean for such shallow reasons, but then again he is a guy…so I guess that anything could really go in this situation._

_What if, while he was kissing me, he kept thinking, "and this is what I was trying to get for how long?" And then he just started to wonder if I was really worth all of that effort, and the uncountable bruises to his male ego. (Which I must have inflicted by turning him down all of those times.) _

_Maybe, I should not have let him kiss me. Maybe it was just the thrill of the chase was what made me so appealing… Because some men probably think that after the initial excitement, that everything else just crumbles away._

Or maybe he just decided that he does not like me that much to begin with. The same sort of thing happened to me, only in the complete and utter opposite direction.

I only fell more infatuated with him after our kiss. And I bet that you did not think that that was even possible.

But once again… I, Lily Evans, being of sound mind and body, have done what no other mortal has ever deemed possible. I have become infatuated with a guy that is not even my boyfriend. Or exclusive significant other.

I find myself replaying our every conversation over and over again in my head. Trying furtively to find some hidden message encrypted in his casual inquiries of my health, happiness, and the occasional opinion of the weather or homework assignment. I keep hoping to see if he has been trying to tell me something, and I keep trying to tell myself that I just missed it. That would, in fact be true, had I not been dissecting every single syllable that he has uttered in my presence for the past 5 days.

I think that I have even been moved to write poetry. And it is not even good poetry.

It is just some place that I can write out all of my conflicting emotions, without having to worry about making sense, because it is not like I have to worry about people actually reading this. And in the worse case scenario, some English teacher will find this journal 14 years after I am dead, read it and probably find more meaning into average words than I even had planned for when I wrote this poem.

So here goes nothing.

_One day it feels real,_

_Now I am not so sure._

_It was the purest kind of pleasure._

_But now I do not know what to feel._

_I want to believe in it_

_So bad, but I do not want _

_To waste my time waiting, _

_For what might not even be happening._

_I think of you all the time,_

_But I wonder: "Do you even think of me"_

_It is the most acute kind of torture,_

_Not having you here with me._

_Seeing your smile is all that I ask for,_

_The brightening of your eyes_

_That can make me want to reach for the skies_

_Or whatever comes before._

_I dissect your every sentence,_

_Memorize your every expression._

_But is it one-sided?_

_Are your feelings divided?_

_Was that moment, only a moment?_

_Just a slice of pure heaven._

_Enough to whet your appetite, and leave you wanting for more._

_But not enough to leave you feeling any sort of satisfaction?_

_And as I ponder_

_Staring out of my window pane_

"_Is is possible to proclaim_

_That you know the mind of the male population?"_

_You may think what you like, _

_But I think that you are just on some kind of medication._

Don't worry. I am not planning on publishing that in any form of print other than what it took for me to write this down. And some of the lines rhyme, while others don't. I really don't care. That was just me trying to get my feelings out of my brain and onto the paper.

Oh, gosh I really do not have time for this anymore right now. I have breakfast tomorrow at 7:45 and it is already 3:21, I need to get to sleep.

Maybe, something will come to me. Or maybe I will find out that these past 5 days have just been a dream, and I am still kissing James in the Room of Requirement.

A girl can only dream…

**Author's Note: Maybe, I am just a cruel, evil person, but I did not want to make it seem as if once Lily kissed James that all of her problems in that sector would just fly away in the wind. Personally, I think that it is more in character for ****my**** Lily to have some sort of second-guessing that plagues her thought even after everything should have worked itself out.**

**Sorry about the fact that this chapter is really on the shorter side compared to the other chapters that I have been writing lately. I wanted to try writing something that was a little more filler-ish, than anything with any real action.**

**I still hope that you like it.**

**Love Allison**

**P.S. The reason for the poem is that that is what we are doing in Honors English. I actually did write that poem. Tell me what you think. I know that that it is not really that polished, but that was really the point of it.**


	24. Principles of a Friendship

**Author's Note: Do you realize that this story has been on this site for a YEAR! I was so surprised when I realized that because the time has just flown by. And I guess that the saying is true…Time does fly when you are having fun. So hopefully you like this "anniversary" chapter. =)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters created by J.K. Rowling. Never said I own them, never will say it.**

December 22

Heads Common Room

Things did not change for a while. We still continued to stay in our own paths. Not avoiding one another, but not seeking one another out. It was almost as if it never happened. Not that that is exactly a bad thing…it is just that something like that. Well, I was not planning on ever forgetting those moments.

It became almost like a code that we were living by. _Don't ask, Don't tell._ Except for the whole gay-coming-out-of-the-closet part because obviously, we are both not homosexual.

But he was not saying anything about it. And I was not saying anything about it.

Most of the time that works, but there are still those moments when you just want to say _Screw it_, walk up to him and just grab his tie, yank him down, and kiss him with as much passion as you can possibly muster.

It was not until about three days ago that anything really started to change for the, well I _think_ that it is the better. But maybe it is actually the worse…. In any case, James and I have been talking. We have just been hanging out and acting all cool and everything. And it is great, at least that is what I have been telling myself.

But then something happens that really changes how things will happen later. One of those moments when, at the time you might not realize that anything is going to really come of it, but later you find out that that is what put you in the situation that you are in.

Funny how that works, isn't it?

Anyways, back to the story. So we were hanging out in our common room in the evening playing wizard's chess. Which he unfortunately _always_ beats me at, but never fear, I will eventually emerge victorious!

But we were playing and everything, and he had just beaten me in one of our closest games yet. And I was kind of ticked off at him, I cannot really deny that. I think my exact phrase was that I was going to hex him so badly that he would be forever incapable of having children…Something that really upset him for some reason. I think that guys get needlessly sensitive where their _manly parts _are concerned.

So after issuing that rather extreme threat, he got somewhat defensive. "Now that is getting needlessly harsh, no need to hit a guy below the belt." He exclaimed as he stood up and very carefully side stepped away.

"I think that it is very fair. You just beat the pants off of me in this game. I think that it would be the perfect form of retribution. Either that, or you perform the memory charm to take that game out of my memory." I said crossing over to him holding out my arms, daring him to call my bluff. Because in all truth, I would loathe nothing more than losing any memory of the time that I have spent with James. "Anyways, I still think that I should be able to leave you incapable to have children if I so choose."

"I guess that it is a good thing that none of my past girlfriends have had that same mindset as you, Lily. Otherwise, I would never hear the end of it from Sirius." He said in a joking matter.

However, his comment about his past girlfriends had the opposite effect on me. Instead of feeling complimented, I rather felt as though I had just been slapped in the face. It was true. I was not his past girlfriend. I had not been on civil speaking terms with him ever until this year. "Well that is because your past girlfriends are not quite like me. Because if you ask me, hexing your manly parts is starting to look more and more amusing as the seconds tick by." I said laughing weakly, hoping that he would not notice that this response took a few more seconds to get out than my past retorts.

"Well I can assure you, Miss Lily Evans, that that opinion is entirely one sided." He said rather pointedly as he took a couple of steps backward.

I saw that his hands were clasped in front of his pants, almost as if he could protect his manly parts by doing so. The very thought was laughable. As if his hands could really stop my curse if I had a very strong urge to hex his reproductive organs out of commission. I actually did burst out laughing.

That is one of the things that I love most about when I am with James. I feel as though there is a small part of me that just feels happier and freer when I am talking with him. Not to say that I do not have the same joy when I am hanging out with my girl friends, but it does not have the same electricity as it has with James Potter.

It is a truly singular experience, one that I would very much like to continue to experience for many months to come.

"Give and take, which is what friendship is all about. You win the game, and I get to hex your various appendages. I think that that is a very sound agreement." I said with a smile. And while maybe it is not the sort of relationship that I want most right now, but it is still something that not many other girls can claim. And that is something, right?

"You have it right Lily that is what friendship is all about. And I have another thing that I am willing to propose. I will do something of your choice for you, and in return, you will decide that you will see fit not to do any permanent damage to my person." He said as his eyes twinkled bringing out the beautiful collage of colors.

"Quite frankly I do not think that that is a very fair exchange, but I really did not want to hex you anyways, so I am going to let you off easy this time. Aren't you glad that you have a friend like me, James?" I asked looking straight into his eyes.

"Yes, I am very glad that we are friends. More so that you will probably ever appreciate." He said quietly as he gently brushed a lock of my hair behind my ear. And that is when he did it.

He kissed me again.

_YES!_ That was the only thought that I had as his hand slipped to cradle the back of my head in his hand. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, taking in as much of his vanilla/cinnamon smell as humanely possible. His lips were smooth and comfortable. But most importantly, they just felt _right_ as they whispered over my mouth; something that sent shivers of excitement down my spine.

I wished that I could stay like this forever. I knew that I would never get tired of these sensations, but I knew that it was going to have to end. And I knew that it was going to be him that would have to end it because as sure as God made little green apples, I loved this too much to stop it.

I took a small step forward so that I would be right up against him, but unfortunately my two left feet had other ideas. I stumbled forward, breaking the kiss off.

And James immediately froze, and I believe that he muttered some profanity under his breath, but all I could catch was _Merlin's detached left earlobe_, and I cannot be positive that that is correct.

"We should not have done that." He said grimly as he took a very determined step back from me. "It will just complicate things so much more than necessary."

"Why will it complicate things James? It does not have to complicate things. Not if we keep it that way. We could still be friends because there is no rule that says that friends cannot kiss one another." I said probably still flushed from shock and the kiss.

"It just will, Lily. Trust me on this one; friends cannot be friends who occasionally kiss each other senseless, without one of them eventually wanting more out of the relationship than the other one if comfortable or prepared to give. And I do not want that to happen to us." He said setting his jaw into a hard line.

I swallowed hard. I knew that he was right, but I did not want to believe him. "James-" I began determined for him to see it my way.

But before I could even get the second word out, he interrupted saying, "I will not budge on this, so do not even waste your time trying, Lily."

Now that I was not going to stand for, "I think that I have just been insulted. I was not going to be wasting my time, whatever you might think, Mr. Potter."

"Lily, think of it this way, if I thought less of you I would lie and say anything that would help me get into a romantic situation with you. But I value your honor and I do not want to cause either one of us eventual heart break." He said as he turned around to look out the window.

"You are not thinking of me James. You are just thinking of you." I spitted out, watching him intently hoping for some reaction. But I was disappointed because he did not move a muscle. "I have nothing further to say right now as I have just completely embarrassed myself." I said before leaving the room.

I went upstairs and decided that I was just going to forget what happened. I took a long shower and jumped into bed. Unfortunately, even as I laid in bed trying to ignore the pang of rejection that was swimming in my stomach, all I could think about was the kiss.

If only I knew then, what I know now…

So anyways, we both treaded on egg shells around each other for the next couple of days. We made sure that all our conversations were not about anything too personal so that we could somehow recoup from what he deemed would ruin our friendship.

We were careful not to have any physical contact, afraid that something would happen that neither one of us would be prepared to deal with.

That lasted until this morning.

But actually if you told me that something was going to happen that day when I woke up in the morning, I probably would have laughed in your face. Because nothing exception happened that would usually indicate that I was going to have an eventful day.

Although, I am beginning to realize that mornings of the days that really change my life are really never super good or bad. Most of those mornings are just regular days that you would not even bat an eyelash at.

Maybe I should start expecting something to happen on those mornings, if I am going to keep following this pattern.

I headed down the stairs without a thought really running through my mind. All I was really thinking about was if James would surprise me again with his mood swings, and that is not really saying anything, because according to a muggle magazine, I think about James as often as an adolescent male thinks about sex…a minimum of all the time.

But I knew that we would once again run through a very well known script, _Hello James, how are you doing? I am going very nicely, thanks. And how are you doing? I am just doing fantastic. Etc, etc, etc. _Nothing really special or exceptionally note-worthy.

Moreover, I usually have a few moments to myself before James comes down for the morning that I use to prep myself for the day.

Except that today James was standing at the base of the staircase that leads to my room as if he had been waiting for me to come down. This was a very strange occurrence because James is one of those night owls that would happily sleep half the day away if he was given the chance. And being the exact opposite, I am cursed with the inability to sleep past 9:00. So the fact that he was already showered and ready to go was a real surprise.

But I was determined not to let him see any surprise show on my face because I knew that that would not be a good thing. Because that would imply that I remember his sleeping schedule, and he does not need to know how completely crazy I am for him.

Prepared to go about our normal morning routine, I smiled brightly at him and asked with as much sincerity that I could show openly, "Good morning James, and how are you this morning?"

"I am fine, but that is not really important at all. I have to tell you something, and it cannot wait until later." He said looking at me intently.

"What is it that is so important for you to have me know about?" I asked half hoping that he would just not say anything because it is just hard to think straight when he catches me off guard like that.

"I don't want to fight it anymore." He said as he grabbed my chin and held it firmly so that I had no choice but to remain looking at him.

"What could we possibly be fighting? I know that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is really terrorizing the wizarding world, it is not like he is out to try to kill you." I said trying to joke around with him to get the somewhat wild look out of his eyes.

"No, this is not about Voldemort. This is about us; about this electricity that keeps humming between us." He replied as leaned a millimeter in closer to me.

"You thought that it would just be better if we were just friends, and we kept that possible aspect of our relationship shut up by lock and key." I reminded him feeling a blush stain my cheeks.

He exhaled really loudly, "Well, I am an idiot. You know that. I do not know what is right for this relationship. I thought that I could just ignore it, but that has proved impossible to do. I need _this, _Lily." He said as he pulled me forward causing me to (literally) fall into his arms.

And before I could say anything else, his mouth swooped down on top of my own, effectively capturing my upturned lips with his own. This kiss was not like the two I had received previously. It was not as gentle or careful. It was passionate and almost like a drug. I could feel myself becoming addicted to this feeling of complete and utter sensation.

But then I found that he was not kissing my lips anymore, and he was trailing kisses over to my ear. It was such a new thing. I had never experienced this before. When I was with Eli, it was just about him and his excitement. But this… this was something that I could love. I felt the sensation shoot straight down my spine as his lips reached my ear.

"I cannot ignore this, Lily. And I think that we both owe it to ourselves to see where this can take us." He whispered into my ear as he occasionally brushed kisses along my hairline.

I was trying to understand what he was saying. But I really could not string along a train of thought that was not getting dazed by his attentions. "I really do not understand what you are trying to say here James."

"What I am saying is that we should try to give this part of our relationship a try. It may not work out, but I would rather we know that it was not right, than wonder what might have been. I think that that would both nag at us for the rest of our friendship." He said pulling back slightly, giving me a moment to form a reply.

"I know," I said as I looked down to where my hands had clasped themselves together in front of me. "So are you trying to suggest that we should be what the muggles call _friends-with-benefits_?"

"No, I am not saying that, because I know what that term means, and I have more respect for you than that. All I am saying is that we can act like a couple, just without all of the pressure and commitment of a relationship… Does that make any sense, Lily?" He asked looking imploringly into my eyes.

And even though the rational side of me was screaming in protest, I replied "I suppose that we could give it a try." Looking up at him with a stronger resolve than I thought I could posses.

"Okay," He said. "Well. I suppose that we should go down to the Great Hall for breakfast, love" He continued giving me a quick kiss on the nose.

"Love?" I questioned as I walked out of the portrait hole in front of him. "I did not think that we would be using silly little endearments." I replied hoping that I kept my voice calm, even though my heart did a delighted little flip at the word.

"Well, we will be acting like a couple, so I might as well keep up appearances in public. Because we would not want your reputation to suffer because people thought that you would walk in the hallways hand in hand with me if we were not dating, love." He explained smiling brightly.

"Who says that we are going to walk holding hands in the hallways, James? I do not think that that is really part of this agreement." I said as I rolled my eyes at his behavior.

"Oh, really?" He asked as he quickly caught my hand in his just as we turned to walk into the Great Hall.

I looked up at him just momentarily glowing as I thought about how happy I was that I was with James. He is just so child-like and fun-loving. And for someone like me, who sometimes takes life a little too seriously, I think that that is a very important thing.

So keeping up with appearances, (if that is what he decided to call it) I leaned up and kissed him on the lips. I think that this kind of shocked him because this was the first time that I had ever initiated the kiss, but it was still a delightful experience. Still feels like heaven on earth.

"_Merlin's Broken Monocle Chain!" _

Oh, God. I forgot to consider how in God's green earth I was going to tell this to my friends. This should be every interesting…

**Author's Note: So there it is…My Anniversary Chapter. I am really proud of it. Actually, I am just very proud of this story as a whole. I was really nervous when I first put this story up on Fan Fiction because it was my baby, but I have to say that I could not be happier with the way that you, my readers, have received it. You are all the best.**

**And I would like to hereby dedicate all of the various Merlin's (insert rest of phrase here) to my friend Kate (aka BookishBeauty94). I know that you thought that they were very funny to read when Ron said them in Harry Potter 7, so I am hoping that they brought a smile to you here.**

**As always, Reviews are most appreciated. =)**

**All My Love, Allison**


	25. Sunrise on Sunday

**Author's Note: I am going to start by saying that I am back from vacation and that the West Coast is probably, no definitely more beautiful than Ohio. Feel free to disagree but you are not going to be able to change my mind on this matter. I also wanted to say that I am thinking about ending this story by the end of summer. So by August 25, I hope to be completed with or close to completing this story. I know that that is sad for those of you who have been with Charmed Love since the beginning, but I want to start working on Charming Lily. And I will not be able to do that until I am done with Charmed Love.**

**This chapter starts a couple days after everyone else at Hogwarts is back from Christmas Holiday, and because I could not find the particular day of their return to Hogwarts. I just made one up. Quite frankly, this is fan fiction. I am allowed to occasionally deviate from the truth. =)**

**Now on with the chapter…**

Charmed Love Chapter 24

January 9

Charms

I am usually an early riser.

When I was little, my dad ground it into my brain that it is the early bird that catches the worm. And so he decided that no child of his was going to sleep past 7:30 no matter what the occasion might be. Because when he was little he did not have the luxury of sleeping in. His father would get him up bright and early to go paint ceilings.

At least that is what he tells me whenever I complain about having to wake up early when I am on vacation. In theory, that is probably meant to make me feel guilty about the whining. However, I can tell you in full confidence that I really could not care less about what Grandpa Andy's rules were for his REM cycles…or whatever that sleeping cycle is called. Science was never my strong subject in Muggle School.

This, if you think about it, makes it terribly ironic that my best subject should be Potions at Hogwarts.

Life is full of these strange happenings. Just to keep people on their toes, I imagine.

But whatever the cause might be attributed to the effect was still the same.

Because **One:** I have just adjusted to the habit of waking up early, which means that **Two:** it should not be shocking that I have gotten up so early. But that does not change the fact that **Three:** I really would much rather be asleep because **Four:** it is only 6:30 in the morning, and as such **Five: **a time that really should not be seen by human eyes. Unless **Six: **you have had a really good reason for being up such as **Seven: **you have a sleep disorder which prevents you from falling asleep with any ease. Rather than **Eight:** you are not quite sure how all of Hogwarts is going to react to the fact that you are with James Potter someone who you have always been quite vocal on the fact that you would sooner kiss Merlin's uncut beard than him. However, **Eight:** while all of that might have been true, it most certainly is not any longer because now you are convinced that you need him with you to retain your sanity. Even though, **Nine:** it should not matter what everyone in Hogwarts thinks because the only opinion that really matters is that of your friends. But yet none of that really changes the fact that **Ten:** you are awake when you would really rather still be asleep.

Damn, did I list two eights?

Oh, well. That does not even really signify.

Nor does it change the fact that I am just staring at the ceiling above my bed because I am too stubborn to admit defeat and just get out of bed. Because I forgot to ring for the house-elves to put more wood on the fire in my room, so I am sure that the floor is going to be frightfully cold.

Or rather, the floor is going to be frightfully frigid. I think that the alliteration gives it a certain ring.

So I just stayed under the covers, battling with my brain because surely if I could just clear my mind I would be able to fall asleep. Although I am sure the fact that I was just creating a list is not really helping that cause.

After what I can guess was about fifteen minutes, when I was almost all the way asleep, I heard _Time to get up sleepy head. It is the middle of the morning already and sunlight is burning-on. _ This was most definitely not the time or the place where I wanted my father's morning call to slip through my sub-conscience.

So I groaned and rolled over, pressing my face into the soft down of my pillow.

_Come on Lily, I have a lot of exciting things for us to do today. But you will not be able to do them wrapped up in your bed._ Once again came my father's voice from the haze of my mind.

"Okay, Dad. But can I at least have twenty more minutes in bed." I mumbled turning over so that I could snuggle in further to my blankets. "I am not ready to be up yet today."

And just when I was sure that the voice had relented…_But Lily, if you do not get up now you will not be able to see the sun rise._

"I am sure that I will be able to live with the disappointment and heartbreak." I muttered, fully aware now but refusing to open my eyes again.

_Trust me; you will regret not being able to see it. It is quite beautiful this morning. And you are going to get up right now and see it for yourself._ My Dad persisted. Most people who do not know my father often wonder how I got to be so stubborn. But for anyone who had met my dad, it was quite obvious.

It would have come down to a battle of wills, but I knew that he was going to win, because he always wins. I personally think that it is only due to the fact that he has had more practice with being stubborn, but I guess that that does not really matter.

"Fine, I am getting up. Are you happy?" I grumbled as I stretched out in my bed.

There was no response, but I did could almost hear the smile on his face.

If you think about it, that would seem rather odd because you can't hear people's facial expressions. But this was my father, and we are closer than most fathers and daughters.

So when I finally opened my eyes, I just expected to see him sitting at the end of my bed as he takes a sip from his morning glass of orange juice. But, as I am sure that you know, he was not there. All I saw at the foot of my bed was my copy of Ten Things I Love About You, the newest book by Julia Quinn that my mom had surprised me with in her last letter, which I had been reading before I went to sleep last night.

I caught my breath as a wave of homesickness washed over me. I did not usually miss my parents so much while away at school. But it occurred to me that I had not gone to see them over Christmas Break, something that I have done for at least a few days ever since I started Hogwarts.

Picking up my Mom's Christmas letter, I held it close to my heart wishing that I had been able to see them. They understood why I did not come; I had told them that as Head Girl I was needed at Hogwarts to make sure that nothing bad happened. However, that did not change the fact that I missed them.

I slipped on my robe and walked over to my window so that I could watch the sun rise that my Dad had gone through such pains to make sure that I witnessed.

If I was of the mood to compose poetry I am quite sure that I would have been moved by the sight outside my window right now.

The sun was just rising above the mountains that surround the east side of the castle. The sky was set afire by the shades of red, orange, and yellow coexisting together, neither shade trying to outdo the others…Somehow knowing that when they mixed together they provided more beauty for the observer than if they were clashing.

I was not sure how I knew what the sky was thinking, but in that moment, I felt cleansed and whole. I realized that it was just a superficial moment, but I was willing to hold on to this moment with every fiber of my being.

I was struck with the over-powering urge to share this moment with everyone that I loved. My family, Alice, Vanessa, Beth (who I still could not bring myself to not love even though she has not spoken to me in ages), but maybe most of all James. I have never really thought about showing pr telling him about something like this. But it suddenly seemed like the right thing to do.

Without wasting another moment, I rushed out of the door not bothering with the fact that I was still in my pajamas with only a robe on over-top. I simply did not care. The only thing that mattered was being able to share this beauty with James.

But when I entered the common room to find that the guy in question was sprawled out on the sofa…I stopped dead in my tracks.

I quietly shuffled over, careful to make my footsteps light so that I would not wake him up. He looked so peaceful sleeping there, even though I could tell by the fact that his glasses were still on and the Quidditch Illustrated magazine that was tented on the floor next to him, that he must have fallen asleep while reading it last night.

But as I continued to approach him, I was aware of the fact that I was really out of my element here. I could not wake James up just to tell him to come and watch the sunrise with me. It was just so terribly intimate, and considering the fact that we are not even really dating, it would just be unforgivably awkward.

Although, it is not as if we have not been acting like a couple. He is almost perpetually around me, and is always eager to hear anything that I have to say, even if it is rather silly. And when he asks me a question, he just looks so serious and attentive as if my answer is actually important. Moreover, he certainly kisses me as if he considers me his girlfriend, achingly tender and sweet as if he was constantly trying to make it perfect for me…so that it could have been directly taken from a Jane Austen novel.

Almost directly in front of him, my feet must have accidentally stepped on my robe, which was admittedly too long for me, because the next thing that I knew I was basically laying on top of him.

Maybe that is not the right way to put it though, because I certainly knew that I was going to fall. It was one of those times when you are perfectly aware of the fact that you have just lost you balance and you know that you are falling. But yet, at the same time, there is nothing that you really can do to stop your falling. So it is almost like you have accepted the fact that you have once again been tripped by your own feet, but when you do finally make contact with the-object-in-question-that-you-were-trying-to-avoid-falling-ontop-of you still are flustered and confused as to why you fell.

Even though as you have just clearly stated you know exactly why you tripped in the first place. It is just damned annoying that is.

"Good Morning." He whispered into my nose, his voice betraying no sign of surprise that I had fallen on him.

And yes, he literally whispered into my nose. And while I know that that probably sounds really unromantic, that was the honest truth. My face was so close to his face that when he even breathed I could feel his exhale brushing over my eyebrows.

"I am so sorry. I cannot believe how uncoordinated I can be sometimes. I did not mean to wake you up so abruptly." I sputtered trying to hold back the nervous laughter.

"No need to feel any remorse. This is by far the most pleasant way that I have ever been woken up in the morning." He assured me. "Actually I am positive that I can find some way to make this situation even better…" He finished letting his voice trail off as he gave me a wink.

"I am not sure that I can honestly believe that. There is no way that this situation could possibly become more embarrassing for either one of us." I replied as some of the laughter escaped from the corners of my mouth.

"Maybe we are not of the same frame of mind." He said as his arm slipped around to the small of my back so that I was now effectively trapped against him. "I was thinking that I have this beautiful lady with the softest skin," He continued as his other hand reached up to cradle my cheek. "And the most beguiling and enchanting green eyes right here on top of me. So I find that I really want to kiss her, to see if she tastes and delightful as she looks." He affirmed as his smoldering eyes stared straight through to my soul.

With my thoughts an undecipherable jumble and not really caring that they are, I encouraged him saying, "And I have it on the best authority that your lady will not have any qualms about letting you kiss her." And so I leaned down and gently let my lips slide over his.

He returned the kiss with the gentle enthusiasm that I was coming to expect from him. So I closed my eyes and threaded my fingers into his hair, fully aware that I was now completely on top of him, every inch of our bodies touching.

But then something changed, and not in a bad way either.

Suddenly, he gently started nibbling at my bottom lip sending such a jolt of sensation throughout my body that I swear even my toes were tingling from it. I had thought that his kissed before were potent, but this was something else. This was searing leaving me with more desire for more than satisfaction.

This is what I had read about in Julia's novels. But let me be the first to tell you that reading about it and experiencing it are two completely different things.

When you read about it, there is always this sense of fiction because it is not actually happening. But this, James kissing me like this, it was just all so _real_.

And perfect.

And stimulating.

And seductive.

And, and, and…I just could not think anymore.

I sighed from the wonderful-ness of the whole thing. And I do not even think that wonderfulness is a word, but I do not care. This was just to amazing to ruin it by a self-imposed grammar lesson.

James, rather boldly, slipped his tongue into my mouth. And when he started to explore the inside of my mouth, I was once again swept away on a tide of sensation.

And I found that I have a newfound respect for people who write Romance novels because this is just too hard to write down and actually do it justice. My head was delightfully clouded while all of my nerve endings were on full alert.

I did not even mind when he pulled me closer to him so that I could feel the pounding of his heart against one of my hands that was pressed up against his chest. All I could think about was getting as close to him as possible. Something that I'm not sure is possible without attempting to break the laws of physics. (Think about it, you know what I mean)

So, hoping to return the favor to him, I gently bit down on his lip. And I must have hurt him because all of a sudden he broke the kiss and sat up, knocking me off of him.

Immediately, I was aware of what had just happened. I could feel the warmth of my cheeks and I swear that my heart was beating one million beats per minute in my chest. But most of all, I felt really insecure because as soon as I tried to return the favor instead of letting him do all the work, he jumped away as if I had hurt him.

I tried taking a couple of deep breaths, but that only succeeded with making me feel more lightheaded.

_Damn it, _I rebuked the tears that were stinging my eyes and threatening to spill onto my cheeks. I was not going to cry. Under no reason would I let James Potter see that I was insecure about the fact that I had bitten him and he did not like it.

"Oh, Merlin, Lily. I did not mean to hurt you. I know that I had no business kissing you like that, I just couldn't help myself. Would you believe me if I said that I was not really in control of my actions just then." James pleaded searching my face for an answer.

"No, it was absolutely wonderful. I just didn't mean to repulse you like that. I would not have done what I did if I thought that you would not like it. I just wanted you to feel the sparkle too. And, James please say something." I begged hoping that he would just get it over with.

"You thought that I did not like it?" He laughed. "Oh, Lily, if only you knew exactly how much I did like it."

I instantly sobered up. "You did?" I asked praying that I did not misunderstand what he had been saying.

"It was precisely because I liked it so much that I had to break it off. I can't let anything happen that might lead us to having our decisions made for us. And you are a lady, and you deserve to be treated as such." James affirmed as he gently brushed my hair behind my ear.

"I didn't mind you kissing me like that. In fact, I really enjoyed it." I confided feeling a blush stain my cheeks.

James's face broke out into a smile that changed his whole face. "Well I am very glad of that because I can promise you many, many more to come." He promised as his eyes twinkled with excitement.

I couldn't help but smile too at the thought. There is just something about James's smile that is so infectious that you can't help but smile too. "Well, I would not object to having another one right now." I pointed out reeling in the way that I saw his eyes smolder once more.

"I assure you that I can kiss you absolutely breathless." He said pulled me over to him so that I was leaning with hands on his shoulders. And then he proceeded to do exactly that.

And when it was all over he gently stretched out again on the sofa with his arms around me, as I used his chest as a pillow.

I found myself drifting off to sleep only to be roused again by the clock that was chiming the arrival of 8:00. "We have to get going to class James. Otherwise we are going to be late." I mumbled into his sweater.

"No, my love we do not have class today. It is only Sunday. We can go back to sleep." He replied as he placed a few kisses randomly on the crown of my head.

"Oh, that is good because I would much rather stay here." I exalted as I snuggled further into his arms.

Giving me a gentle and protective squeeze James added, "Me, too, Love. Me too."

And the wonderful part about this is... I really do feel loved.

And it is a wonderful feeling, only further cementing it in my mind that James and I are really meant for one another.

**Author's Note: So I know that I skipped over the Christmas scene, something that I know that you were all probably waiting for. But have no fear, I have actually written it. I just included it into my One-Shot, Loving in Winter. So if you want to see what happens, just go check it out. I know that that is horrible, but just remember, you love me. =)**

**And I really hope that you liked this chapter. It was really nerve racking for me because I was not sure how to do a kissing scene that was somewhat original and believable. And at least I like to flatter myself and think that I did a pretty good job considering the fact that I have no first-hand experience.**

**Until next time, dear readers.**

**Love Allison.**


	26. Persuasive Kisses

**Author's Note: I have started posting updates on my profile. Because I am not getting these chapters written and posted as quickly as I would have liked when I was originally planning for this summer. Life happens and I have not had enough time to sit down to write a chapter. Mostly due to the fact that I have seven summer reading books and journals that I am responsible for, NOT FUN! **

** So if you want more updated information on what I might be working on at any given time, just check my profile out to see what my little blurb has to say. Now on with the story…**

**Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own the date of this entry or any of the characters created by J.K. Rowling. However, I do claim the rights to Alice, Vanessa, and Beth. (Yes, you heard me correctly; she is going to be back in the story now.)**

Charmed Love Chapter 25

January 31

Kitchens

The most perfect day to have your birthday on is a Saturday.

You ask why? Well, I will tell you.

It is for the simple facts that if your birthday is on a Saturday, as mine is this year because it is today, then you get to spend the entire day in complete birthday abandon. Presents, cards, friends, no homework, no classes, and the endless possibilities of what are in store for you.

While the weekend has all of those things, minus the presents and cards, it pales in comparison to a weekend when you are celebrating your "coming of age" party in the wizarding world with a bunch of your friends and James Potter.

However, I do have to say that when some of your friends persist in singing "Happy Birthday" every single time that they see you during the day…some of the birthday appeal does tarnish rather quickly. I suppose that I am just going to have to deal with that because I do know that she meant well, but sometimes I think that Vanessa takes what others may call "Birthday enthusiasm" to a whole unheard of level. In my own personal opinion, there is a very good reason why that type of enthusiasm is _unheard_ of, and that is because no one wants to or should be subjected to that.

Anyways, I have to say that the method of alarm clock that I was in for did leave a lot to be desired. When I rolled over in my bed around 8:00, the bright light of the morning was streaming in through my window effectively throwing all possibility of further sleep out the window.

So I threw the covers off and skipped to the bathroom with all possible haste only bothering to stop when my jubilant movements knocked my copy of the Phantom of the Opera off the foot of my bed.

I took my shower, using up the last of my Lily of the Valley shampoo that I had saved specially for this day. I stood in the shower, enjoying the feel of the hot spray hitting my head and shoulders. I normally am not the type of girl that just stands in the shower, but I thought that since today was my birthday, that I could indulge myself a little bit.

Wrapped up in my bathrobe, I padded over to the window to stare out at the Black Lake. I have to say that one of the benefits of being Head Girl is that the view from the tower is absolutely breathtaking. I leaned against the wall thinking about why I had been standing there last night and why the curtains had been pulled back this morning.

_I had left the curtains of my bedroom open the night before because I had wanted to experience the moment at Midnight when I was officially seventeen. It was something that I had done with Petunia when we were really little; we used to stay up as late as we could and when the clock struck Midnight we would make a wish… _

That is, we did that until it was my 10th Birthday. Because that summer I had received my letter from Hogwarts, things between Petunia and I had been ruined forever. Not that I regret getting my letter from Hogwarts, but rather that I wish things could be differently between Petunia and myself.

I have tried to give her little magical trinkets, hoping that that would somehow make things even between us. I don't use magic around her during the holidays, even going as far as doing my school work at night or on the weekends that she is at some friend's house. But nothing has worked. She just scrunches up her face and calls me a _"freak"_; when she even acknowledges my presence. _Now she usually just pretends that I do not exist, ignoring me when I ask her even the most trivial of questions._ I thought as I felt a tell-tale stinging in my nose and eyes. I am not going to get upset about this again. It is not going to change anything, and it is my birthday for the love of Merlin's floppy wand.

So I closed the curtain with the resolve that I was not going to think about that anymore today. I finished getting dressed with just the tingles of the loss of Petunia hanging in my chest.

I dressed in a light blue button down blouse and a pair of jeans and walked down the stairs with every intention of going straight down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

At least that was my plan before my hand was suddenly caught and I was spun around so that I bumped into something very firm, warm and human-like. I looked up and saw that James was standing there holding my hand, acting for the entire world like I do this every morning. Admittedly I do, but my balance has nothing to do with this particular instance.

Before I even got the chance to say sorry or anything for that matter, I felt James's free hand slide around my neck, cupping the back of my head and his mouth descended on my own. All thoughts of Petunia's coldness fled my mind; the only conscious thing that I was aware of was of the sweet barely-there brushes of his mouth moving over mine.

Eagerly I tilted my head back so that I could return and deepen the kiss. And following my lead, James moved his hand from the back of my neck down to the small part of my back. I felt a small amount of pressure and responsively took a step closer so that we were only a few inches apart. I let my left hand drift up to his hair so that I could run my fingers through it.

And as I ran my fingers through his hair, an awkward comparison flashed through my mind. Unable to help myself, I let out a burst of laughter. But I immediately regretted it because that broke off our kiss, and now James was looking at me with a confused glint in his eye.

"What is so funny, Lily?" He questioned searching my face for an answer.

Even though this is James, the guy that I am crazy for, I could not give him an answer. There was no way that I was going to tell him that his hair reminded me of how Beth's hair used to feel back in 3rd year when I used to brush it for her. Even though I knew that he would not judge me because of my answer, I just could not tell him. "It is really nothing. I assure you; I feel foolish for even thinking about it in the first place."

But since this is James Potter, and he is more stubborn than I am, he persisted. "It is not nothing if it made you laugh. For the love of Merlin's brass coat button, I have been trying to get you to laugh for most of my Hogwart's career. And here I am, bloody _kissing you_ and you burst out laughing."

I wanted to say something really witty just then but I could not because another burst of giggles erupted from my throat. I did not even mind that it was a full frontal laugh and not the little peals of laughter that is considered lady-like by my sister's etiquette teacher. All I could think about was all of the stupid pranks that he and the Marauders have pulled over the years. From putting red dye in the Slytherin's plumbing to the fire-crackers in the classrooms, all of the pranks had been amusing.

As the rule abider that I was, I had to frown disapprovingly on all of their antics, but secretly when I was safe in my bed that night I would replay the looks of shock on people's faces and start laughing. James Potter has certainly been amusing.

"I did not know that you were trying so hard to make me laugh." I confessed as I looked up into his hazel eyes again that were dancing with amusement.

"There is no way that you could have possibly have gone the past six years of your life without knowing that I wanted to make you laugh as you are doing now. And now that I am successful, I really don't think that it was fair that you started laughing when I was kissing you." He ruefully stated as he exhaled loudly.

"Did you know that you sounded exactly like one of my friends when you commented on my social cluelessness?" I smiled even wider as I thought of how many times exactly one of my friends had said that exact same statement to me over the years. It was one of their favorite things to say to me I imagine. And then I started laughing all over again because I was thinking about James and Beth and that brought me back to why I was laughing in the first place.

"I can only imagine how much." He said under his breath as he rolled his eyes.

"You think I am teasing you? No, I assure you I am telling the truth. Ask any one of them and they will tell you just how many times they have said exactly that same thing to me over the past seven years." I leaned up to give him a soft kiss on the cheek.

As I kissed my way over to his mouth, I marveled at how smooth his cheeks are. And then I decided that it is definitely much more enjoyable to kiss James just after he is freshly shaved, because after a few days of growth it starts to get, well, sandpaper-y.

Trust me; I have become an expert on all things James Potter, especially in the kissing category. I most certainly do not complain.

I once again let his arm slide around my waist and in turn I let my hand rest on his shoulder, very careful not to let my hand go to stroke his hair. I most assuredly was not going to start laughing again.

However, seeing as he was not going to take this kiss to the next level, I took a step forward and decided to take matters into my own hands or in this case lips.

I gently let my tongue trace his lips and another odd thought occurred to me. He actually tasted quite good. I know that I am probably not meant to think about that, but it has to be a pretty important thing if one is to enjoy kissing their boyfriend.

_But James is not technically your boyfriend_ the annoying and nagging voice said in the back of my mind. We have not changed out status from friends-with-benefits-who-act-like-a-couple-so-that-their-honor-is-not-called-into-question. (As archaic as that sounds) But that is what James insists would happen if anyone found out the truth…which is that we just kiss and stuff because we can't keep our hands off of each other.

No matter how much I might wish that it were otherwise, I cannot bring myself to open a can of worms and ask James to start analyzing out relationship. Because as soon as that happens I know that he would just want to break everything off and then where would I be…

Oh yeah, nursing a broken heart while he moves on with his life.

Which is what we all know will happen eventually, but I really do not want to rush it along.

I plan on enjoying him for as long as I can, as thoroughly as I can.

And just as I was about to tease his lips into opening, he abruptly changed role, so that the perused was now the pursuer…something that I could tell by the ease of which he slid his tongue into my mouth was much more up his alley.

How I lived most of my life without this I will never know.

But I do know one thing. I am not going to let it go now that I have it.

Because the tingles that were spreading across my nerve system so that even the tips of my toes were alive with sensation are just too precious and special to ever let go.

I was the one to break off our kiss again, not because I was laughing, but because I was out of air and I needed to take a breath to keep from fainting.

"You will not distract me so that you can get out of telling me why you were laughing before." James said as he moved to kiss along my jaw-line over to my ear.

"Then you are just going to have to learn to live with the disappointment because there is no way that I am going to tell you what I was laughing about." I affirmed as my hand on his shoulder tightened into a little ball to keep from saying anything that I will regret later.

"Oh really?" He laughed. "I have vays of making you talk." He warned adopting a very poor Russian accent probably in a lame attempt to sound dark and dangerous.

Unable to help myself, I replied "I highly doubt that." The very idea was ludicrous; I can be extremely stubborn when I want to. And plus, torture was banned from England years ago.

"Is that a challenge, Lily?" He asked and without waiting for an answer he continued saying "I think that it is one. You should be careful before you go making bets that you are going to lose. Because you forget, I am best mates with Sirius Black, I know all about how to get a woman to tell you what you want to hear." He started kissing a path down the column of my neck. "I can be very persuasive when I want to be."

I tried to think of a suitable retort to that last statement, but my mind was not functioning. All I could concentrate on was the intoxicating way that his lips were placing hot, long kisses all over my neck and the parts of my collarbone that was exposed by the cut of my shirt.

I felt the hand that had still be holding mine slip out of my grasp and wrap around my back right under the level of my shoulders pulling me right up against him. I kept thinking that I was going to explode, that my mind would suddenly snap because of the torrent of sensation that was clouding my senses.

In a futile attempt to clear my head I tried to pull my head back as far as I could, unfortunately that only further exposed my neck to his kisses and finally I just got tired of trying to fight it, and I surrendered to the warmth and just decided, _what the hell, as long as I do not say anything I see no reason why I cannot enjoy this. Just as long as nothing happens and we both keep all of our clothing on our respective bodies where they belong. Because I am just not ready not to be a virgin anymore, and I do not even know if it would be James's first time too_…_And why for the love of Merlin's nose hairs am I thinking about THAT! _

"Is that persuasive enough for you?" James asked as he suddenly pulled away to rest his forehead against mine, effectively bringing me back down to Earth.

"Wait, what are you talking about?" I questioned as I blinked a couple of times to clear my head and to reorient myself to the planet.

"Nothing of any really significance." He said as he gently tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "I was just telling you how wonderful you look today and how much your Lily of the Valley shampoo really suits you." He smiled as he stepped out of our embrace but not before giving me a quick kiss on the nose.

I stood there with my eyes closed for a few minutes as I just absorbed how content I truly was. I know that it seems stupid how many times I think that while I am with James. But I really do have to agree with what James used to say when he was teasing me about us being a match made in heaven, because we just perfectly suit each other.

He is lighthearted when I get to serious. I make him smile when he is stressed out over a big Quidditch Match even though I will never get why it is so important to him. He respects my need to do all of my homework two days before it is due, and I understand why he likes to hang out with his fellow Marauders and pull a few harmless pranks.

In short, he does complete me.

"Lily" I heard him call from the other side of the room. I finally opened my eyes to see that he was standing by the portrait hole with his hand outstretched so that we could walk down to the Great Hall together for breakfast as is our recent custom.

So instead of replying, I simply picked up my battered copy of Northanger Abby and walked over to the door.

When I got there, I slid my hand into his, never getting over the feeling of security that it brings. I looked up into his smiling eyes and I find myself smiling for no other reason than he is smiling.

"Oh and Lily?" James starts saying as he leads me up the stairs and then pauses to allow the staircase to move.

"Yes, James." I reply giving his hand a slight squeeze.

"Happy Birthday, love." He whispers into my ear after giving me another kiss on the mouth.

_**TO BE CONTINUED…**_

**Author's Note: So I had originally planned to have her entire birthday be in one chapter, but as I started writing this I decided that I was not going to do that. I know that one huge, monstrous chapter on steroids would be what you, my darling readers want, but I just do not have the patience to do that. That was part one of Lily's birthday. I hope that you enjoyed it. **

**I know that it is a little more PG or possibly PG-13 than I usually write, but I wanted to test my writing abilities and see if I could actually write a few decent romantic-kissing scenes. But don't worry, this is not going to turn into anything smutty or into an English Class Sponge (literary porn).**

**So until next time, I remain your dedicated servant in Fan Fiction,**

**All my Love, Allison.**


	27. Birthday Suprises

**Author's Note: I know that it has been about a month since I last updated. I probably do not deserve all of your wonderful patience with me while I battle against writers block and just plain laziness. Admittedly it was more of the latter than I would really care to admit. Hehe =)**

**Regarding James and Lily's relationship, it has been brought to my attention that they "really need to have a talk" and I acknowledge this. But please understand me when I say that everything will happen in due time. So does that mean that they will eventually become a completely official couple…YES! But does that mean it will happen in this chapter or possibly the next one…NO! Just trust that I, your dear author, would not leave you hanging after all of this time and not eventually put them in a relationship. **

**WARNING THE END OF THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SOME MORE MATURE CONTENT. Nothing too bad, but I just wanted to tell you so that you are not caught completely unaware.**

**Now that that is out of the way, on to the second half of Lily's seventeenth birthday.**

Charmed Love Chapter 26

January 31st

Window Seat, Common Room

"Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday Dearest LILY! Happy Birthday to you!"

I had barely stepped into the Great Hall and all ready Vanessa was skipping around me in a circle throwing pieces of confetti (that suspiciously looked like her Ancient Runes homework upon closer examination) into my face.

"Thank you, Vanessa." I sputtered trying to get the piece of her chopped up homework out of my mouth. Not getting anywhere with my attempts to dislodge the offending paper, I had to peel it off of my tongue with my fingers.

I heard a snort of laughter coming from my immediate left causing me to turn and face James whose face was turning red in an attempt to keep the laughter that was no doubt bubbling up inside of him, silent as to not embarrass me further.

_Well, if he thinks that is funny, I should really give him something to laugh about._ I thought as I took the wet piece of confetti and stuck it on the end of his nose.

After he realized what I had done, he tried his best I-am-completely-innocent-so-what-was-that-for look. So I just rolled my eyes and kissed him on the cheek. Men! When will they ever learn?

"Eww! Lily, what would you do that for? All of my hard work is not slobbered on and is now stuck to the end of your boyfriend's nose." I had told Vanessa how things stood between James and I; I had to tell someone how things were really standing between the two of us, and if you can't trust your friends, then who can you trust. But she just scoffed and has continued anyways, deeming us "Hogwarts' very own Star-Crossed Lovers".

_Friends._ Can't live with them, don't even want to try living without them. Because there was a time when I was really little that I did not have many friends, and all I did was talk to myself. In case for some reason you were wondering, that most certainly did not encourage anyone to become my friend.

I seated myself, rather graciously considering my track record, into my usual seat across from James and next to Remus. I liked the arrangement that we have had going ever since James and I have become an item. We sit with the Marauders now at meal times almost religiously.

"Happy Birthday dearest Lily! Happy Birthday to you." Vanessa continued to sing as she rested her head against her boyfriend, Ernie's, shoulder. They have been going strong for the past couple of weeks and they were both very happy with each other. And if for any reason I somehow doubted his affection for my crazy curly-haired friend, I certainly do not have any questions now because anyone would willingly sit that close to the noise she was making, and still keep his arm wrapped around her waist affectionately, he must _really_ like her.

"Hey, St. Prongs," Sirius stage whispered into Alice's ear using the nickname that he has given her, even though he knows just as well as I do that her name is St. John, but then again, Sirius probably just thinks that he is funny. "Do you think that Edwards is going to keep on with her mating call all throughout the day, because I really do value my hearing."

Any response that Alice might have offered was drowned out by Vanessa's singing which coincidentally got louder and even further off any recognizable key, something I severely doubted was possible.

Just enjoying the company, I served myself some of the fruit and muffins that were sitting on the table in front of Remus.

"Oh, I did not even know that we were celebrating your birthday Lily. And here I thought that Vanessa and Alice kept me hostage all night cutting up tiny pieces of paper for my health." Remus said a little too brightly, so that I knew that he was really annoyed by it.

Feeling bad, I replied. "I really hope that they did not do you any permanent bodily harm in the process." I know what it is like to get suckered into one of their grand schemes; I have spent many an evening helping them with their plans.

"Well, I did manage to get a couple of paper cuts from the confetti making, but I don't think that you could call that bodily harm. However, that was my first clue that I it could not have been for my own health." He smiled as he showed a particularly long cut on his left index finger.

Obligingly, I looked down and examined his cut "It does not look too bad, but I know what you could do if you wanted them to feel really bad."

"It is not like I could sue them or anything." He chuckled. Remus actually knows what that is considering the fact that he grew up in a mixed community not far from where my grandparents live.

"Oh believe me," I said leaning forward conspiratorially "I have heard about someone who is going to sue their neighbors just because they cut their lawn diagonally instead of vertically."

Remus broke out in a mischievous grin. "Do you think that you could do me a favor and check out my finger again because it suddenly feels as if it has magically become infected in the last minute."

"Of course, anything for you my dear friend." I swear anyone who thinks that Remus Lupin is a saint is clearly mistaken. His reputation might not be as black as James's or Sirius's but he definitely could have fun with the rest of the boys.

"Oi! Let go of my Lily's hand." James interrupted grabbing my hand away from Remus's in an uncharacteristic display of possessiveness.

"He was not holding my hand James." I spat at him planting my hands on my hips in a maternal fashion, a position I have used more when talking to James than any other person on the planet. And even though my heart gave a little flip when he called me his, I knew that I had to let him know that such behavior is not okay.

"It does not matter who was holding whose hand. The bottom line is that any part of your anatomy is not going to touch any part of any other male's anatomy while you are my girl." James retorted, his eyes steeling over.

"Well if that is not the most testosterone filled comment of the century. You have not stuck your flag on top of my head proclaiming to the world that I am your property. And until that happens, which you can be positive that it won't, you will not tell me what to do." I said as I ripped the blueberry muffin on my plate in two.

"I can see that I shall have to go buy a flag pole because you obviously have yet to fully get the message that we are together, I have not spent the past few weeks constantly by your side for the message not to be clear to everyone, and I mean _everyone_, that any part of your soft skin is most definitely NOT up for grabs." He finished as he reached up to gently stroke my cheek.

"I am not going to go around offering myself to anyone else. I am not that type of girl. But James, this is the 21st Century, so if you still think that a lady cannot even touch another guy in passing, then you really need to update your thinking." I usually did not mind James's old school ways because I found them oddly touching, but this was just going a tad too far, this was Lupin we were talking about for the sake of Merlin's frayed pajama pants.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LILY!" Vanessa's song filled the silence that followed my last comment. James was just looking into my eyes, trying to decide how to answer that question. It only came to my attention that breakfast was almost over and everyone else at the table was just sitting there watching us.

"I have got to get away from this noise!" Sirius shouted/pleaded with the heavens. "I am going to go down to the lake so that hopefully without the confines of this hall, the acoustics will not be as good outside and I can drown out the screeching."

I quickly stood up and followed him out onto the grounds. I did not care to go outside as much as just get away from James because I did not know how I was going to respond to whatever he was going to say.

James caught up with me no problem, and gently grabbed my arm so that I would stop walking forward. "I don't want to argue with you, but I want you to know that I _can't _just let other guys touch you. You are my Lily, and you are more special to me than you could ever imagine." He breathed onto my ear, his warm breath sliding over the contours, settling on it warm and moist, as intimate as a kiss.

Processing this in my mind, I closed my eyes and let myself blush, aware that I was not really angry with him; I just did not want him telling me what to do. "I am not going to even let other guys touch me. But can't you trust me where your own friends are concerned. I hardly think that any of them have any designs to take me away from you."

"Unfortunately Lily, that still leaves all of my enemies." He joked as he leaned his forehead against my own.

"The Slytherins would rather cut off their own testicles than have a red-headed mudblood for a girlfriend. So I do not think that you have too much to worry about." I closed the distance between our lips and kissed him enticingly for no other reason than I could.

"Stupid Slytherins do not know what they are missing then. Because they have no idea what they are missing out on." He said as he enthusiastically pulled me against him so that one of my legs was in between his own.

I felt the now expected heat flood across my skin, so that when the cold substance that hit me in the back of the neck, I figuratively jumped five feet into the air. "What was that for?" I yelled at Alice and Sirius who were bending down to gather up some more snow.

"We were trying to have a snowball fight, but you two love birds want to do nothing but glue yourselves together every free moment that you have." Alice quibbled as she threw another snowball my way, which I thankfully dodged.

"We do not glue ourselves together ever chance that we get. We-we" I fumbled for the right word as I looked back at James for support, who merely shrugged. "We were making up, because we just had an argument." I know that it was not exactly the truth, but it was not exactly a lie either. We were arguing, but that was not the reason we were kissing…Anyways that was the best that I could do on a lie.

"It looked more like making _out_ to me, but then again I could just be confused because I have not done so myself for a little while." Sirius added. "But I have to hand it to you guys, I always thought that having sex lessened the public displays of affection, but you guys must really not be able to keep your hands off of one another." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"We were making up because that is what all couples should do and…" I trailed off, thinking, _did they really all think that James and I have been having sex. I know that we have been really close lately, but did they honestly think that we have been long enough together to be having SEX. I mean, that is a super huge step. I am totally not ready to give away my virginity._ "James and I are not having sex."

"Yeah, Padfoot, things are not like that between us. I have told you that before." James replied looking slightly embarrassed by his friend's outburst.

"Oh, I see. Sorry, I just jumped to the wrong conclusion. So, who is up for that snowball fight?" He asked looking un-disturbed by the abrupt change of conversation.

"I am game, but I hope that you realize that I am going to have to get you back for that comment Padfoot. And just saying so there are no hurt feelings later, buddy old pal, I highly believe that my Chaser abilities are going to totally trump your Beater ones." James said letting his old cockiness show through.

"Uh, Lily. Can I talk to you for a second?" I heard a familiar voice say from behind me. I turned around to find that for the first time in a long while, I was going to be talking to Beth Foster. She was standing there in her old black woolen coat, her honey colored curls standing out bright against the darkness of her jacket and the whiteness of her background.

"Of, course." I replied as I bit the inside of my lip.

She waited for James to leave before she began talking to me. "I have seen that you are not with Eli Chatfield anymore." She began, coming right out and saying what she wanted to say in true Beth fashion.

"So because I am not with him anymore, you want to be my friend again." I said unable to keep the coldness from my voice. I knew that the mature thing to do is to be friendly and not hold a grudge, but it had not changed the fact that she just up and stop being my friend as soon as I started going out with Eli.

"No, it is not that. I just did not want to see you settling for Eli. Because I could tell that even then you liked James more that you could ever admit to yourself. My older sister has always told me never to settle for anything, and that is exactly what you were doing with Eli. You just decided that you were going to go out with him because he showed some interest in you." Beth explained.

"Ah, Beth, I was not settling. I did believe that I could grow to like him back. What I did not foresee was his acting like an asshole later in our relationship. Eli was a good guy, before he became a controlling loser." I said as I raked my hand through my hair.

"But what did you honestly know about him before you decided to go out with him?" Beth interjected.

That stopped me, and I realized that I did not know a whole lot about Eli before I went out with him except for the fact that he likes Transfiguration but hates Charms. That was not a whole lot to base a relationship off of.

"That is what I thought. Don't you see? That is the same thing that happened to me when I went out with Eric. If I had known more about him, I would have been able to see that he was a two-timing snot face. But I didn't do that. And you were off making the same mistakes as I was. I could not have my best-friend making the same decisions I had. I thought that if I made a big enough fuss that you would come to your senses and break it off with Eli." Beth pleaded with me to see her side of the situation.

And as much as I hate to admit it, I could see where she was coming from. I understood why she would not have wanted me in the same type of relationship that she had been in. And in Beth's own strange way…I knew that she really never hated me.

"That was all. You thought that I was making a mistake. I thought that you did not want to be my friend anymore just because I was not doing what you were saying and flinging myself at James Potter." I squeaked, all the months of hurt flooding into my voice making it sound high and childish.

"I will always want to be your best-friend, Lily. We had been together for too long to throw it all away now. Please believe me when I say that I never intended to not speak to you for so long. Ever since I said those things I have been trying to find a way to apologize, but the right moment never came along." Beth reached out to grab my hand and give it a friendly squeeze.

Looking down at our hands, I thought of the past few months of not being her friend, and I knew that it was for only stupid reasons that I would not accept her apology and stay mad at her. So I reached out and crushed her in a hug telling her that I forgave her. It did not matter anymore because we _were_ too good of friends to let something like this come between us permanently.

"So are we friends again, Lily" Beth queried as she stepped out of our hug.

I subtly moved over to a tree and grabbed a handful of snow off of one of the branches, "Definitely." I affirmed as I threw the snow in her face, thus effectively joining in the snowball fight that was battling on between our friends in full swing behind us.

We laughed and joked around for the rest of the afternoon, while Vanessa continued to sing "Happy Birthday" constantly in the background. And much quicker than any of us wanted, the sun was setting over the grounds and it was starting to get dark and colder out, signaling that it was time to call it a night.

James and I parted from the rest of the group on the stairs because they all needed to take different staircases to get to their respective common rooms. I was carrying a bag of all the little trinkets that my friends had gotten me.

The Marauders had gave me a variety pack of joke products, their reasoning that if I was going to be dating their friend, that I had to get used to having these sorts of things in my possession. I laughed and smiled appreciatively even though I think that the bulk of them will just be given to James anyways.

Vanessa gave me a mix CD of all of her favorite wizard singing groups. She has been trying to introduce me to some of the popular wizard songs so that I can become a better teenager, which means that I will have to actually listen to them eventually.

Alice gave me a new copy of Northanger Abbey, being the only one of my friends who can fully understand and agree with my reading obsession. All of the others think that I am crazy that I would spend my hard earned galleons on books, thankfully one of them gets it, or otherwise I think that I might go insane.

Even Beth remembered my birthday and slipped it into my possession right before we left. It was a new leather bound journal that I plan on using just as soon as I finish up all of the spaces in this one. Because she knows that I am always writing in this one, so she figured that I would at least get good use out of it. I could not have been more touched or surprised by any gift.

Once again hearing James laugh about something next to me, I turned to him and asked him what in the world he could be laughing about.

"I was just thinking that without Vanessa singing, I almost forgot that it was your birthday for a matter of seconds." He answered as the corners of his lips turned up in a smile.

"I know what you mean. I think that Vanessa takes the term birthday cheer to a whole new level. I do not think that anyone else in the world has ever had their birthday as fully celebrated as mine was today." I agreed thinking about the singing to the confetti throwing.

"Well I hope that you would not be entirely averse to another sort of birthday present." James suggested as he turned around to face me in front of the common room fire.

"That all depends on the type of birthday present, I swear I will not be pleased if you have gotten leprechauns to sing and dance around me just because it is my birthday." I teased, secretly hoping that he had not done something as stupid as that.

"I was thinking something of a more personal nature." He corrected before his lips descended upon my own. "Would that be a more acceptable birthday present?" He asked as he gently nibbled and licked my bottom lip.

And almost like clockwork, my brain shut off and my legs melted like butter on hot toast. In order to stay upright I had to cling to his chest, a task that was not difficulty at all. His shoulders were strong and comforting, and just the right width that I could hold onto for dear life.

"Should I take that as a Yes, Miss Evans?" He chuckled causing the air to tickle against my neck sending little shivers down my spine.

Not even deeming that worth a response I just threaded my fingers through his jet black hair and planted butterfly kisses on every inch of skin that I could get to.

With both of his hands around my waist he started to move, and not wanting to break contact with him, I blindly followed even though I had no idea what was on his mind. Before I knew what had happened I was lying on my back on the carpet that was warmed from the fire in front of the hearth.

"No response I see, and usually you are never without a witty comment." James continued prodding for an answer as he moved to place those intoxicatingly hot kisses on my collarbone.

Or maybe I should correct my last statement, at least no response that can be expressed in the English language…" He whispered as he moved so that every last inch on him was on top of every last inch of me. I think by his comment about the _no response that can be expressed in the English language_ had to do with the, well I don't know what exactly it was…But whatever-the-hell it was that came out of my mouth when he carefully sucked at the place where I could feel my pulse pounding wildly on my neck.

"You are not even being fair…I can't straight think." Even to the point where all of the grammar rules that was grounded into my head as a little girl went flying out the window.

"Don't think. Just go with what you are feeling." He coaxed as I felt a very warm hand on the bare skin at the small of my back.

I did not even know how he got his hand anywhere near under my shirt. I knew that I should be offended, or at the very least appalled. But all I could think about was how having his hand there was making my entire being warm and the only thing that I knew was that I wanted it to stay there for all eternity.

"I feel, like the world becomes a much more dangerous but wonderful place when one is on one's back. And that I don't understand what it going on, but I don't want it to stop anyways. I don't think that I ever want this to stop. We should do this all the time." I replied as I tried to pull him closer against myself, that someone if I held him close enough that we could be one.

I did not realize that I had actually verbalized that wish until suddenly James stopped. I heard him mutter a curse under his breath before he rolled off of me with great reluctance.

Not knowing why he had so suddenly stopped when I had not wanted him to, I sat up so that I could look him in the eyes. "Why did you go? I didn't want you to stop." I said not even bothering to care how pathetic I must sound.

"Oh, for the love of Merlin's baggy pants, Lily, do you know what almost just happened here?" When I did not respond he continued, "I almost just broke every principle that my parents have beaten into me. And I cannot do that with you. Everything has to be perfect. I am not going to let anything stop it from making it as wonderful as your first time should be."

I was too stunned to speak. It was as if my mind had completely numbed over, and all I could think was that I did not care. I would not have regretted the decision if we had ended up making love right here and now. It would have been perfect to me because it was with James, the only guy I could ever imagine getting that intimate with.

"Oh, if that is what you want." I replied woodenly, feeling as if it was someone else who was speaking.

"Yes, it is what I want. It is what I want for us both, because I am not going anywhere. I don't want anything to happen that would make it impossible for us to be together anymore. Because when people have sex, Lily, things change. They might not want it to change, but they do. I care about you more than to just take your virginity when we are both lost in the moment. Because it needs to be more than a moment; it needs a lifetime for either one of us to be satisfied." James finished, standing up and offering his hand so that I could get up.

"A lifetime?" I questioned just to makes sure that I heard him correctly and to make sure that I was not dreaming.

"A lifetime for you and me, Lily." He promised, placing a kiss on my knuckles before he turned and left the room.

I sat down at the window seat, staring blankly at the sunset that was casting reds and oranges across the Black Lake.

According to the old saying "Red sky at night, sailor's delight." That seemed like a good omen.

A Lifetime sounded perfect for me too.

**Author's Note: I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. It is even on the longer side of the spectrum given my past updates. And if any of you are wondering why James did not give her a formal present (because James is not **_**that**_** much of a tool to think that the ****major**** kissing scene was enough to be her present) all I have to say is that good things come to those who wait. And in the case with my awesome (or not so awesome) updating skills, that is certainly the case with this story.**

**Please leave a review with your thoughts; I treasure each and every one that I receive.**

**All my Love, Allison.**


	28. The Conversations that Happen at Lunch

**Author's Note: Ta-DA! Another update, I bet you all have just fallen off of your various computer chairs when you saw that I am updated so quickly. I just had a very…helpful (tad on the brutally honest side) review and it has prompted me to update so quickly. Just so you know, (you know who you are) all of the contractions in this chapter and hopefully all chapters to come are dedicated to you and only you. =)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters created by J.K. Rowling. I just thank the heavens that there is a site like this so that I can be nerdy and write my own story.**

Charmed Love Chapter 27

February 11

History of Magic

"Miss Evans, did this letter just fall out of your bag?" Professor Smittey asked as I gathered up my bags and headed out of the Ancient runes classroom.

"No, Professor. I don't have a letter in my possession." I replied as I turned around just outside the door, careful not to drop the bottle of ink that I was holding in my hand because it was the last one that I had in my stock.

"Well, that is peculiar because the letter is clearly addressed to Lily, and it is for the occasion of her 17th birthday. Which, thanks to Miss Vanessa, the entire class is well aware that you celebrated just a couple of days ago." He snorted as he probably remembered Vanessa's charming singing.

"I didn't say that the letter in question is not mine, I just said that it was not in my possession. That is a true statement because it _isn't_ in my possession because you are holding it; therefore it is in your possession." I replied giving him a cheeky smile.

"Very well, Miss Evans. But I would remind you that you are talking to a teacher and not one of your friends." He scolded as he thrust the letter out in my direction.

_That fact is not lost on me, you are definitely not one of my friends_, I thought as I grabbed the letter from his hand, and turned too headed down to the Great Hall for lunch.

"Yes, sir." I turned around and gave him a salute before shaking my head and continue walking on my way pretending that he doesn't exist. I really hated everything about Professor Smittey, from his nasal-y voice to the way he spit on you when he talked if you were unfortunate enough to be sitting in front of him when he walked around the classroom during one of his lectures.

It was an instant and deep hatred. Ordinarily, I don't really support people's irrational hatred of other people, but in this case, I was more than willing to make an exception. Professor Smittey could go jump off of the Astronomy tower, fall into the Black Lake, and be eaten by the Giant Squid for all I cared.

Actually, I think that I would just stand and laugh at him if I would ever be fortunate enough to see that happening. Unfortunately, the odds of that happening are about as good as me winning the Muggle lottery, which if you ask me is a complete farce. "Odds are, you'll have fun."

Yeah, and re-growing every bone in your body is also the way that I enjoy spending my free time.

Oh, well. At least next year I'll be able to leave him in the past when I graduate from Hogwarts. There are going to be things about this school that I will miss, but I can say with full confidence that he will most certainly _NOT_ be on that list, probably along with the trick stairs that I always manage to get my foot stuck in at least once a year.

_But I will definitely miss these rolls._ I thought as I looked down at my spot at the Gryffindor table. There was a pile of rolls right in front of my place…very advantageous positioning if I do say so myself.

No one else was at the table yet, because most of them were coming from the dungeons on the other side of the castle, and I tend to be early like that. But it is not as if I'm cutting off my nose to spite my face here. I don't have to go back to my room to get any books right now because my morning classes are pretty light as far as materials go.

Filling my plate with the chicken, mashed sweet potatoes, and at least two rolls, I decided to once again read the letter from my mum that I was still holding in my hand.

_Dearest Lily, _

_So today is your 17__th__ birthday, sweetie. It seems so hard to believe that you are now an adult in your world now. It seems so hard to believe, but you really are grown up now. You have grown up to be as smart and beautiful as I always knew that you would be. _

_I am really proud of you, my little Lily. I know that you have had to deal with a lot of things that most girls your age don't have to deal with. Especially regarding your sister. I had hoped that you two would have been able to work out the wedge that was driven in between the two of you when you got your letter, but I guess that it was just not meant to be. It always pained me as the mother to see her treating you coldly when you were trying too hard to be friendly. I wish that I knew the reason behind it, but I am afraid that I never will. My best guess is that she has always been just a tad jealous of you. She was older than you, and probably felt like she should have been able to do all of the special things that you have been given the chance to experience. But please know that, underneath it all, you are still sisters, and nothing can change that. You will always have that bond, even though it is not as strong as the one that I believe should have been yours to enjoy. _

_I just wanted you to know how much I do love you. My little girl is grown up now. And while I can't help but wish that you were little again lead you around with your little hand in mine, I know that I need to let go and trust that you know what you are doing._

_So as is custom in my side of the family, I am giving you a special gift as special coming of age present. Usually, it is given on a girl's 18__th__ Birthday, but seeing as this is the coming of age that you will celebrate, I am giving it to you now with all the love and pride that a mother can have for her youngest daughter._

_I will love you forever and always, no matter what you decide to do._

_XOXO, Mum_

I carefully folded the letter and placed it back in my bag where it would be safe when I heard the chatter of my friends and the Marauders start as they took their places around me.

Absently, I started to finger the pearl that was delicately placed in the center of the silver flower that was attached to the simple silver chain that my mum had given to me as my special coming of age present. I had always wondered why she had always carefully avoided my questions about what I was going to be getting for my 18th birthday that I used to ask when I was little. She was always saying that it had to be a surprise, and that it was going to be the most special gift that I ever received for my birthday.

And this necklace was perfect, I could not have asked for anything more beautiful for my birthday.

"Whoa! My gosh Lily, you look absolutely stunning today." Alice exclaimed as she plopped down into her seat which was directly diagonally from me. "You actually look liked you tried this morning, I mean you hair is actually curled and not just pulled back in a messy bun. I am impressed."

"Why do I always detect a note of surprise in your voice whenever you say that?" I laughed as I carefully speared a piece of chicken that was on my plate.

"It is just that you usually look like you could not care less, and now today you actually look like you put some thought into your outfit today." Alice joked as gestured to my carefully pressed shirt and robes.

"Maybe it has escaped your notice, Alice, but we have a uniform here at Hogwarts, there is not much that one can do in the ways of changing up their wardrobe when all one wears are grey skirts, white shirts, and black school robes." I countered as I rolled my eyes at here.

"But, Lily, today you accessorized! Usually you wear no makeup and today I am detecting the hint of blush and lip gloss on your face. I am so proud of you." Alice gushed as she leaned over to pat me on the shoulder.

Vanessa decided to join in our conversation by adding "I have to agree with Alice here, girl. You definitely put some thought into your outfit today. There is no sense denying it."

"I am not even trying to deny it though. I just don't see why you all feel compelled to point out when I look nice. Because then what am I supposed to feel like when you don't compliment me. It is like you are implying that I look like a drunken troll when you don't comment on my outfit. Oh I am sorry, when I decide to "accessorize"." I sarcastically added the air quote things around the last word. I usually despise when people do that, but I completely think that the situation called for it.

"I don't think that I would go so far as to day a drunken troll, but definitely a goblin that did not get much sleep the night before." Beth teased, flashing a smile in my direction.

I snorted into my pumpkin juice at her comment. "Oh thanks, I love you too, sweetie." I replied dryly.

"Aww, Lily is getting grumpy now. Maybe we should apologize for being mean." Vanessa said sticking her bottom lip out sarcastically.

"Ugh, why must I be surrounded with such mean people?" I asked no one in particular.

But obviously not getting the fact that it was mean to be a rhetorical comment, Sirius replied. "Because without us, you would be all alone with no friends just like Charles Miller, and you would not want to be in that situation." He indicated the unfortunate ginger Hufflepuff 2nd year that was sitting alone at the table. "We keep your life interesting."

"I trust that it is in my best interest not to try to disagree without you, even though right now I am internally questioning what exactly you have been smoking in your free time." I laughed as I tossed my hair over my shoulder in a rather grand flip if I do say so myself.

"You should at least be happy that you sit by people who like you, otherwise they would probably start a scene for whacking them in the face with your hair as they are trying to peacefully eat their lunch." James friendly threatened as he tucked my hair behind my ear.

"You are also lucky that I know that I feel secure in our relationship, otherwise I would probably misinterpret your comment and think that you were actually scolding me. Which I know could not possibly be the case, right James?" I replied looking pointedly at my plate, trying my best to keep a straight face, and not burst out laughing.

"I'm once again astounded by your intelligence and good taste in men." He added with a quick kiss on the cheek causing my skin to grow warm right were his soft lips had made contact with my skin.

"How fortunate for the both of us that we both acknowledge my superior intellect and excellent taste in boyfriends, otherwise we really would be up a creek without a paddle with a hole in our canoe." I boasted turning to look at him in the eyes which were twinkling causing the golden flecks to stand out against the bluish-green surroundings.

He leaned in a few centimeters closer so that his nose was touching my own, and his eyes were completely filling my vision.

"Almost correct, I think that I am the smarter one in this scenario because I was the one who finally decided to just kiss you. So I think that that puts me a couple of points ahead in the intelligence department." James whispered just barely brushing his lips with my own.

I inhaled deeply, breathing in the warm cinnamon and vanilla scent that was so uniquely his own. I don't know why it appeals to me so much, but if I had to make a guess, I think that it would have something to do with the fact that it reminds me of grandma's apple pie. And I had always felt so secure and content when I was at her house.

Even though, I think that James tastes much better than that pie, considering the fact that the pies never caused my heart to beat in triple time and my insides to twist and turn, but in a good way.

It was always in the good way, whenever or wherever James Potter is concerned.

I am pathetic.

I am a love-sick fool.

Also, I am a terrible waster of parchment because I know that I have written about this before.

And as soon as I wrote that last sentence, I discovered that I do not care, because no matter how many times that I say it, it never loses any of the sparkle.

Whatever, it is not like anyone is ever going to read this, so it is not like it matters what I write about.

After deepening the kiss, I pulled back slightly. "I was all ready kicking your rear in the intelligence department because this whole fiasco began, so at the very least we are just even now. And that is only if you are very lucky."

"I am very lucky. The stars danced across the sky the night I was born." He continued in the most arrogant tone of voice that I have heard him use in the longest time.

"You are also very ridiculous, and you're quite lucky I like you as much as I do, otherwise you would be in serious trouble." I finished as I threaded my fingers through the hair at the back of his neck.

"Did you just say my name?" Sirius questioned loudly enough to catch our attention, before turning to Alice to continue. "I knew it, St. Prongs! Lily is a bad influence on my best mate. Now they are plotting against me, probably deciding how best to kill me…Probably planning on murdering me in my sleep like You-know-who."

Quickly sending a wink in James's direction so that he would be on board with my plan, I whispered loudly "I think that the best way would be to sharpen an old stick and stab him in the back with it when he has his back turned to us."

"No, I think it would be better to drop him in the Black Lake with a weight tied to his foot so that the Mer-people can just kill him for us, because then they cannot trace us to the murder." James corrected me, effortlessly catching on to what I was intending to do.

"You see what I have to deal with." He complained to Ernie. "And to think, I was originally hoping that the two of you would do me a favor and get together…but I thought what we had was special, James. Come on mate, Chicks before Dicks!"

James and I both doubled over in laughter unable to keep a straight face any longer. It was Sirius's last comment that had done us in; he was so wrapped up in the moment that I think that his mouth was working faster than his brain, because he obviously did not realize that his comment should have been "bros before hoes" and not "chicks before dicks".

"Sorry Padfoot, but Lily is a much better kisser than you are. So I am sure how you can see how my hands are tied in this situation." James confessed as he put his arm around my shoulders.

"Oh, I see how it is Prongs. All it takes is for her to bat her eyes and toss her auburn hair over her shoulder and the Big brain shuts off and the Little brain goes into overdrive." Sirius accused.

Looking unperturbed by his train of logic James just smiled and leaned over to place a kiss on my hair over my ear.

"At least there is some brain function going on, which is more than I can say for you, Sirius." I retorted, taking aim and deciding that it is best to get him with at least one barbed comment while I can.

Alice, Beth, and Remus all snorted into their glasses of pumpkin juice, and I took that as all the affirmation that I needed to know that my comment had been a particularly good one. That is definitely one of the joys of having friends; they know when to take you seriously and when to just disregard your comments in the name of a good burn.

"Oh, how you wound me Lily." Sirius said dramatically placing a hand over his heart.

"You will live." I replied picking up my books and heading to my next class now that lunch was over. James hurried to pack up all of his materials so that we could walk to our next class together.

"Lily?" James began as he casually matched my shorter stride. It had been a problem when we first started walking together. I felt like I was forever walking a half a pace behind him, considering the fact that his legs are longer than mine are.

"Yes, James." I answered not bothering to look at him as I was preoccupied with making sure that I did not have any crumbs attached to my face. I ended up eating about five rolls during lunch, but I don't care; they are too delicious for their, or my, own good.

"Have I ever told you that you are the most delightful person that I know?" He asked as he reached down to clasp his hand around my own.

"That is what I keep telling everyone, but you are one of the first people to believe me." I joked as I leaned into him slightly.

"I highly doubt that you have to remind too many of your teachers of that fact very often, they practically go around singing your praises to anyone who will listen to them anymore." James frowned as he ran his free hand through his hair. I have noticed that he still does that, but not just to make himself look cooler. I think that it has just become a habit for him after all this time.

"Tell that to Professor Smittey." I rolled my eyes. "He does not have a good thing to say about me."

"Professor Smittey is not in his right mind, and I don't think that he likes anyone. I should know I had him last year myself." James affirmed with a shake of his head.

"You are only trying to make me feel better; Professor Smittey does not hate _everyone_. You are a shameless flatterer, James Potter." I stated knowing that I really did not care in the slightest.

"Only for you, my darling." James brought our entwined hands up to his lips so that he could kiss the back-side of my hand, in a charmingly courtly manner, which he knew made me do weak at the knees thanks to my addiction to Julia Quinn and Jane Austen.

_That's reassuring _I thought to myself as I leaned up to kiss him properly on the mouth before we walked into Professor Binn's classroom, knowing that that would be our last bit of excitement as we would be hearing about the Goblin and Troll Revolutions of the 18th Century.

**Author's Note: I wanted to know how many of you caught the regrowing of bones mention that I included at the beginning of this chapter. It was my subtle tribute to what I think was the best of the Potter Films, even though that is my least favorite book. (I also wonder how many of you scrolled back up to the top, if you missed the mention the first time.)**

**Anyways, I hope that you liked this chapter…I know, you are probably just excited that I updated again so fast. I am surprised by it myself, and you know that is saying something in and of itself.**

**Once again, please leave me a review with your thoughts.**

**Love, Allison.**


	29. For the Love of Questions

**Author's Note: High School is once again in full swing. I actually like a lot of my teachers, and as my dad likes to tease, none of them have taken an instant dislike to Allison P. I know that the whole situation is my fault because before the first day I was really and said "but what if all of my teachers develop an irrational hatred of me? This year is going to be terrible!" He has yet to let me live that down…it is my professional opinion that he never will. Fathers! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the recognizable characters from the best-selling Harry Potter series. They remain, as they always will, in the hands of J.K. Rowling.**

Charmed Love Chapter 28

March 18

Somewhere over the Rainbow, more accurately called Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"Actually it is called sarcasm, Beth. I'm not going to let you, or anyone else for that matter, borrow my new copy of Northanger Abbey." I said as I walked down to the Great Hall for early Saturday breakfast.

"But Li-ly, you know that I haven't read that in _ages_. And I am you best friend in the entire world, so you know that you want to let me read your copy of Northanger Abbey, that is what best friends are for you know?" Beth persisted while we walked into the hall.

"You know as well as I do that you have never read any of the Austen books. So what is the real reason behind your sudden, intense desire to read them?" I teased helping myself to some of the scrambled eggs that were sitting on the table.

"You are always harping on us to read some more, Lily. I didn't think that it would be a problem if I suddenly showed an interest in one of your books." She replied, taking her seat across from me.

"Going to have to agree with Beth on this one, sweetie. You haven't a leg to stand on in your refusal to share the leather-binded goods." Alice added, never losing the opportunity to spread the, what she calls _Austen-craze_, to anyone who showed even a remote interest. I thought that I was a dedicated fan, but Alice took this to a whole new level.

"It isn't that I don't want to give her my book. It's just that, well, Look." I implored as I held up her battered notebook that she carries around with her religiously. She says that it is her everything notebook, but any of us who know her better know that it is most likely her journal of sorts. She has been scribbling her life away in that thing since…ever.

"What does my everything notebook have to do with the unavailability of the Lily Evans public_-to-her-friends_ library?" Beth retorted as she reached across the table to retrieve her notebook from my outstretched hand.

"Well, no offense to your beloved notebook, Beth, but the thing is falling apart." I said as I lifted the duct-taped cover.

"In her defense, Lily, that surgery was my fault. I accidentally stepped on it when I was getting out of bed a couple of days ago, and slipped and fell flat on my rear-end. The cover didn't stand a chance." Alice described as she made whooshing movements with her hands.

"But this book is my _baby_. I love it like the child that I don't currently have. And when you have a child you protect it with every fiber of your being. You DON'T send it knowingly into a war zone." I said holding the book close to my heart.

"But Lily, you know I won't-" Beth pleaded.

"Your sad puppy dog eyes will have no effect on me, so don't even try." I exclaimed turning pointedly away.

"Aww, but Lily." She continued.

"No."

"Are you sure?" Beth asked.

"I am positive." I affirmed.

"Are you positive about the fact that you are positive?"

"I am more positive about this that I have been about anything in my life." I exaggerated eating another forkful of scrambled eggs.

"Ohhhh, wait until I tell James. And to think that he probably thought you were the highest level of positive where he is concerned." Beth taunted

"My relationship with James Potter has nothing to do with this conversation." I snorted, not a particularly attractive sound. Not that it actually stopped James from coming up behind me to place a kiss on the back of my neck that was exposed from leaving my hair up today.

"What's this about our relationship not being important to your conversation?" James questioned as he pulled on the Quidditch robe that he had been carrying.

"James, we were talking about the fact that I am not going to lend Beth my beautiful, new copy of Northanger Abbey. So, you were really not in the conversation." I explained as I scooted over on the bench so that I was leaning slightly into him.

"Why aren't you going to lend her your copy? I thought you two were friends again?" James continued as he sent glances in Beth's direction.

"Yeah, I thought we were friends. Lily!" Beth inserted, trying to play the guilt card.

"We are friends, Beth, better than before I'd wager." I reassured her. "But that does not mean that I am going to send my beloved child into your binding-creasing, corner-folding, passage underlining _clutches_!"

"She considers a book her child?" James questioned with a worried-for-my-sanity look on his handsome face, but then again I can be a tad biased. About the handsome part that is…

"Yeah, it is a long story. You shouldn't be worried. Anyways, you knew that she was a few flavors short of a Bertie Bean Box when you asked her out, if you follow my train of thought." Alice replied to James's inquiry with a smug look on her face, I could tell that she was proud of that bean comment.

"I DO NOT HAVE _CLUTCHES!_" Beth shrieked, lifting her eyebrows in a reproachful manner.

"While I would ordinarily agree with you, I have to stand by my opinion in this case. You are definitely not going to use my copy."

"But Li-ly!"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Even with a cherry on top?"

"Now you just sound pathetic. Everyone knows that the cherry-on-top thing stopped working when you were three." I teased.

"So take pity on me and let me use your book." Beth reasoned.

"Not going to happen." I said as I grabbed another blueberry muffin.

"Oh, for the love of Merlin's right buttocks, just give it up Beth. I highly doubt that Lily is going to cave, so for the sake of eating breakfast in peace, I am going to lend you my copy." Alice said punctuating her sentence with a vindictive bite of toast.

"Okay. I now love you most because Lily is being a _horrible friend_ and not letting me use her copy." Beth reproached, glaring in my direction.

"I didn't know that you were in competition to be the most loved with your friends? Does it bother you that you are not number one anymore?" James asked as he placed a kiss on the top of my head.

"Nah, not too much. I know that Beth is just blowing off steam. If she was just holding in it, it would be much worse later. Trust me." I turned my head so that my nose was in the crook of his neck.

Have I ever mentioned that my James smells divine?

I saw you remembering that I mentioned that. If you could notice that, but you can't. Because you are a book. And therefore not able to notice stuff like that. I really need to get a hobby. Or at least stop asking questions from inanimate objects.

"So are you pumped for that Quidditch match today, James?" Remus asked finally arriving and joining in the group. He looks exhausted; maybe he is not getting enough sleep. I really hope that the other Marauders are not keeping him up all hours planning some more of their pranks. Although, I have noticed that there have not been as many _unfortunate events_ happening to the Slytherins this year, but my guess that the reason behind that is because their beloved James is not sharing a dorm with them anymore.

Not that I care or anything. Their pranks were always so childish. And stupid. And otherwise not entertaining at all. Really. Don't give me that look. The pranks were immature. End of statement/story/tale whatever you want to call it.

"I guess that I am excited. We are only playing Ravenclaw so that means that it is pretty much an easy victory. Their best players are Vanessa and possibly Eli. But even those two are nothing compared to us." James boasted, squeezing my shoulders with the arm that he had wrapped around me.

"Hey! Vanessa is a great chaser, certainly good enough to take you on, Mr. James Potter." Alice defended her close friend, even though she probably knew that Ravenclaw _doesn't _stand a chance of winning. Because, come on, everyone knows that the Gryffindor team has had a perfect record for the past 3 years.

"Nothing against Vanessa, St. Prongs, because I know that you too are best mates, but they are going down. I bet Vanessa won't score as many points as Prongs here." Sirius smirked, clapping James on the back.

"Vanessa has had a damn good season too. She is undoubtedly the best female chaser in the school. Which automatically makes her better, because like I said, she is female." Alice argued, letting her I-am-woman-hear-my-roar/feminist side bubble up to the surface.

"Definitely." Beth agreed as she peaked up over the copy of Northanger Abbey that she just Accio-ed from their room.

"You must be sniffing some weird potions because your brains are certainly addled." Sirius replied.

"They are smarter that you are." I added finally deciding that this time was as good as any to enter the conversation. Maybe I should start paying attention to the stuff around me and not just become infused in the my-James-smells-wonderful bubble.

"So, Evans. Where do you stand on this issue? Are you with Team Edwards or Team Potter?" Sirius questioned in an announcer-like voice, holding his hand by my face as if he was holding a microphone.

"I don't think that there is a safe answer here." I replied trying to avoid the question that I was not even sure that I had the answer to.

James chuckled and leaned in to my ear. "You can answer honestly; I promise that I won't think any differently of you if you don't say Team Potter." He whispered leaning in so far that I could feel his lips moving and forming the words on my ear. I felt my skin warm almost instantaneously.

"Do you care to put your galleons where your mouth is, Black." Alice challenged, her golden eyes flashing with delight, because Sirius could not resist a bet, no matter what the stakes.

"Only if you care to reciprocate, St. Prongs." Sirius returned as he set down his fork.

"45 galleons is the wager. I get the money if Vanessa gets the same number of points as James, here does. And you get the money if James scores more points. Is that a deal?" Alice declared.

"I accept, but be prepared to lose your money, because James always gets the most points." Sirius taunted with the air of someone secure in his decision.

"Well, I am going to go down to the pitch because I want to get a good seat so that I can watch those galleons fall out of Black's pocket, figuratively of course." Alice corrected, always the conscientious grammar police.

"I'll go with you; are you coming, Lily?" Beth asked as she picked up her navy jacket that was sitting right next to her.

Before I got a chance to reply in the affirmative, James interrupted. "You go the Quidditch games? I thought that you avoided those like the plague."

"Of course I go to the games. I might not have had much luck with the sport personally, but that doesn't mean that I can't go to the games." I replied, not bothering to explain that the real reason I went to the games is because I loved watching him. His already animated features became even livelier, which was always a pleasure to watch. But what was so nice about it, is that he had not known that I was watching him, or even that I was at the game apparently. I was okay with him not knowing. It was just something that I did.

"Lily Evans goes to the games. I can't believe it." James wondered.

"Well, were else am I going to see you play the sport that you can't otherwise stop talking about. It was preferable to not having any idea what is going on." I said not really knowing how else to respond.

"Hey, I haven't been talking about it _that _much. It was a lot worse in past years, as I am sure Remus could attest to." James replied as we walked down the corridor on our way out to the field. "So your reason is no even valid, try again."

Could he tell that I was just dancing around the real answer? I don't know. Maybe I don't even care. Should I care? I don't know. Did I remember to turn my alarm clock off? Shoot, I don't remember. Maybe I should just give up on this. Man, lying gives me a headache.

"Because I actually enjoy it. Is that so unbelievable?" I decided that the part truth was the best route was the safest route to take, or at least the one that it is not incriminating no matter what I do.

It took me a minute to register the fact that he was not answering me. This, as I am sure you could guess, was not very reassuring in the least bit. Actually, it made me contemplate the benefits of hiding under a rock until the red from my cheeks goes away.

And then after I was ready to start searching for a rock large enough to hide under, James planted like the biggest Hollywood-worthy kiss on my very unprepared lips.

When he pulled away about 10 seconds later, to say that I was stunned would have been a huge understatement. "What-?" I managed to get out before his right hand that had been holding me to him on the small of my back, shot up and clamped over my mouth.

"Don't say anything." He commanded. "I know how difficult that is going to be for you, but please don't say anything right now."

Not able to respond to that question without making me look like an idiot or further proving his point, I just glared at him with all the indignation I could muster.

"I just need a moment for it to sink in that Miss Lily Evans actually enjoys watching Quidditch, no matter how ludicrous I find that conclusion." He said looking down at me with a smug expression on his face. "You know, you are very adorable when you are not talking."

I think the I-cannot-believe-that-you-actually-said-that look accurately described my feeling to perfection.

"Now, as much as I don't want to, I am going to remove my hand so that I can kiss you again, seeing as that would be very difficult through my hand. Do you promise not to say anything?" He whispered, taking another step closer to me, only then realizing that we were no longer walking.

I just looked at him, not really sure if I was angry or just mildly ticked off that he still had his hand over my mouth.

"First of all, I hereby promise that if you ever do that again, I am going to have to hex off your testicles. Second, I can be quiet-" I ranted punctuation each phrase with a poke on his shoulder.

"I will keep that in mind." James said coldly before turning away to continue walking down the halls.

"Now don't get your wand in a knot simply because I didn't stay quiet. Because that is just a stupid reason to be ticked." I warned as I hurried over so that we were once again walking side by side.

"Well, I think that I've got a reason to be ticked when all I asked is for you to keep your mouth shut for a couple of seconds, because I wanted to ask you something special. But you can't even manage that." He retorted still not even meeting my gaze.

"James I would hope that after knowing me for as long as you have that you would have realized that I would only be able to keep my mouth closed if my life depended on it. But other than for the security of my life, I usually keep talking." I laughed, relieved that he was probably only blowing off steam before the match today.

"I realize that, and usually it is one of the things that I like most about you, but...It doesn't matter; I don't have time for this right now." He said pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

"Oh," I replied, just a little shocked that he was about to turn and leave. We usually kissed before he just left, but I guess that that wasn't going to be happening today.

I tried stepping forward to reach up for his face, but he just turned around and took a step away from me. I awkwardly grabbed my wrist with my opposite hand, acutely aware of the fact that they were now empty.

"So I'll see you after the game?" I questioned in a higher more insecure voice that I was hoping for. Great, now he probably thinks that I am just pathetic. Which I probably am, considering the fact that I can't keep my mouth shut.

He turned around and saw me standing there, his face changed instantly…I can only imagine what in the world he is thinking. And quite frankly I don't want to know. "Yeah, we can meet up in the common room." He replied, and upon seeing my stunned look at his response (I was expecting something more like _No, Can't_); he continued, "I'm not angry at you, Lily. Just a little nervous and other stuff like that." With that, he walked away, leaving me standing alone just outside the door.

Not knowing what else to do, I walked down to the pitch to get a seat with the rest of my friends.

"Hey there you are, Lily. We were looking all over the other stands for you. We thought you accidentally got into the wrong one or something." Beth said gesturing to the seat right next to her, in our usual front row right behind the Gryffindor Hoops.

"Ha-ha, very funny." I replied without much humor at all.

"Oh, don't get your wand in a knot." Alice replied from the other side of Beth's boyfriend, Colin. "You know that we only tease you because you are our best friend. So, feel special."

"Or, in other words, we only tease you because we love you so much. If we didn't tease you, it would be because we didn't like you that much." Beth added after Alice was done speaking.

"I know guys. It is just that James and I just parted on a rather sour note and it _is_ putting my wand in knot because I don't want to leave from the situation without fixing it." I replied resting my head comfortably on Beth's shoulder.

"You sure are tense where he is concerned, aren't you?" Beth replied, softly patting my knee.

"It is just that I don't want to screw anything up. I am just so afraid that one day he is going to wake up, and realize that I am not all that spectacular and he is going to wonder what in the world he is still doing with me." I confided, turning my head slightly so that I could smell the wool from her sweater. It may seem odd, but Beth also smells nice. Not in the same sense that James does, her sent doesn't make my head grow cotton; but after being friends for so long, she just smells _comforting_.

"Don't say stuff like that. Do you know how many guys out there would curse James just to get a chance to date the Lily Evans?" Beth scolded, laughing slightly.

"It's not that I don't think that I'm a great catch. Because I know that I am." I boasted sitting up to look her in the eye. "I just am so afraid that James has put me so high up on a pedestal that I can't ever hope to live up to what I am supposed to be. And that when he realizes that I am not _that_ perfect, he is just going to walk away."

"Silly, Lily. That's not going to happen." She assured me, her clear blue eyes shining with friendship and loyalty. But that was just the problem, I wasn't sure if she wouldn't just say something like that even though she knows that it is not true, just for the sake of friendship.

I was about to reply when everyone started cheering, suddenly reminding me that I was at James's Quidditch game. Maybe I should start paying attention.

"Ah-ha! GO VANESSA!" Alice shouted after Vanessa just scored a point. Alice wasn't usually so vocal at games; I had a feeling that the fact that she had a bet going on this game has something to do with the excessive cheering.

The game continued much the same way. Alice cheered loud enough to be heard in Dublin, and my eyes never left the form of my flying James Potter.

At that thought, I stopped thinking and wondered when exactly I had started referring to him as "my James". I didn't know if I was supposed to be thinking that. We weren't officially together, but we did all of the typical "together" type of things. We held hands in the hallway, talked until the last possible minute before class began, picked food off of each other's plates at mealtimes, and we kissed a lot. I felt face and neck grow warm as I remembered how we had kissed the night of my birthday.

"It seems that instead of going to talk to his team during the final minutes of the break before the game continues, James Potter is flying in the direction of the box. This is un-precidented in Quidditch history, so I can only imagine the thoughts running through the minds of the fans watching the game." A young Hufflepuff commentated, bringing me out of my thoughts.

It was a good thing that happened too, because the next thing I know, James is hovering in the space in front of me. "Hey there." He greeted me looking so composed; one would think that he did this every game.

"Are you allowed to do this?" I asked, looking around us, fully aware of the fact that the entire student body of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was watching our every move.

"I don't know, I don't think that is has ever been done before, so there can't be a rule against it." He smiled, glorying in the fact that I was utterly befuddled.

"Well, that is certainly the attitude to have." I replied, not sure how else to reply in this highly irregular situation.

"Isn't it though?" He touched a thoughtful hand to his chin. "Anyways, that isn't the point of why I am over here."

"And what, pray tell, is the reason for flying over here in the middle of the Quidditch game." I asked standing up. I reasoned that it was better to take this on my feet because sitting down did not feel right any longer.

"I wanted to ask you something very important. The important thing that I wanted to ask you earlier, but then the moment was ruined…" He continued, his eyes growing warm and crinkling around the corners.

"I am sorry about that. I just hated the fact that you had put your hand over my mouth like I was a little kid, and I had to retort. And, I am talking again and stealing your moment, so I'll stop now." I finished seeing his expression change into a knowing smile.

"Well, you know that my birthday is in nine days, and my parents always have a big celebration for it. This year they decided that they wanted it to be something more like a ball, so I have to have a date. I was wondering if you would honor me with your arm for the evening." James formally requested, taking my hand and placing a kiss on the back of it. The sort of gentlemanly-like things that he knew made me go weak at the knees, due to my _probably_-unhealthy addiction to Jane Austen and Julia Quinn.

"I would be delighted to go with you. And just so you know, I took ballet lessons for six years when I was little, so you needn't have fear for your toes getting stepped on." I replied, trying my hardest to be cute and girlfriend-ish.

"Shall we seal this with a kiss?" He inquired, and before I had a chance to respond, he was already kissing me, and as I am sure you can imagine, I was okay with that.

He pulled away after a couple of seconds and flew back to his team. The game resumed with surprising speed and I was still standing like an idiot with a hand against my cheek.

"-Ey! Love-struck, do you think that you could put your ass back on the bench." Some person, who probably over-indulged in the firewhiskey before the game, said from behind me.

I sat down, and did a little happy dance in my seat. I felt like singing, or possibly composing some really bad poetry. James asked me to a ball. I was going to get to see him in a suit. (There was no doubt in my mind that he would look devilishly handsome)

"Lily, you so have to let me help you pick out your dress. Because you have to look perfect, and you can't do it alone." Alice piped in, her eyes gleaming at the thought of a shopping trip in Hogsmeade the following weekend.

"Sure, I don't see why you can't. I was a lot of people's opinion, and you do always choose the most spectacular dresses." I replied, smiling because I knew that we would have so much fun together.

"And I'll even have Sirius's money because so far this game, Vanessa has been unstoppable." Alice gloated.

I just looked at her, wondering when she was going to realize that she was implying that my James hadn't been playing as good.

"That is not to say that James hasn't been playing well, because he has. It is just that Vanessa has been playing extremely well." Alice revised.

"Oh MY GOD! LILY!" Beth shrieked, grabbing my cloak and pointing towards the field.

At first I didn't see anything. But then out of the corner of my vision I saw James falling through the air and landing in a heap on the earth below. I don't even remember screaming or anything of that sort. All I remember is staring at the ground with a look of absolute horror.

My stomach clenched and twisted as I contemplated if he was hurt and for one panic-stricken moment I prayed that he had not died. He had been pretty high up in the air when he had fallen, and was already being whisked off the Hospital Wing.

I followed in a flurry of movements and after what seemed like an eternity, I was standing next to his bed holding his hand in my own.

"What happened? What's the diagnosis, Professor?" I asked after taking several deep breaths.

"It would seem that his broom had been jinxed and he was thrown from it while he was diving for the Quaffle. When he hit the earth, many of the weaker bones in his body broke from the impact. I was able to fix them all, but the potion that I gave him for the pain will keep him unconscious for the next 36 hours." Madame Pomfrey said I she made a couple of notes on his clipboard and hung it at the foot of his bed.

"That sounds painful." I grimaced, hating to think of him being in that much pain. I knew that he would be up and about in no time because I had seen Madame Pumfrey's work enough times to trust her in these types of situations.

"I know that you must be worried so I will let you stay in here for the rest of the night. You can just use one of the other beds in the hospital so that you can get some sleep. But also know that the potion will leave him unconscious for the rest of the evening. You aren't going to get a response out of him, of any kind." She advised placing special emphasis on the last phrase before she closed and locked the door.

I laughed a little bit when I realized that she meant that we couldn't have sex tonight. It was funny and mortifying that one of the adults here thought that James and I were making love at all and probably on a regular basis. If only James knew. He would probably die of laughter.

I looked back down at him, and another wave of sadness washed over me as I remembered his figure falling down from the sky, and all the while knowing that there is nothing that I could do. I knew that I never wanted to feel that level of helplessness again.

"You really don't have any idea of how special you are to me, do you?" I asked out loud, feeling bold in the knowledge that he could not hear me.

"I wouldn't be able to bear it if anything ever happened to you. You have become such a big part of my life. I look forward to all of the times that we get to talk and laugh together." I continued sitting down on the corner of his bed, still holding his hand in my own.

"I find it hard to believe that I ever hated you. But then again, I don't know if I ever hated _you_, because to hate someone that personally I would have to actually know them. And I didn't know you, at least not who you really are. I just thought that you were an arrogant, bullying prankster, and I hated you for it. But I know now that you are smart, funny, and probably about just the best guy that I have ever had the fortune to meet." I affectionately ran my fingers through the hair by his ear.

"Even though we sometimes get on each other's nerves, like you leaving your school robes on the back of the sofa even though you know that bothers me, and my inability to keep my mouth shut…I can't imagine someone I would rather spend my last year with." I could feel my nose start to buzz, thinking of nothing but this sedimental crap as Sirius would call it.

"I am glad that I got to know you. Plain and simple. And the only thing that I regret is taking so long to finally figure that out." I continued, rearranging my body so that I was lying out next to him on top of the covers. I yawned, only then realizing how tired I was.

"I think that I might be in love with you James Potter." I said placing a soft kiss on his lips before snuggling down, pillowing my head on his chest.

"Yes, I think I must love you." I whispered before falling asleep.

**Author's Note: So after a much longer period that I had intended I finally got a chapter up. I really hoped that you all like it, because I sure am proud of it. I like adding in my own little quirks into the characters, because I for one also despise when anyone folds the corners of in one of my books. **

** I also want to take the opportunity to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY Kate! I know that your 16****th**** birthday is not until next Sunday, but I could not help but include a special note thing for you. You truly are one of my muses. And I thank you for all of your inspiration, even though you do read the end of the book first so you know if you want to read it. (Another one of my pet-peeves) **

** I am also going to start a new thing at the end of the chapter entries and on my profile. I am going to give a recommended story for anyone who is looking for something new to start reading. So in honor of my friend, I am going to recommend her story. It is called  
"Confusing, Enchanting, and Loving Hermione". Her name is BookishBeauty94. It is a Draco and Hermione Love Story, and I think that it is ever so nicely written, (although I admit that I might be a tad biased). While I know that some of you cannon-only fans out there are probably cringing in your seats, all I have to say is give it a chance; you may be surprised and enjoy reading it. I know that I was when I started reading for that pairing.**

**So after another really long author's note, I bid you adieu once more. **

**Love and happily yours, Allison.**

**P.S. 5,667 Words total! Longest chapter ever!**


	30. Dress Shopping

**Author's Note: So once again (even though it seems as if I am always doing this) I want to apologize profusely for the obscenely long wait that you have had to endure since the last time that I updated and my updating now. Life got hectic, and on top of everything else, I discovered the wonderful world for the vlogbrothers, nerdfighting, and brotherhood 2.0. So any of you out there who are looking for some really funny videos made by people who actually deserve to have people listening to them (i.e., they are actually really smart) go on youtube and check out the vlogbrothers channel. If you are anything like me…you won't regret the decision. But in light of that fact, I have to admit that I have been doing nothing but watching them every waking moment of my existence when I have not been required to do other trivial things such as homework, going to school (AP classes are going to be the death of me), eating, sleeping, practicing my piano and flute…you get the picture. And on top of everything else, I got a boyfriend….**

**So without further ado…Here is the chapter!**

Charmed Love Chapter 29

March 26

The Potter House, probably more accurately described as a bloody Mansion

So here I sit, drinking hot chocolate and wondering how in the world I managed to get myself into this dilemma. Or more importantly, how I am going to deal with the fact that James Potter is actually really wealthy, something that he has never seen fit to tell me about until I was walking up to his house, or what I thought at the time was a museum.

He never considered telling me "Lily, my family is one of the most prestigious and wealthy wizarding families to ever exist. I have enough money that I could buy an entire country or possibly the Pope if I was ever so inclined."

Nope. Never.

And while I am perfectly aware of the fact that he would probably ever say the aforementioned statement (nor would ever consider buying the Pope considering the fact that I don't think he is Catholic) it still would have been nice to know beforehand. Because I believe that _having the ability_ to buy the bloody Pope is certainly noteworthy and something that you would tell people about.

Although, now that I think more carefully on the subject; while never admitting to being wealthy, James never said that he was the equivalent of a pauper. He just never mentioned the whole Pope buying aspect of his financial status.

Anyways, I can tell by the way that your eyes have taken on a sort of blank, glossy look that you are wondering how exactly I came about this Epiphany. So I guess that I will just start at the very beginning, because as they say in the Sound of Music, it is a rather good place to start.

It was actually yesterday when I woke up that the whole thing began…

Okay, I know that since this is a story that I really can't take you back in time, but it would be really helpful if you, my dear journal, could pretend so that I could tell you my story about how I came to find out that James Potter is rich enough to buy the Pope.

-o.0.o-

"Lily, come on, you are going to make us late if you eat another sprig of grapes." Alice complained as she tapped her fingers on the table making sharp staccato notes ping throughout the Great Hall.

"I don't think that a bunch of grapes are called a sprig." I pointed out as I popped one into my mouth and felt the distinctive splash of juice slosh over my tongue. "I think they are just called a bunch."

"Whatever," Alice dismissed the comment with a wave of her hand as if she was shoo-ing a fly away from her face. "Possible technical grammar mistakes aside, my point is still valid. We are going to be late if you persist in stuffing your face with fruit."

"Ugh." I groaned, foreseeing the sudden end of my breakfast enjoyment. "Fine, I'll go now without finishing my fruit even though I don't want to." It really wasn't that big of a deal, but I figured that I would milk the situation for everything it is worth.

"Yes, Lily you are a paragon of virtue and a role model to everyone. Are you done with your pity party now?" Alice asked standing arms akimbo, her cloak looped through one of her arms.

"See what I go through for you." I turned looking at James who was still sitting at the table eating his eggs while talking to Remus.

"What you go through for me?" He questioned; his eyes narrowing in confusion as he tried to follow my train of thought. "What did I do now?"

"It is because of your stupid birthday that I have to go out shopping with Alice today in Hogsmeade. If your parents weren't throwing you a ball for your birthday party I wouldn't be dragged to every dress shop in order to find a suitable dress to wear. So you see, it is your fault." I accused, poking him in the shoulder for extra emphasis.

"What if I told you that I would be willing to make it worth your wild?" He replied as he stood up so that he could seem as though he was willing to share in my plight.

"That is without a doubt the most ridiculous thing that I have heard ever heard you say." I laughed, affectionately ruffling his hair. "Remind me again why, exactly, I put up with you?" I teased.

"I would have thought that that would be pretty obvious. You can't live without me; I am the fire to your soul and the light in your day." He boasted, throwing his head back. James looked like he was waiting for someone to carve a statue of him standing in exactly that manner. _Men!_

"Don't flatter yourself James." I respond, quickly covering up my momentary pause of terror that his comment of not being able to live without him might have sprung up from that night in the Hospital Wing. I didn't want him to know that I was _that _attached to him without having any confidence that he was similarly afflicted.

"Oh, so I am just flattering myself, am I?" He chuckled as he leaned in closer to gently kiss the corner of my mouth.

"Okay, maybe you aren't just flattering yourself. But you are certainly in danger from pulling your arm out of its socket from patting yourself on the back, of that I am positive." I gently pulled back a couple of inches so that I could see the mischievous twinkle that I knew would be in his eyes.

"I think the precise term you are looking for is that I shouldn't let you ever have any doubts that I'm having self-esteem issues. I would never do that to you." He added, his smile going all the way up to his eyes making him seem more handsome than he already is.

I rolled my eyes at that one. "Oh, that's very gentleman-ly of you. I shall sleep better knowing you aren't going to start eating worms."

"Why would I eat worms? I don't think that there are any spices that could make worms taste good." He said.

I had forgotten that he wouldn't have understood my worm allusion. God, sometimes is to just so bloody inconvenient to be muggle-born. "It was an allusion to a children's rhyme that goes: No one likes me. Everybody hates me. I think I'll eat worms." I sang along to the tune.

His eyebrows raised in amusement and probably a good deal of sarcasm. "And remind me again why I hang out with _you_." He asked softly, turning my own words on me.

"Ha-ha, very funny." I replied as I stretched up to kiss him. "You're always the comedian, James."

"Excuse me, Sorry." Alice interrupted. "Don't mean to break up your little love fest, Lily, but if we want to get into town before all of the great dresses are taken, we should probably get going."

"Okay Alice." I turned back to James. "Do you think I have any chance of getting out of this? I could fake an injury; do you think I could develop a convincing injury in the next couple of seconds?"

"Sadly, I don't think so. And besides, you know Alice. Do you really think something as trivial as a possible broken foot would stop her from taking you out dress shopping? She would have you down to Madame Pomfrey, get your foot fixed, and have you in a dressing room before you could say 'No one likes me. Everybody hates me. I think I'll eat worms.' And I know you, Lily. You wouldn't ever go through with that because you are too nice. You know how much Alice wants to go shopping, and wouldn't take that from her." James replied, looking down at me with a knowing smile on his face. God, it is just so bloody inconvenient that he knows me so well.

With a final kiss on the lips, I turned around and headed out from the castle with my arms linked with Alice. I asked her when we were going to meet up with Vanessa and Beth and she replied that we would see them at the dress shop because they decided to sleep in later this morning than us.

The trip to Hogsmeade was fairly uneventful. I listened to Alice prattle on and on about how excited she was to go shopping. She swore that she was only going to help me find the perfect dress for the evening. I rolled my eyes at that; Alice is not known for her frugality. She once bought three bags of cat food just because it was such a great deal. It was not until she came back from her trip that she remembered that she was allergic to cats. Love her to death, but sometimes she is just too much for me.

"Oh, I just love the smell of fresh clothing in the mid-morning. Well, I suppose it is a tad nicer when it is early in the morning, but _somebody_ was taking much longer than necessary when leaving. Now I am not going to name any names, but I think you mean, right Lily?" She said coughing in all the right spots.

"Not all of us feel the compelling need to start shopping at 6:30 in the morning." I said as the shop door's bell tinkled to let us know that Vanessa and Beth had arrived.

"Hey, Lily. Hi Alice" Beth said as she walked over with her arm looped through Vanessa's.

"Did you two have a good breakfast?" Vanessa asked as she moved to stand next to me so that the four of us where in a semi-circle around the entryway to the woman's formal dresses.

"It was just spiffy." I replied as I scanned my eyes over the racks and racks of endless dresses that covered over half of the store. Ugh, this outing was not going to be over any time soon. Alice wouldn't rest until I had tried on every dress and more in the store.

Beth moved to stand on the other side of me. "You don't seem very excited about doing this. It is not going to be that bad, Lily." She leaned in and whispered into my ear.

"Hey, you aren't the one that is going to spend the next five hours dressing and undressing in a small, cramped dressing room while Alice is constantly handing you five more dresses to try on every time that you open the door."

"Now you are just exaggerating and you know it Lily." Beth reproved, putting her arm comfortingly around my shoulders.

"You didn't see the wild, excited look in her eyes when she first walked in this morning. Honestly, I silently prayed that she remembered to use the bathroom this morning in fear that she would pee her pants from excitement." I stated, turning to look at Beth with a definite sense of dread in my eyes.

"Come on Lily, let's get a move on. We're burning sunlight here." Alice said as she peeked around one of the many racks that easily contained twenty dresses on its pole. I saw that Alice was already holding a couple dresses in her hands.

"We should probably go now; we wouldn't want to hear about our sluggish attitudes for the rest of the year, and possibly our respective lives." I said, as Beth laughed at my hyperbole, that unfortunately wasn't that out of the question given Alice's past behavior. She still has a grudge against poor George Adamsfield for spilling her favorite jar of ink in first year.

"Okay, see, we're moving now, Dress-Shopping god." Beth replied as she quickly walked over to the first rack of dresses that she spotted.

"Beth, please don't say that too loud, otherwise we will never hear the end of it." Vanessa said with an oddly frightened look on her face.

"Don't worry Vanessa, it's not like she is going to be offended by us calling her that." Beth rolled her eyes as she wisely passed over a super-short orange dress that had two giant sunflowers over the bust area. I think she saw the I-will-probably-puke-if-I-ever-have-to-wear-that-in-public that flashed over my face when I saw it.

"I'm positive that she won't be offended. I am just afraid that she will make us call her that for the rest of the trip. Can you imagine?" Vanessa shuddered. I laughed, that was defiantly something that didn't take much effort to visualize.

Before I knew it, Alice had grabbed my arm, dragged me to the back of the store to where the dressing rooms are, and shoved me inside one with an armful of dresses. All the while, I might add, informing us that she did hear us talking about the Dress-Shopping god and how she was going to make us call her that for the rest of the trip.

I stripped off my jeans and royal blue sweater as soon as I was sure the door was locked. The first dress that I tried on was a simple floor-length red dress. I carefully zipped up the back and walked out of the dressing room so that I could look at myself in the three-sided mirror that was just outside.

The dress itself was very pretty, but I felt like a fire truck in it. I get enough comments about my red hair on a normal day, I didn't think that I needed to add to the effect by essentially swathing myself in the color. By the time I was finishing up looking at myself in the mirror, Beth, Vanessa, and the Dress-Shopping god were all standing behind me so that they could see each of the dresses. My eyes met theirs in the mirror and we all agreed that this dress was just not the one for me.

The next dress was your typical little black dress, something that looks good on basically everyone. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I could appreciate why everyone loves them so much. I actually felt (and it felt weird to think this) sexy. It exposed a great deal more leg than I normally am comfortable with, but it wasn't so high that I would be self-conscious that my butt was going to show from under the dress. The looks from my friends were all positive, but defiantly in agreement that this might be a little bit much if I was going to be meeting all of his family for the first time.

So, I slipped back in to the room and put on the next dress. It wasn't until I was changing that I realized how strange it was that we didn't need to speak when doing something like this. I guess it is just because we all were so close that speaking it aloud just seemed unnecessary. I don't think I say this enough, but I do have a really great group of friends. We all know and more importantly understand each other so well, that I usually just take it for granted. But I do know a whole lot of people that don't have this luxury of having such terrific friends.

The next dress was a deep blue one that ended just at my knees. It had only one shoulder and along that shoulder it had tiny rosebuds that followed down all the way down the strap and partly over the top like of the bust. As soon as I looked into the mirror, I just knew that this was the dress that I wanted to wear. It was defiantly the one that I felt the most comfortable and beautiful in. It exposed by collarbone, which I knew James would like because, quite honestly, he kisses me there a lot. And it showed off enough of my legs to still look slightly sexy but not so much as to offend any senior members at the ball.

I heard the three of them take a collective gasp when I walked out of the room. I could tell that this dress was the winner for them too. "This is the dress, guys." I simply said as I spun around so that I was facing them.

Beth and Vanessa both agreed with my saying that I looked so beautiful. When Alice didn't immediately speak up, they both turned to look at her. "I wasn't even thinking about suggesting that you try a different dress because it is obvious that you like this one so much." Alice said with a smile on her face. "Plus, I can't wait to see James's eyes fall out of his head when he looks at you."

"Yeah, what I wouldn't give to see the look on your boyfriend's face when you walk down the stairs." Vanessa agreed when I walked back out of the dressing room with my regular clothes back on.

I blushed and looked away. "Umm…James isn't my boyfriend." I replied awkwardly. I always hated it when someone brought that up, because James wasn't technically my boyfriend.

"Oh, Lily. Please tell me that you two have worked that out by now." Beth pleaded with a strained look on her face.

"Well, it's never really come up in conversation. James never mentions it, or even thinks about it most likely, and I don't really know how to broach the topic with him either." I replied as I twined my fingers together in front of me.

"Well, I'm sure that James thinks of you as his girlfriend, Lily. I mean, you have been together since Christmas. Obviously if he didn't like you or consider you his girlfriend he would have dumped you by now. I sure he just hasn't realized that you didn't just assume that as well." Vanessa added in.

"Yeah, but what if he doesn't." I replied in a weaker sounding voice than I would have liked.

Sensing that I didn't really want to talk about this anymore, Alice walked over and out her arm around me. "I'm sure that Lily doesn't want to talk about this right now, guys. But Lily, seriously, you and James really need to work this out. I mean, it was fine for the first couple of months this we-still-act-like-a-lovesick-couple-but-aren't-technically-dating thing, but you two need to decide what you are one way or another. Either you two are dating, or you aren't. And if you aren't, you need to stop this Lily because it will only hurt you later."

I nodded so that she would know that I heard her but didn't say anything else.

"Just promise me that you will think about it, okay. And that you will talk about it with James soon." Alice finished as she walked on ahead with Beth and Vanessa as we were leaving the shop.

They were right as usual. It has been bothering me for the last month, but I have been too afraid to say anything, not sure whether or not it was worth it to upset the delicate balance that James and I have been able to reach in the last couple of months.

I pondered what I would do next as I sat near the window watching the snow melt on the other side of the window pane.

**Author's Note: It is up to you to decide whether or not you want to consider this as a chapter in parts with the other chapter or maybe two (I haven't decided how long I want this to span) that will all birthday related events. Whatever you decide, I really hope that you enjoyed the chapter or Part 1. I just want to apologize again for not updating for such a long period of time. I just went through one of those spells that I didn't really spend any time on fan fiction, so the bug to write a chapter for my story just wasn't there. But as you can see, I started reading again, thus I decided to finish up the chapter that I had started writing about 7 months ago…**

**FanFic Recommend: ****The Innermost Workings of her Mind**** by XxLadyMarauderxX. This story is intensely good and funny. I have a special fondness for this particular story because it was the one that inspired me two write **_**this**_** story three years ago. As is turns out, our stories are not that similar, but that doesn't change how I feel about it. I don't think it has been updated recently, but if you put it on alert, I don't think you will be disappointed when it is updated.**

**Love and Humbly Yours, Allison. **


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